Conspiracy Monthly magazine
This week's Conspiracy Monthly Magazine, which comes out weekly to confuse the authorities, will be left in it's usual place near the flower pot. Collect it Tuesday, and you know what day that means.
written by IainB
, 18 October 2011
Man Utd take bunches of garlic and silver bullets to Romania!
Man Utd left for Romania packed full with bunches of garlic and silver bullets. It seems their unknown opponents are driven by "Dark Forces" and their chairman is Count Dracula!
Kathy Griffin - The Woman Who Knows Just About Everyone (Almost)
Jon Huntsman said that he really realized exactly just how unknown he really is when he heard Kathy Griffin say that she had never heard of him.
Herman Cain - The Man With The Answer
Herman Cain was asked how he would handle the Occupy Wall Street protesters situation. He grinned and said that he would simply bus them all over to Harlem.
Michele Bachmann Has Never Seen So Much Yellow
Michele Bachmann visited New York City and was amazed to see so many yellow taxi cabs. She remarked to her husband Zeus that the city has even more taxis than Sarah Palin has skeletons in her closet.
Ron Paul Truly Appreciates Old People
Ron Paul was asked who he would name to be his secretary of state. He did not miss a beat and replied, "Oh that's an easy one - Betty White. I mean the gal is so old she knows everybody."
Manager of Care Home for the Elderly comments on charges of cruelty
Manageress Tanya Hyde said "Our prisoners are fed well... I mean our patients... I mean our residents are fed well."
MPs spend £11.5million of taxpayers' cash on cheap booze and food!
Despite David Cameron's pledge to scrap the perk. MPs have spent £11.5million of taxpayers' cash on cheap booze and food in the last two years.
Doesn't it piss you off?
Millionaire Minister Mr Letwin, faces official investigations as a result of the 'binning' scandal
Oliver Letwin has since been offered various positions, including; Information Collator in China, Refuge collector in Brussels, and a 'hotel bedroom sharer' with fellow multi-millionaire Willie Hague.
OWS protesters' next goal: occupy the toilets
If courts don't drop the charges against 800 OWS protesters arrested this past month, protesters will occupy every toilet stall in Manhattan. Said one protester, "It'll beat pissing in Zuccotti Park."
written by Lyndon
, 18 October 2011