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Rating:

Proof That the Pope Smokes Dope!

It has been reported that Pope Benedict XVI has contracted a 'joint disease'

written by IN SEINE, 10 November 2011
Rating:

West African black rhino extinct (very sad)!

The West African black rhino is extinct (RIP) the cause is obvious, they weren't "horny" enough!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
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Muslim protestors banned on poppy day as WWII vets turn in their graves!

Muslim protestors who last year burnt the Union Jack in London have been banned. In heaven WWII veterans and heroes could be heard turning in their graves!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Rooney wears poppy in rememberance of what could have been!

Wayne Rooney is sporting his poppy in rememberance of what could have been if he hadn't acted like a bad-tempered mule. The other England players are allowed to wear theirs for a different reason!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Lima battle traffic problems by banning cars and introducing llama taxis!

Lima has such horrendous traffic problems and the city planners have had enough. They are introducing taxis and buses pulled by llama's. Health warnings have been issued "Cuidado taxi bites an spits!"

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Girls and drugs found in Mexican jails causing Homo's to riot!

Girls and drugs have been found in a Mexican jail causing riots led by gay inmates who feel they are being pushed out of their jobs!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

US surfer rides 90ft wave!

A US surfer rode the biggest wave ever recorded, 90ft, then a hungry Great White was waiting for him. Lifeguards are trying to pick up the pieces so he can be entered to the Guinness Book of records!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

EU block Afghan film about imprisoned women!

The EU have decided to block an Afghan film depicting women in prison because it could endanger them. They were all wearing full blown burkhas during filming???

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Energy giant EDF found guillty of spying on Greenpeace!

Energy giant EDF have been found guilty of spying on Greenpeace. Their undercover spy Jeremy Greenfingers was caught red handed whilst pouring olive oil in the Mexican gulf and not over his salad!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Eurozone growth stalled as Merkel announces WWIII

The Eurozone is in turmoil and growth has stalled. German Kanzler Merkel announced "zis vil not do, I vil start WWIII und boot Greece out" England agreed and along with the US invaded Poland today!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Greece has new PM; he's the 301st Spartan!

Greece has appointed an interim PM, the 301st Spartan, the rest were dead so he'll do!

written by Jaggedone, 10 November 2011
Rating:

UK Voting Intention Poll - 10th November 2011

Con's 39%
Labour 40%
Lib Dem's 6%
Others 15%

Seems that the coalition with the Tories was not such a good idea for Nick Clegg?

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Papa Lazarou named as new Greek PM

Hello Dave, give me the money now Dave.

written by flustercluck, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Nearly 400 fake nurses may be working in NHS, it is feared!

Unregistered nurses have been found in 8 of Kent's 288 GP practices, according to data seen by magazine Pulse.

That's equivalent to 380 nurses nationwide.

"I might have come across a few of them!"

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Mouthwash 'Periogard' taken off shelves over health scare!

It is being taken off the shelves of pharmacies, shops, dental surgeries and hospitals.

The bacteria were unlikely to cause harm to healthy people, it said.

"Yes, I've seen it in the Pound shops!"

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Robbers armed with hammer and axe take just one packet of Monster Munch during raid!

Raiders entered the shop in Little Hulton, Manchester, and demanded cash but left empty-handed. Then returned and made off with the crisps.

Would they have been Utd or City fans I wonder?

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Mohamed al Fayed sells Harrods for £1.5billion

World-famous department store Harrods has been sold.

It's been sold by Mohamed al Fayed for £1.5bn the buyer is a member of the Saudi Arabian Qatari royal family.

That is good news for the country?

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Official: Jobless will have to work 30 hours a week for their benefits

Those who refuse to do the compulsory 30-hour-week for no extra cash under the PM's "workfare" plan, will lose their benefits.

Reminds us of Stalin, Hitler, and Mussolini?

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

David Cameron backs Theresa May!

Today, 10 Nov 2011, the Prime Minister said he 'Backed Theresa May all the way on the arguments about the border cuts.

Sounds a bit ominous for her doesn't it?

written by Inchcock, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Fired UPenn Coach Joe Paterno Offered New Job

Will head newly created "Office of Child Sexual Abuse Coverups" Vatican announces.

written by manbrad, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Rohypnol to advertise

"Why give your girlfriend a night she'll never forget, when you can give her one she'll never remember?"

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 November 2011
Rating:

The KFC family bucket

Huge in Norwich

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 November 2011
Rating:

New shock divorce statistic

100% of divorces occur due to marriage

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 November 2011
Rating:

New way of transferring funds faster than electronic banking

Marriage.

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 November 2011
Rating:

And Now Monica Lewinsky May Be Entering The "PizzaGate" Picture

Monica Lewinsky was asked to comment on Herman Cain and his big sexual harassment mess. She smiled and replied, "You know now that you mention it, he does look a little familiar."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain Jokes Are All Over The Place

The American Society of Humor has just announced that Herman Cain jokes have just surpassed knock-knock jokes and are quickly closing in on mother-in-law jokes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Naomi Campbell Feels That Herman Cain Is Prejudiced

Naomi Campbell feels that Herman Cain is a racist since it appears that he only singled out white blonde women and not black women to be inappropriate with.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Jon Huntsman Says He Wants To Just Move On

Jon Huntsman says he wants reporters to stop focusing on Herman Cain and his "PizzaGate" scandal and to ask Newt Gingrich about his remarks where he said that Ron Paul was as old as seawater.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 November 2011
Rating:

CDC rules on dope

Marijuana is declared worlds most dangerous drug by the Centers for Disease Control. In further news Crack-Cocaine is said to have medical uses.

written by 4hours_2minutes_0seconds, 10 November 2011
Rating:

President Who

At a press conference Democratic VP Biden indicated he might run for president in 2016. Reporters asked, president of what?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

The Blame Stops Here

President Obama finally blames himself for the economic mess the US is in. The president then asks American voters to give him four more years to clean up his own mess!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Unions, Environmentalists and Jobs

Trade unions want the 20,000 jobs building the Canada to Texas pipeline. Pres. Obama has been procrastinating for almost 36 months so as not to antagonize his rabid environmentalist supporters!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

We Can't Wait Till November 2012

Greece & Italy are in economic bad shape. Aren't you glad Pres. Obama has the US economy under control via excessive spending, proposed higher taxes & subsidizing failed "green" energy companies!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

The Silence is Deafening

Democratic liberal Revs. Sharpton and Jackson appear to have lost their voices over the sexual harassment innuendo being leveled against Republican conservative presidential candidate Herman Cain!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Proposed Pastry Tax

WH Press Secretary Carney indicated Pres. Obama has decided to sideline a proposed tax on Hamentashen, after it was ridiculed as a fee on Purim. Besides Michelle loves the cute little prune ones!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Cheap Political Trick Exposed

In his Rose Garden speech President Obama has used US veterans as a political reelection campaign prop to chastise Senate Republicans. Regardless, thanks guys and gals for your service!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

I want to be Vice President or a Senator

Maryland's liberal Democratic governor defends President Obama, blaming Bush's recession for all the current economic problems. Hasn't Obama been president for almost three years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Occupy Wannabes are Otherwise Occupied

People who didn't show up at various occupy rallies claim they were too busy, couldn't get a baby sitter, saw it on TV or watched the video but still want to get benefits of freeloading on others!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
Rating:

Better Than Sliced Bread

QUESTION: What's better than sliced bread? ANSWER: A bread slicer that allows customer selection of the thickness of the slices!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 November 2011
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