There were 740 spoof news snippets published in May 2011. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Sacramento California Has New Tourism Campaign

In order to capitalize on both their extensive sports activities and indiginous gay community, Sacramento released their new ad campaign "Sacramento - Where Men Are Men, And So Are Half The Women!"

written by Pariah, 07 May 2011
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Al-Quida Takes Over FOX Television Network

In a very hostile takeover, Al-Quida has taken over the major network. Some classic programs to show will be "My Three Guns", "I Dream of Jihad" and the popular soap "Allah My Children"

written by Pariah, 08 May 2011
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Nebraska To Quit Playing Football

After getting their asses kicked by real teams in the Big 12, Nebraska fled to a wimpy conference only to get pounded again. "We want our mommies!" many Cornholers were crying from the locker rooms.

written by Pariah, 07 May 2011
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Fozzi Bear Sues Shakira For Stealing Lyrics

Fozzi Bear, mediocre comedian from the Muppet Show and pooper in the woods, is suing bodacious babe Shakira over her supposed use of his trademark line "Waka Waka" in her hit single of that name.

written by Pariah, 07 May 2011
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A.A. Milne and Ang Lee Collaborate on Martial Arts Film

Crouching Tigger, Hidden Pooh will be released this summer in movie theaters worldwide. Yun-Fat Chow plays Pooh, Jackie Chan is Tigger and Jet Li plays Rabbit in this classic martial arts adventure.

written by Pariah, 08 May 2011
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Woman Gives Birth On International Date Line

A woman on a flight from Seattle to Tokyo gave birth to twins. One was born just east of the date line, the second just west - Resulting in the second child's birth the day before the first child's.

written by Pariah, 10 May 2011
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Lady Accuses Pillsbury Doughboy of Rape

The giggly little guy is no longer laughing now that fingers are pointing accusatorily rather than tickling. In addition to rape the lady also claims his erection gave her a yeast infection.

written by Pariah, 10 May 2011
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World's Most Effective Diet Plan

Eat all you want of whatever you want, whenever you want it - and still lose weight! All you have to do is eat it while watching obese elderly women doing jumping jacks in the nude.

written by Pariah, 10 May 2011
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New Sequel To the Men Are From Mars Series

For pre-pubescents who are just learning about sex and body differences comes a brand new pop-up book, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Women Have Vaginas And Men Have A Penis."

written by Pariah, 10 May 2011
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Fetus Impregnates Mom With His Own Twin

In the new record for pre-mature ejaculation, a zygote came and inadvertently impregnated his mother with a baby only days younger than himself. Authorities plan to try him as a minor once he's born.

written by Pariah, 10 May 2011
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Pixar Against Drunks Masturbating In Public

Pixar, creaters of Toy Story has announced they're tired of drunks masterbating in public. To address this concern they are promoting their new slogan "Don't play with Woody when you have a Buzz."

written by Pariah, 11 May 2011
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Is Kate Middleton Really Laura Branigan?

They look stunningly alike and Laura's death was not long before William and Kate started dating. Could the singer's death be a cover, allowing for a royal to marry a common musician?

written by Pariah, 11 May 2011
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GMO Corn Has Surprising Effect On Nebraskans

After many years of growing and eating Monsanto's genetically modified corn, many Nebraskan males are finding their penis turned into a corn cob and their testicles becoming popcorn balls.

written by Pariah, 11 May 2011
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Lady Gaga Has Wardrobe Malfunction

During a concert at a mall in Montana, Lady Gaga's outfit ripped open, leaving her naked in front of dozens of people. She noted "I din't get one wolf whistle and half the crowd went home sick."

written by Pariah, 11 May 2011
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Imogen Thomas Anagram

is believe it or not 'a smooth minge'

written by Rebel Not Taken, 24 May 2011
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Millwall fan gets the hump.

I was having the football banter with a Millwall fan the other day.
He came out with the usual bollocks "no one likes us, we don't care".
I said "I like you".
That shut the cunt up!

written by Rebel Not Taken, 14 May 2011
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Legal ban on twits.

A High Court judge has issued an injunction which bans twits from talking.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 14 May 2011
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A hard act to follow!

Britain's Got Talent TV show on Saturday includes 'man of rubber' act who turns himself completely inside out while playing a harmonica!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 18 May 2011
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Dwarf tossing at FA cup Final..

