IMF Abbreviation Clarified
Its short for "I Merely Fondle"
written by grimbo
, 16 May 2011
This is number 666 snippet, f**k in hell!
A milestone was achieved by devil-worshipping Spoofer, Jaggedone, he's hit this superb snippet for a 666, see you all in hell!
Pittsburg Steeler Cuts His Hair
Troy Polamala of the Pittsburg Steelers decides to spend his time during the lockout in the barber shop cutting his hair.
US stripper, Chelsea, has boobs heavier than Mrs. Beckham!
A US stripper, Chelsea, has boobs that weigh more then Victoria Beckham in total and after seeing them on the morning TV show Victoria rushed off to the toilet and puked, what an excuse!?
Nicole Kidman - It's Gotta Be In The Genes
Nicole Kidman is starting to get very concerned about the paleness of her complexion. Several critics have stated that she is starting to look even whiter than Michael Jackson.
Nothing Like Keeping It In The Family
Tina Fey who has been impersonating Sarah Palin for several years now said that she is branching out. She soon plans to unveil her impersonations of Bristol Palin, Todd Palin, and Piper Palin.
The Little Fella Can Sure Put The Food Away
Victoria Beckham keeps insisting that she is not anorexic. She adds that her weight loss is due to one hell of a tape worm.
Poland Will Not Be Fooled
Poland bans double-sided stick tape by saying that it is just simply a bad American joke.
Todd Palin Lays Down The Law To His "Snowflake"
Todd Palin tired of Sarah wearing the pants in the family tells her to start wearing effen dresses more often or else he's walking out the friggin door.
Broadway Announces Newest Musical
Seal Team Six: The Musical is set to start in a month. It will star Matthew Broderick as the main Navy Seal, and Nathan Lane as Osama Bin Laden.
A French Kiss by France's Presidential hopeful socialist millionaire Alexandre Loadsamoney has boosted his chances of getting the job.
Burlysconi fears he has a rival who can defeat him.
written by j.w.
, 16 May 2011
"Points Make Prizes"
Energy Sec, Chris Huhne is alleged to have said to his wife that there is a new scheme where you can collect points on your driving licence and win prizes and that he was happy to help by giving her some of his.
The Cluck Clucking Has Turned More To Cluck Ouching!
An Iowa farmer has developed chickens that can lay square eggs. He said they're great cause the eggs can be stacked in the refrigerator but added that it has traumatized the hell out of his chickens.
I.M.F. to launch an S.D.R. alternative to the USD
Not Special Drawing Rights, Sexual Deviant Rights!
Snap, Crackle, & Hic!
A man in Flint, Michigan applied for a U.S. patent on his invention which is beer-flavored breakfast cereal. He was not only turned down but fined $2,000.
But It's Really Just About Safe Football
An on campus group calling itself "Hey Come On" is petitioning the University of Southern California to change its mascot nickname from the condom-sounding name Trojans.
Well So Much For Those Wonderful Hip Hop Concerts In Yuma
Saying that it was done in a move to cut down on noise pollution, the state of Arizona has passed a bill prohibiting anyone in the state from wearing bling-bling.
When Two Differing Food Groups Meet It Can Get Ugly
A group of Wisconsin cheeseheads reportedly clashed with a group of Georgia crackerheads and early reports are that the incident was nothing but a crummy, cheesy display of hoodlum like behavior.
A Happy Meal and A Barbie Doll?
Police arrested a man in Boston in the parking lot of a Mickey D's who was selling nude Barbie Dolls. He pointed out the dolls were not completely naked as each one was wearing stiletto heels.
Capitol Restaurant Busted
An underground Washington DC restaurant specializing in animals found on the endangered species list (ESL) has been shut down by the Fish and Wildlife Service. The FBI is examining the diner's lists.
Mythical Boogie Man
Mommies Against Delusional Democrats (MADD) has sued the US Government and all environmental groups over global warming hysteria. They claim the mythical GW boogie man is scaring their children.
Future Ohio Chickens Will Be Happy Little Cluckers
Ohio passed a bill outlawing the branding of chickens. Senators stated that it was really pretty much just a waste of time and besides way too many chickens were catching on fire during the branding.
A Sarah Palin Rose By Any Other Name
Sarah Palin denies that her political party the Tea Bag Party is a party of haters. She smiles and says, "Ya know, it's really more like a party of dislikers".
Lindsay Lohan Is Most Definitely One Lucky Ass Bitch
Lindsay Lohan says she's going to write a book on how easy it is to stay out of jail assuming of course one is a rich, Hollywood celebrity who has some kind of magical powers over mere mortal judges.
Buy Me Some Popcorn and Cracker Jack and Cheap Beer?
Due to the fact it has caused a tremendous amount of fights, the Detroit Tigers organization has decided to stop selling cheap beer at all Tigers games. The more expensive beer will still be sold.