Hold Onto Your Hat
When anyone begins to refer to himself or herself in 3rd person, hold onto your hat. Lots of hot air will be blowing your way.
Threesomes just didn't work for Demi, but were just fine for Ashton
Demi Moore experimented sexually in order to save her marriage with Ashton Kutcher, often welcoming into their twosome a female. Only problem: the female guest only wanted to have sex with Ashton.
written by Lyndon
, 19 November 2011
Bad Headline Number 93
DOCTORS MUST NOT SIGN OFF SICK (from BBC News website)
Angela and David Side by Side
But facing in opposite directions
written by j.w.
, 19 November 2011
Sepp Blatter racism row: David Cameron joins calls for Fifa president to resign
Well Sepp Blatter joins calls for David Cameron to resign!
At the Elections, David Cameron, pledged he would look after our young
David Cameron has condemned more than a million teenagers to a life without hope as his vicious public cuts send youth unemployment soaring.
Lower Zamgola Has Just Said "No"
The African country of Lower Zamgola has cancelled their planned invasion of Peru due to the fact that the darts from their poison dart guns were found to contain unacceptably large amounts of lead.
Ashton Kutcher and His Brand New Fragrance
Ashton Kutcher, whose wife Demi Moore, has just filed for divorce will soon be coming out with a new men's cologne called, Eau Du Dumped.
Iceland Says That It Just Ain't Gonna Happen
The country of Iceland has cancelled plans for its new reality show Dancing With The Stars when it was learned that there are no stars in Iceland.
The Indianapolis Colts' Giddy Up And Go Has Gotten Up and Gone
The owners of the Indianapolis Colts, who are currently 0-10, are so embarrassed that they are seriously thinking about moving the team to Tijuana, Mexico.
Joan Rivers - One of The Biggest Porponents of Botoxing
Melissa Rivers says that she is really concerned that her mother may be getting carried away with botoxing after she learns that her mom recently had her uterus botoxed.
Jet Blue Is Desperate
Jet Blue Airlines in a move to attract more business is offering each passenger between now and Thanksgiving a free Butterball Thanksgiving Turkey.
The Amish People Do Have Very Strict Rules and Regulations
An Amish woman living in Buggy Whip, Ohio said that she was ostracized from the Amish group when she accidentally revealed to a neighbor that she has been fantasizing about an electric vibrator.
Naomi Campbell Does Not Cotton To Being Harassed
Naomi Campbell, who has one of the meanest tempers in the nation, said that if Herman Cain tried what he did with the white blonde women with her that he would end up wearing his balls as ear plugs!
Electricity Finally Comes To The Village of Tumbasumba
The African village of Tumba, Buffaranda, population 19,873, has finally hooked up to Buffaranda Power and light. Sales of microwaves and blenders are expected to increase by at least 600%.
Gatorade Was Originally Not Orange
When Gatorade was first invented back in 1965, it was pink in color but the color was quickly changed to orange since back then pink was considered to be a sissy color.
The Former 'Husband Stealer' Known As LeAnn Rimes
Country singer LeAnn Rimes has stated that she will never, ever again steal another woman's husband unless of course her husband Eddie Cibrian dumps her and she becomes desperate.
Simon (Cowell) Says
Simon Cowell has announced that he and 60s singing duo Simon and Garfunkel have agreed to form a music publishing company to be called, Simon, and Simon and Garfunkel Music.
Occupy Wall Street Mobs
Corrupt Democratic politicians & armchair liberals encourage OWS violent troublemakers who carry hateful signs, suppressing everyone's rights but theirs. Armchair liberals could get bit in the ass!
White House Thoughts on Occupy Wall Street Mobs
PRESIDENT OBAMA: They represent a leaderless utopian left leaning movement that will vote for me in November 2012. FIRST LADY: They're a bunch of freeloading bastards!
Why Always During Dinner
The colon lady, TV spokesperson for combating diarrhea, constipation, bloating & gas goofed, blowing herself into low earth orbit. NASA is investigating the concept as a new orbiter power source.