FA bigwigs will break with tradition at tomorrow's Cup Final.The National Anthem will be replaced by long throw specialist Rory Delap hurling Carlos Tevez from the touchline into a crowded goalmouth.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 13 May 2011
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Blackburn manager celebrates!

Blackburn are desperate for points to avoid relegation,but now that their manager, Steve Kean,has been charged with drink driving they should have enough to qualify for Europe.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 17 May 2011
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Al-Quida To Hold Bake Sale To Fund Terror

After losing their main sponsor, the terror organization has taken to selling home-made food to raise money. On street corners you can see them holding signs reading "Do Not Bum Us, Buy Our Hummus!"

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Cannibalistic Vegetarians On The Loose

A group of vegetarians broke into the London Hospital coma wing last night and ate most of the patients. One was caught and confessed that while they were eating people, they only ate the vegetables.

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Monopoly Money Counterfeiters Arrested

The crooks were caught printing fake monopoly money in an effort to put a hotel on Park Place. The court sentenced them to "go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200."

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Who's To Blame For The California Earthquakes?

It's not the people's fault. It's not the government's fault. It's the San Andreas Fault.

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Man Kills His Own Siamese Twin

Police don't know whether to charge for murder, suicide (or attempted). The insurance company is not sure whether to pay as a death or dismemberment, or to whom as the killer was the beneficiary.

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Welsh footballer named

The Sun can today reveal that the footballer involved in the superinjunction scandal is Ivor Bigun.
More as it comes in (no pun intended).

written by Rebel Not Taken, 23 May 2011
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Pony Tale!

The reason for why a man could not buy a train ticket for his pony at Wrexham Station - The Pony Express does not stop at Wrexham Station!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 18 May 2011
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Rooney's Secret Is Out

He used to be a female shot-putter!

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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Scientists disprove Deja Vu theory

Nobel Prize winning scientist Adrian Birdbrain has conclusively disproved the Deja Vu theory.
Yet again.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 21 May 2011
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Dannii Accuses Kylie of Lying About Her

Dannii Minogue has turned on her sister Kylie. In the song "the Locomotion", Kylie claims her little baby sister can do it with ease. "I can't really. It's friggin difficult!", Dannii remarked.

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Bottles Of Juergens Extra Dry Body Lotion Tainted

Disgruntled male employees filled over 2000 bottles with their own semen. They were so chapped by the time they were done, that they considered renaming the product Jerkin Extra Dry.

written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
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Victoria's Secret Is Out!

Becks wears one of her thongs every time he steps onto the pitch.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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Attention all twits

#ifyoubelieveeverythingyoureadontwitteryouareafuckingtwat

written by Rebel Not Taken, 18 May 2011
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Chelsea's name is on the cup again this year..

FA..which is what they have won!

written by Rebel Not Taken, 13 May 2011
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Rooney going into politics

'Why not?' he asked. So true - if Arnie can get away with impersonating a politician for so long, surely a thick scouser has just as much chance.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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QPR 2,500 to 1 to win premiership next season

QPR are 2500 to 1 to win the premiership next season.
To those of you who do not understand betting..
if you bet £10...you lose £10.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 12 May 2011
Rating:

Alan Shearer waxwork dummy.

Madame Tussaud's waxwork dummy Alan Shearer came face to face with Match of the Day pundit and ex England footballer Alan Shearer today: "The likeness is incredible" claimed the waxwork dummy.



written by Rebel Not Taken, 18 May 2011
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The law is an ass.

The lord chief justice is called Lord Judge.
You couldn't make it up!

written by Rebel Not Taken, 22 May 2011
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Iran eye opener!

A holiday maker just back from Tehran has left a positive review on the Trip Advisor website.."Did loads of acid and had a blinding time"

written by Rebel Not Taken, 15 May 2011
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Congress Agrees on Deficit Reduction Plan

Entire nation will appear on 'Wheel of Fortune.'

written by Michael Balton, 06 May 2011
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Silence is Coleden!

