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UK balls biting woman mistook them for hairy kiwis, she claims!

A balls biting UK woman has been given a "stiff" sentence because she chewed her boyfriends hairy pride and joy. "It was a mistake," she claimed; she thought they were a pair of hairy kiwis!

written by Jaggedone, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Mary Poppins attacks Spoof HQ!

Mary Poppins attacked Spoof HQ with a kalashnikov and her umbrella. Mark was tied up on the bog as she attacked reading a Micky Mouse comic: He promised never to let the word M+s+im be used again!

written by Jaggedone, 11 November 2011
Rating:

BMW has announced that the new 5 Series will have a 'Self Park' option

Also: Self not-indicating; Self-pulling out into traffic when there is no gap; Self-tailgating and flashing headlights allowing BMW drivers to use their iPhones to pose like the jerks they are

written by ExiledRoyal, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Woman sentanced for biting boyfriend's testicle

During sentancing the woman from Gateshead was told by the judge, 'Although I cannot condone your actions, it did take some balls'

written by Perks, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Russia Rethinks Design Of Spacecraft

'The current problem with the Phobos-Grunt Mars mission marks yet another technical failure of our spacecraft,' confirmed a senior official. 'From now on we will cease to use second-hand Lada parts.'

written by Swan Morrison, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Swearing In for Greek Unity Cabinet

'******,' they all exclaimed. 'How the **** are we going to solve this ****** debt!'

written by Swan Morrison, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Joe Paterno To Make The Reality Show Circuit

Now that he is unemployed former Penn State Coach Joe Paterno has agreed to appear in an upcoming episode of the reality show The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Fired Penn State Coach Joe Paterno and Herman Cain

Herman Cain called up fired Penn State Coach Joe Paterno and said he wanted to thank him for taking the heat off of him. He said he's mailing him 10 coupons for free Godfather's Pizza.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Ex-Penn State Coach Joe Paterno Already Has Another Offer

Former Penn State Coach Joe Paterno has stated that he has been asked to be the coach of the newly formed Occupy Wall Street Flag Football Team.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Ron Paul Focuses On The Penn State Students

Ron Paul stated that Penn State University needs to be shut down since it is evident from the violent student reaction to the firing of coach Joe Paterno that the education part ain't working.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

England 5 - Iceland 0

Admitted it was only Stuart Pearce's, and Icelands under 21's teams.

But a good start? Even the Iceland manager said; "They will do well. You can bank on it!"

written by Inchcock, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Prisons Minister Would like to see no women in Prison in the future!

To achieve his target, serial killer Rose West, Baby P's mother Tracey Connelly and Karen Matthews, mum of kidnapped Shannon, would all have to be freed.

written by Inchcock, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Vince Cable says EU debt crisis will collapse UK banks!

EU debt crisis could unleash economic "armageddon" which will collapse UK banks, Business Secretary Vince Cable warned yesterday.

So what are we doing still in the EU?

written by Inchcock, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Princes William and Harry were trailed by News Of The World snoops!

Can't understand why they didn't follow me to the hospital cardiac unit, the doctors surgery, the JCP, the debt assessors, and the toilet?

written by Inchcock, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Abi Izzard, changed her name to StopFortnumAndMasonFoieGrasCruelty.com!

"The 27 year old said, "Whatever small inconveniences I have with my name are nothing compared to the suffering that millions of birds go through every year"

Check out the website!

written by Inchcock, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Schoolgirl Tamsin Jarvis Celebrated her 11th birthday at 11 minutes to 11 on the night of 11.11.2011

Mum, Sara, 41, gave Tamsin, who was born in room 11 at a hospital maternity ward, the middle name Poppy, as she was born on Remembrance Day.

A nice story in the news for once!

written by Inchcock, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Jon Huntsman Is Growing Even More Desperate

Jon Huntsman is so desperate for media attention that he reportedly tried to convince a retired waitress to say that 12 years ago he told her he'd give her a good tip if she would touch his winky.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Kim Kardashian Has Offered Kris Humpries Quite A Deal

Kim Kardashian who filed for divorce from Kris Humphries after only 72 days of marriage says she's willing to compromise on the $2 million ring. She said she'll return it, if he pays her $2 million.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Rick Perry Fires Off A Shot At Herman Cain

Rick Perry said that his "Oops Moment" is really no big deal. He smiled and said that it's not exactly like he groped anyone or denied ever groping anyone.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain and Nancy Pelosi Playing A Game of "Tit For Tat"

Nancy Pelosi said that she does not appreciate Herman Cain calling her Princess Nancy. She remarked that if he does it again she will start calling him Herman the Wandering Pecker.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Ron Paul Says That He Ain't No Herman "The Player" Cain

Ron Paul said that he wants to state for the record that contrary to recent unsubstantiated rumors he has never sexually harassed Clorish Leachman, Betty White, or Joan Rivers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Michele Bachmann Has A Campaign Slogan For Herman "PizzaGate" Cain

Michele Bachmann taking Herman Cain's remark about whether or not he will drop out of the race by saying "It Ain't Gonna Happen" says that Cain should make that his new presidential campaign slogan.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 November 2011
Rating:

La Niña and El Niño: A climatic relationship breakdown.

El Niño has been under increased pressure resulting in unpredictable behavior. La Niña, fed up with all of his hot air, changed the locks resulting in the lightning paced breakdown.

written by DB Madd, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Perry vows to cut three government agencies and can even name two of them

Rep. Rick Perry promises that he'd cut out three major government agencies. "Commerce, Education and the-what's the third one there? Let's see. Oh, fuck it. It'll come to me if I'm elected President."

written by Lyndon, 11 November 2011
Rating:

A Strange Coincidence

What a coincidence that Ms. Bialek, who accused GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain of sexual harassment, had lived in the same building as David Axelrod President Obama's political strategist!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2011
Rating:

A Problem Solved

A species of cannibal has been found living on a remote South Pacific island that eats rabid environmentalists. Plans are being made to relocate dozens of these cannibals to each of the 50 states!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2011
Rating:

Something Smells

The odor of corruption surrounding the Obama administration increases like three day old fish. Solyndra is the tip of a political patronage heap to be uncovered prior to the November 2012 election!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2011
Rating:

China's New Oil Source

President Obama will procrastinate another two years about building the Canada to Texas pipeline. Canadian leaders will make sure they have a closed mike when discussing what they think of Obama!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2011
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