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Rating:

Gay alien has sex with Men in Black!

An Alien spotted in the Amazon jungle was definitely gay because The Men in Black claim to have had a sex orgy with him and his mates. Hollywood are filming the story called; Deliverance Mark II

written by Jaggedone, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Tory minister Chris ­Grayling tells the jobless to take casual work!

He said taking temporary jobs such as becoming a Christmas ­postman would help "give you an idea of the kind of career you want"

I think he should join his namesakes fish in a deep river!

written by Inchcock, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Law Professor Malcolm Grant put in charge of NHS budget

The Millionaire New Zealander, chosen for the post by Health Secretary Andrew Lansley, has ­revealed: "I don't use the NHS"

Well fancy that!

written by Inchcock, 01 November 2011
Rating:

11 prison officers are being paid to guard a jail with no inmates.

Latchmere House, in Richmond, South West London, was closed last month but staff still work there to provide ­­"security".

No really, it's true!

written by Inchcock, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Jon Huntsman - The Man Who Dares To Make A Very Interesting Promise

Jon Huntsman, campaigning in Long Island, New York, told the crowd if he's elected president he is going to do his very best to make sure that another hurricane never strikes New York state again.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain's Political Ship Has Hit Some Rough Water

Herman Cain was asked about a woman charging him with inappropriate behavior. He refused to answer. After the third time he replied, "Look, da bitch got her damn money, now can we just move on?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Rick Santorum Just Does Not Care For Ron Paul

Rick Santorum said that if it was not for an occasional hiccup, that Ron Paul would have no personality whatsoever.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

So Then Michele Bachmann Is Not Really For The "Fence?"

Michele Bachmann has admitted that she really had no choice, after her entire New Hampshire campaign staff resigned, but to hire three illegal aliens to file away some very important papers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

George Lopez Is Still One Unhappy Camper

George Lopez still extremely angry about his talk show getting cancelled says he may become the director for the Occupy Wall Street Movement in East Los Angeles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain Has Some Advice For Michele Bachmann

Herman Cain said that if Michele Bachmann changed her Loretta Lynn hairdo, learned how to correctly put on makeup, and got rid of her Barbara Walter's lisp that she might not look half bad.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Newt Gingrich Said No To Appearing In A Commercial

Newt Gingrich has angrily turned down an offer from the Pillsbury Company to appear in a commercial where he would portray the adult version of the Pillsbury Doughboy, "Poppin' Fresh."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Another Victim of the Economy

We bring you sad news today that Britain's leading bra manufacturers, Playtex, have gone bust.

written by IN SEINE, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Stationary Lorries Hijacked

A lorry loaded with new box folders was hijacked. Later the same day, another lorry carrying boxes of Post-its was stolen. Police believe that the robberies were the work of organized crime.

written by IN SEINE, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Gaddafi to star in movies

Rumours persist that former Libya President, Muamar Gaddafi, is not dead and has been signed by Hollywood moguls to star in a sleazy semi porn film. The movie is based on the life of Bill Clinton. Oh!

written by whatinthe world, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Just Speak English

After Halloween, San Francisco Onion invites UK spoof writers over for Skittles. Skoob shows up expecting pub games, instead receives a handful of fruit chews with hard candy shells.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain is no token!

When Godfathers slipped from 3rd to 5th in pizza chain ranks, CEO Cain closed 200 outlets and slashed thousands of jobs to increase corporate profits. This is a real Conservative, folks!

written by The San Francisco Onion, 01 November 2011
Rating:

Myopic Eye Doctor

Practicing U.S. Senator and Kentucky opthalmologist Rand Paul unable to see Mason-Dixon line in map of "Right to Work" states.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 01 November 2011
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