The US makers of X Factor are now saying Cheryl Cole CAN be one of their panel of judges. However, she will have to smile or frown her views about each act as this would be a non-speaking position.

written by Tommy Twinkle, 28 May 2011
Rating:

Wet Spam desperate to recruit new manager


An old lady carrying shopping bags in Barking High St was asked by passing Wet Spam owner David Sullivan "can you manage love"?
She replied "do one you Toby, I don't want the job"


written by Rebel Not Taken, 18 May 2011
Rating:

West Ham target Krays

West Ham have a short list of 2 for the vacant manager's job.
But,unfortunately, Reg and Ronnie Kray are both 'brown bread'.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 21 May 2011
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IMF demands Greece pay tribute

"We want all your crack, booze, and especially all your good-looking women. We want them on the dock, dressed in maid uniforms and ready to ship out by noon.", according to the head.

written by Aspartame Boy, 23 May 2011
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Rooney 'signs' for Middlesbrough

Poor Wayne thought he was extending his Man. U. contract. His mam wasn't there to read it for him so he will now be playing for The 'Boro. He is desperately trying to get out of this deal.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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Celebrations in Manchester

There is a joyous and triumphant celebration party by Manchester City fans tonight in the city centre.
The FA Cup victory parade originally planned for today has been postponed till next week.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 23 May 2011
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Ryan Giggs Anonymous

Manchester United star not involved in game against Blackpool.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 22 May 2011
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Carlo Ancelotti given tin tac by Chelski

That has raised a few eyebrows!

written by Rebel Not Taken, 23 May 2011
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Arnold's comment when asked about his 'broken marriage'

"I'll be baaack!"

written by Lady Godiva, 11 May 2011
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Spoof Site struggling

The Spoof is suffering from a diminished number of readers. It is believed that this is because more FEMALE writers are needed. REAL women. Not 'fake' ones. Come on ladies....get writing.

written by Lady Godiva, 07 May 2011
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Hens in Ontario are not 'laying' causing egg shortage

Hens can be seen picketing outside Grocery stores across Ontario today carrying tiny signs reading:NO MORE EGGS TILL WE GET SEX. WE NEED THE COCKS. (Using the word ROOSTERS would be less effective.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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President Obama Is to Change His Name!

In a bid for authenticity, Barack Obama claims that there is an apostrophe missing from his name linking him to being of Irish descent. He would like to be known from now on as "Barack Hussein O'Bama.

written by IN SEINE, 23 May 2011
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Holy Shit!

Surely this can ONLY come from he Pope himself.

written by Lady Godiva, 28 May 2011
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Hamburger Helper Hand Gives Folks The Finger

Many people were upset at the gesture. According to the Hand, "My fingers are my hair and I just came in from the rain. Can I help it if my cowlick stood up?"

written by Pariah, 13 May 2011
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Miramax To Release The Movie The Crying Game 2

The long awaited sequel is destined to hit theaters this Summer. The movie stars William and Kate and was filmed live in the royal honeymoon suite.

written by Pariah, 13 May 2011
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Insurers Add Divorce Clause to Royal Auto Coverage

After the accident that killed Diana, the auto insurance company that covers the autos owned by Camilla and Kate have added a divorce clause that raises rates twenty fold if the royals divorce.

written by Pariah, 13 May 2011
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Barney And Friends To Perform At Jurassic Park

After several people were eaten on the island, Barney the Dinosaur has stepped forward to try to make peace with the rampaging dinos. "I'll tell them I love you and I'm sure they'll love me too."

written by Pariah, 13 May 2011
Rating:

Late Pope Beatified In Vatican City

"Thought he would have been on time for that!" Said an observer.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 May 2011
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Administrators needed for The Spoof

Mark is looking for new Administrators to assist him on the Spoof. Requirements? Honesty, kindness, confidence in oneself as a writer, empathy (look it up in the dictionary).
Also - selflesness.

written by Lady Godiva, 07 May 2011
Rating:

Spoof Writers' Tongue Twister

Try saying this six times quickly:

If a Spoof Writer could Spoof Spoofs how many Spoofs could Spoof Writer Spoof if a Spoof Writer could Spoof Spoofs (without reading it that is).

written by Lady Godiva, 13 May 2011
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Why do? #5

Why DO Canadians spell TYRE TIRE when they are supposed to use TRUE ENGLISH spellings? I just don't get it.

written by Lady Godiva, 04 May 2011
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Atheist just cannot sin.

