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Third Division Footballer takes out Super-Duper-Pooper-Scooper Injunction after pet dog fouls pavement.

A third division footballer has taken out a Super Injuction after his pet dog fouled the pavement. The dog, who cannot be named for beagle reasons..

written by I think I'm funny..., 21 May 2011
Rating:

The end of the world...

Every day IS the end of the world for some poor buggers when you think about it.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Do I need a Deep Clean?

Before removing the clutter from my mind and the mess from my rooms I must decide: Do I really want a Deep Clean? I'm not keen to be clean and there's something important somewhere in my clutter.

written by j.w., 21 May 2011
Rating:

Cycle Path leads to Murder

A cycle path leading to a prison has been the only clue for police looking for the murderer of a trick cyclist.

written by j.w., 21 May 2011
Rating:

Chelsea Flower Show

Tickets are in demand for a show in which Chelsea Clinton is due to appear. She wears only fake flowers.

written by j.w., 21 May 2011
Rating:

Scientists disprove Deja Vu theory

Nobel Prize winning scientist Adrian Birdbrain has conclusively disproved the Deja Vu theory.
Yet again.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Jude's Law

The News of the World is promoting Jude's Law which seeks to defend the public from being hacked by journalists.

written by j.w., 21 May 2011
Rating:

Snooki and The Cast Of 'Jersey Shore' Release Today's Schedule...

Snooki and The Cast Of 'Jersey Shore' Release Today's Schedule. As posted on FakeWOPs.web:

GTL, Rapture.

written by anthonyrosania, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Rooney going into politics

'Why not?' he asked. So true - if Arnie can get away with impersonating a politician for so long, surely a thick scouser has just as much chance.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Rooney 'signs' for Middlesbrough

Poor Wayne thought he was extending his Man. U. contract. His mam wasn't there to read it for him so he will now be playing for The 'Boro. He is desperately trying to get out of this deal.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Rooney's Secret Is Out

He used to be a female shot-putter!

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Victoria's Secret Is Out!

Becks wears one of her thongs every time he steps onto the pitch.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Hens in Ontario are not 'laying' causing egg shortage

Hens can be seen picketing outside Grocery stores across Ontario today carrying tiny signs reading:NO MORE EGGS TILL WE GET SEX. WE NEED THE COCKS. (Using the word ROOSTERS would be less effective.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
Rating:

West Ham target Krays

West Ham have a short list of 2 for the vacant manager's job.
But,unfortunately, Reg and Ronnie Kray are both 'brown bread'.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Coalition Introduces Nipple Tax

In a move that will upset many, the Coalition government has decided to introduce a controversial nipple tax. Nick Clegg said: "We are clamping down on excessive nipple use, we feel two nipples is...

written by Cobblers, 21 May 2011
Rating:

End of the World

The end of the world does not begin on May 21, 2011 but after November 6, 2012 if President Obama is reelected, the Senate remains Democratic and the House again is Democratic!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Ronald McDonald Doll

McDonald's introduces a new toy with their "Happy Meal" just for the food police. It is a miniature Ronald McDonald voodoo doll that can be stuck with French Fries!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Measuring Success

President Obama's Mid-East speech was a great Democratic Party success. The president managed to piss-off the Israelis and the Arabs participating in various protests!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Peace in Our Time

LONE RANGER: British PM Chamberlin (1938) is to Czechoslovak as President Obama is to Israel (2011)? TONTO: Kimosabe, I sure hope not!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

A Real Stretch

A bus crashed into a Maryland KFC Restaurant, but no serious injuries were reported. However, the food police issued a statement that "this proves fast food is a health hazard!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Good Question

If Osama bin Laden's diary indicates that Iran was in some manner involved in the September 11, 2001 attacks on the USA, what will President Obama do?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

New Data

OBL's diary indicates that an al-Qaeda splinter group planned attacks on sewers/septic systems in western countries. They had to give it up, as there were none to practice on in their village!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 May 2011
Rating:

Shit! We are still all here.

I cannot believe it. We are still all here. I thought the world was supposed to end today. I didn't shower or shave.
Bloody hell, this just goes to prove 'YOU CANNOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOUN READ'.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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