Ken Clarke arrested for 'indecent act' on radio
"I was only shooting from the hip" says misunderstood Ken.
written by pinxit
, 19 May 2011
Hawking Writes a New Fairy Story
Prof. Stephen Hawking has written a new fairy story which has striking similarities to the Bible. God is not amused and is going to sue him for copyright violations. "Hawking is a plagiarist" he said.
"I'm Against Corporate America" says Hipster Walking Into Best Buy
AUSTIN, TX - [more as it comes in, but won't because no-one gives a damn about smelly hipsters]
Latest Twitter Released from Donald Trump
NEW YORK - Donald Trump has tweeted: "Not running for prez becoz am about to run into angry Triad members who I owe money 2. Laters Twittersphere."
"Twit" Rooney stalked by another "Twit"; a Scouse Loony!
Wayne Rooney is attracting some pretty weird nutters to his twitter site; a Liverpool fan has threatened to punch Rooney;s lights out! Ex-Boxer Rooney has promised to put him to sleep, Scouser Twits!!
Are They Telling Us the Truth?
Osama Bin Laden has apparently sent a message from the grave. Considering that he has been dead for the past 8 years, we should be surprised that he has time, what with all those virgins to play with!
Change To UK Defamation Laws Affect Satire Writers
According to some UK satire websites, anthropomorphized, fictional characters are afforded protection against defamation. "We're not sure, because the law uses big words, so we'll play it safe."
World's number one rapist seduces judge
Convinces her to let him go after tells her "Quel beau c...l !" That plus a million dollars, a five hundred pound ball and chain: as long as he goes back to his cell.
Lennon Lyrics Sell For £145,000
John Lennon's hand written lyrics for "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" have sold for £145,000 in an auction in New York.
So it was all about LSD then.
written by grimbo
, 19 May 2011
Hollywood is producing a new movie
Pigs on a plane. The movie will be produced by the IMF.
Atheist just cannot sin.
It is true. Atheists just cannot sin. Only religious folk believe in SIN. That doesn't mean atheists are all evil. They just have morals and comment sense.
Gosh, There Went About 20 Minutes of Material
When Donald Trump announced that he would not be running for president thousands and thousands of stand up comedians stood up and yelled out a collective "Dammit!!!"
Where The Neck Did That Side of Ham Go?
Kirstie Alley has said that one of the ways that she has been able to lose so much weight is by simply removing the light bulb in her refrigerator.
But Isn't That How Nazi Germany Kinda Got Started?
In a move that many are calling strange as hell and probably illegal, the state of Arizona has announced that it will not allow any Democratic candidates to campaign within its borders.
The Damn Good Reason Why Donald Trump Just Said "No"
Donald Trump decided not to run for president after his doctor informed him that the stress could cause him to end up looking like Gary Busey.
America Not Discovered In 1492 By Columbus
It was already there.
Cripple Story Keeps On Running.
This one has legs...
Martin Shuttlecock Celebrates Wedding Anniversary!
Could Romance Be On The Cards For You?
Depends if you're playing with a full deck.
Solving the Federal Spending Problem
Republican presidential candidate Rep. Paul (R-TX) said he would sell Washington DC to anyone who can put up $15 trillion in cash!
More about Coffee
This week's coffee study indicates the more men drink the stuff, the lower their risk of prostate cancer. However, the results for women are being withheld due to national security concerns!
Fear Monger in Chief
Obama administration warns of global financial chaos if lawmakers do not increase the current debt limit of $14.3 trillion. Translation, they need more money to spend on frivolous Democratic programs!
Drat, Double Drat
Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich was politically injured today when he accidentally shot himself in the foot at a tea party!
Debt Limit Negotiations
Secretary of the Treasury Geithner is certain that increasing taxes on wealthy Americans earning over $50,000 will be necessary as part of raising the debt limit and increasing Democratic spending.
You Want Fries With That?
The food police want MacDonald's to eliminate Ronald MacDonald as he supposedly sends a bad message to children about food choices. The issue was discussed during a dinner meeting held at Burger King!
Another History Lesson
Senate defeats eliminating subsidies to oil companies & renewing offshore drilling. President Obama fiddles with speeding up domestic drilling permits. Does this sound like an ancient history lesson?
EPA reconsiders and delays their mercury emissions regulations based on White House considerations. President Obama reconsiders his reelection chances if 800,000 jobs are lost!