It is true. Atheists just cannot sin. Only religious folk believe in SIN. That doesn't mean atheists are all evil. They just have morals and comment sense.

written by Lady Godiva, 19 May 2011
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The end of the world...

Every day IS the end of the world for some poor buggers when you think about it.

written by Lady Godiva, 21 May 2011
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Heterosexual man takes out Super-Trouper Injunction after secret Abba Collection is discovered

A straight man has taken out a Super-Trouper Injunction after his secret stash of Abba CDs were uncovered by his wife. The man who cannot be named for Swedish reasons...

written by I think I'm funny..., 22 May 2011
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Many Thousands of Lawyers to Be Made Redundant

Following the failure of the super injunction, many lawyers cannot find any work and will face years of hardship!

SAD!

written by IN SEINE, 23 May 2011
Rating:

TV Nutritionist takes out Super-Noodle Injunction after secret stash of junk food snacks discovered

A well known TV Nutritionist has taken out a Super-Noodle Injunction after a secret hoard of junk food snacks were discovered under her bed, the Nutritionist who cannot be named for bagel reasons..

written by I think I'm funny..., 24 May 2011
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Pippa's bum shaped cake to be centrepiece at QPR celebration

Pippa's the party planner for the QPR celebration 'do'. One request - a caked shaped like her bum so all the players 'get a piece'. See related story.

written by Lady Godiva, 14 May 2011
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Is Eurovision Song Contest Around the Corner?

I'm just wondering if the Eurovision Song Contest is around the corner because there are lots of 'spoofs' written about it lately. We don't hear about it in Canada. Aren't WE the lucky ones?

written by Lady Godiva, 15 May 2011
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Why do? #2

Why do Canadians/Americans say 'tomato' and we Brits say 'tomato'?

written by Lady Godiva, 04 May 2011
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What is 'Teeth, tits and taps'?

Lady Godiva's very least favourite line when starring as 'Mavis' in an amateur production of "Steppin' Out".

written by Lady Godiva, 15 May 2011
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Prince Harry Terror Threat

'I'll get him' says Pippa.

written by pinxit, 08 May 2011
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Super Injunction

This breaking news has been censored due to a super injunction.

written by IainB, 09 May 2011
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Lady Godiva's Ghost Writer search is over

Lady Godiva has found the perfect Ghost Writer, Sugar East. Sugar will be writing some of LG's stories whilst LG spends more time concentrating on getting her 'Private Dick Agency' up and running.

written by Lady Godiva, 10 May 2011
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BB's Imogen Thomas To Launch Pop Career

Possible contract on cards after successfully doing gigs several times in Manchester.

written by Nick Hobbs, 23 May 2011
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Berlusconi Trial Halted - TEMPORARILY

The trial of Silvio Berlusconi was halted today as half the Jury had fled from Rome because an earthquake had been predicted there since 1915. The trial will resume tomorrow if there's no earthquake!

written by IN SEINE, 11 May 2011
Rating:

Celebrity Gardener, Alan Titchmarsh, Claims Talking to Plants Is Useless

So-called gardening expert, Alan Titchmarsh asserts that talking to plants is rubbish. Obviously, he cannot speak PLANTONESE

written by IN SEINE, 31 May 2011
Rating:

Chelsea FC - Drogba

Well, Drogba can't be accused of getting his KNICKERS in a twist as a result of the signing of Torres, because a related story here at the Spoof has Drogba admitting he doesn't like wearing underwear.

written by Lady Godiva, 13 May 2011
Rating:

Mrs Bin Laden Is Hopping Mad!

The wife of Osama Bin Laden is reported to be hopping mad because the Americans are claiming that she was killed in the raid, instead of being shot in the leg.

written by IN SEINE, 03 May 2011
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Who The Hell Is Pippa Middleton

A study conducted in the USA shows Americans have no clue who Pippa Middleton is, The few folks who thought they knew who she was when asked to describe her, described Pippi Longstocking instead.

written by Pariah, 14 May 2011
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Dead Or Alive To Advertise Rotisserie Machine

The 80's band will be using their most popular hit to sell these cooking devices. The commercials will play the song with mildly different lyrics of "You Spin Meat Right Round Baby Right Round."

