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Rating:

Wayne Rooney kidnapped!

2 days before the clash of the giants Wayne Rooney has been kidnapped by Russian speaking, vodka smelling kidnappers. Abramovich denies any connection to the crime, he just supplied the vodka!

written by Jaggedone, 06 May 2011
Rating:

The Pope Does Know His Fish $ense

The Pope says that if everyone, regardless of their religion, would eat fish on Fridays instead of meat they would save thousands of dollars a year on T-Bones, Sirloins, Rib-Eyes, and Fajitas.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Man Gets Everywhere

Even here.

written by Skoob1999, 06 May 2011
Rating:

It Sure Ain't No Male Gene That's For Damn Sure!

President Obama has vetoed a Senate bill that would have spent $2 million to try and figure out why men like Brett Favre, Glenn Beck, and Weeper of The House John Boehner cry so friggin much.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

The Nice Peaceful Town of Margaritaville

Jimmy Buffett says he's just about fully recovered from that injury sustained when he fell off the stage in Australia. The Margaritaville man stated, "Okay, bring on those damn effen hurricanes!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Beverly Hills - The Land of Young-Looking Old Folks

Walmart announces that they are closing their Beverly Hills store because they could not find a 'Greeter' who would admit to being over 80 years old.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

'Clegg just like Bin Laden' says Cameron

Dead in the water.

written by pinxit, 06 May 2011
Rating:

US seven year-old girl pumped up with botox, FAME!

US mums of seven/eight year old girls are pumping then up with botox hoping they will achieve fame, fortune and line their parents bank accounts with millions! Shirley Temple didn't need botox!

written by Jaggedone, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Michelin Starred Chef Admits Defeat

Banana and bacon soup not such a good idea.

written by Skoob1999, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Pippa Middleton Turns Down Nude Calendar Offer

"Why would I want to see more of Katie Price?" she asks.

written by Skoob1999, 06 May 2011
Rating:

7/7 Murders Ruled 'Unlawful Killing'

Which mastermind worked that one out?

written by Skoob1999, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Psychoville Cordoned Off

Too many nutters.

written by Skoob1999, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Congress Agrees on Deficit Reduction Plan

Entire nation will appear on 'Wheel of Fortune.'

written by Michael Balton, 06 May 2011
Rating:

WWOD?

It has been a recent trend for Christians to quote WWJD? As in "What would Jesus do?" This question has been hijacked by jihadists and called WWOD? As in "What would Osama do?"

written by IN SEINE, 06 May 2011
Rating:

How Could Osama Bin Laden Have Resided In Abbottabad Unnoticed By The Pakistani Authorities?

Other long term residents of Abbottabad, including Salman Rushdie and Benjamin Netanyahu, told reporters that they were astounded by this lack of vigilance by the Pakistani Authorities.

written by Swan Morrison, 06 May 2011
Rating:

You Got To Hit Libya and Egypt Where It Hurts - In Their Humps

President Obama is so fed up with all of the ongoing fighting in Libya and Egypt that he has threatened to stop selling both countries Purina Camel Chow.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Sarah "Snowflake" Palin Does Have A Funny Bone That's For Sure

Sarah Palin shocks Russia by stating that Alaska has developed an Atomic Bomb.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Adam Carolla - Have Mouth Will Travel

Comedian Adam Carolla is concerned that his extremely harsh anti-drug cartel remarks may force him to enter into the 'witless protection program' or move to the North Pole.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

Roseanne Barr Does Look A Little Bit Like Tina Fey

Roseanne Barr has signed to appear in the political comedy film Sarah Palin - The Raging Hormone Years.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 May 2011
Rating:

As a Gift to Chroma Key Fans Everywhere...

Osama Bin Laden's bedroom and everything in it was colored green. Odd but true!

written by Adam Click, 06 May 2011
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