written by Pariah, 14 May 2011
Rating:

Why do? #1

Why do Canadians/Americans say such things as, "My dog went to the bathroom on your lawn," when they really mean, "My dog shit on your grass?"

written by Lady Godiva, 04 May 2011
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Why do? #3

Why do Canadians/Americans avoid saying the word TOILET? Why do they consider it to be a 'dirty' word. Why?

written by Lady Godiva, 04 May 2011
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Why do? #3

Why do Canadians/Americans avoid saying the word TOILET? Why do they consider it to be a 'dirty' word. Why?

written by Lady Godiva, 04 May 2011
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I'm feeling sick about the unrest in he world

Spoof writers unite. Surely we can do something POSITIVE to benefit suffering people around the world. Any suggestions?

written by Lady Godiva, 07 May 2011
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Abbotabad Villagers Claim That Film Is a Fake!

The villagers in Abbotabad where Bin Laden was supposed to have been killed last week claim the film is a fake. One of them said: "This is Abbotabad as it gets!"

written by IN SEINE, 09 May 2011
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Spoofwriter Denies Revealing Super-Injunction Celebrities in Order to Gain 34,000 Thumbs up!

The spoof writer In Seine has today denied trying to reveal a number of celebrities who have taken out super-injunctions in order to gain 34,000 thumbs up. "You can but try!" he said.

written by IN SEINE, 09 May 2011
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Mechaphile Meeting

A group of 500 Mechaphiliacs - people who love motor cars are to have a meeting - guess what they are going to call it? A RALLY!

written by IN SEINE, 20 May 2011
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New EU Health Warning

The European Union have issued an emergency health warning: 'CUCUMBERS CAN KILL'

written by IN SEINE, 31 May 2011
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The Real Reason Why Bin Laden Buried At Sea

Apparently, his last wish was for the Americans to dance on his grave.

written by IN SEINE, 02 May 2011
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Four Flee Fire in Bournemouth Barber Shop Blaze

4 men managed to evacuate a barber's shop in Bournemouth today when a fire broke out. A fire service spokesman said that it was a close shave, but everyone got out by a whisker!

written by IN SEINE, 31 May 2011
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The Last Time Osama Bin Laden Was Shot!

… Way back in 2001, the Al Qaeda commander received a shot of insulin for diabetes - from which he died at that time. From then on all the appearances have been made by lookalikes!

written by IN SEINE, 04 May 2011
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Giuliani Teams with Trump

Former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and real estate mogul Donald Trump are developing a political puppet show together... "Trump and Rudy"

written by Michael Balton, 30 May 2011
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Hardened Criminal

Reports just in say that several bottles of Avena syrup were found in Osama Bin Laden's hideout. A type of herbal Viagra, it was used to make him look like a hardened criminal - very frightening!

written by IN SEINE, 09 May 2011
Rating:

Apocalypse Already Happening: People Are Frightened!

Harold Camping, the American who claims the end of the world is nigh could may be right. Already people have lost contact with Australia and New Zealand - they are scared. It could be atmospherics.

written by IN SEINE, 20 May 2011
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So Farewell, Gil Scott-Heron

They are televising revolutions now, it seems.

Still a good song though. Thanks.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 28 May 2011
Rating:

In Milton Keynes Today…

A fire crew was called on to rescue a snail that was 'stuck' up a brick wall. Fire Service Spokesman, Les Cargo said the snail was placed on top of the wall from where a Thrush scooped it for a meal.

written by IN SEINE, 28 May 2011
Rating:

I'm Spartacus!

After Twitter disclosed 'Sparticus' as the user who divulged the name of the footballer who had placed a super injunction on not being named, so several million users confessed to being Spartacus!

written by IN SEINE, 23 May 2011
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To Become an Annual Event

Having been pronounced dead in 2002, 2005, 2008 and today, it has been decided to make it an annual event!

written by IN SEINE, 02 May 2011
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Good Catholics

It was good to see Robert Mugabe attending the beatification of Pope John Paul II, however, Tony Blair was not in the crowd. Perhaps he thought that he was not saintly enough!

written by IN SEINE, 04 May 2011
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Exorcisms Warning

Exorcists must remind their customers, that they have to pay their bill, or their house will be repossessed.

written by IainB, 04 May 2011
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