Ambitious Kid Goes Too Far in Business Venture
A nine year-old boy was placed into juvenile custody for serving alcohol to minors when he was caught spiking the lemonade sold at his stand with vodka. "That's the way Daddy makes it," he reasoned.
Utter Confusion for Hounds and Spectators Alike at Houston Dog Track
A greyhound race in Houston collapses into mayhem when a cat capers onto the track in front of the field of eight dogs, diverting them off course and into a gallery of shocked spectators. Cat escaped.
College Student Learns How Scholarship Program Works
A white college student overdid it at the tanning salon and was offered a minority scholarship based on how dark she got. When the tan wore off, the university revoked it, sending the poor girl home.
Double Amputee Avoids Potential Mugging With Secret Weapon
A man with both legs amputated turned the tables on a mugger who thought he would be easy prey. The man hopped around on his left prosthetic leg while knocking out the crook's teeth with right one.
The Brand New Sarah Palin Rifle
Sarah Palin has just announced that she will be manufacturing her very own hunting rifle which she is calling The Sarah Palin Geographical Crosshairs High Powered Telescopic You Betcha Gotcha Rifle.
How In The World Did You Get Toothpaste In Your Ear?
A dentist recently saw a patient who has several teeth growing in his left ear. He said the 97-year-old man doesn't have any cavities, but that his teeth do have one hell of a wax build up.
The Most Amazing Canary In The History Of Birds
Scientific explorers have discovered a canary weighing 900 pounds living up on the North Pole. They are trying to find a way to keep it from singing because when it does it causes avalanches.
The Horrible Results of Joan Rivers Accidental Collagen Pill Swallowing
Joan Rivers accidentally ingested three collagen pills and now she has a tongue the size of Naomi "The Queen of Mean" Campbell's ego.
Kim Kardashian Disproves The Butt Rumor
Kim Kardashian has disproved the rumor that her left butt cheek is bigger than her right butt cheek. Kimmy stated that she had just slept wrong that's all.
Wal+Mart ignore women and even prefer transvestites!
Women employees are suing Wal+mart because of sexual discrimination. Wal+Mart prefer men, gay men, lesbians and even transvestites before they consider hetero women as managers, it's a baby thing!
Japan's school childrens grades plummet.
It seems all the school children in Japan have claimed they lost their homework in the earthquake and following tsunami.
Fox Flack Flaunts "Fact-Free" Format
Murdoch: "Facts are too expensive to gather and confuse our audience." New motto: "We decide, then deride."
Spoof Writer Suffers from Literary Constipation
It used to be called 'writers block'. Spoof writer, in Seine has been officially diagnosed with literary constipation.It means that he has not written any spoof news stories for several months now!
Harry has Arctic Leak
Prince Harry has gone to the Arctic. An urgent need for a leak left Harry's prick with a long icicle falling to the ground. A pisser by from Wales claimed the leek tasted terrible.
written by j.w.
, 29 March 2011
Achmed bin Moses demands that Syrian President Assad "let my people go!"
Politics as Usual
An Obama administration HHS study suggests the size of a person's arse determines their political party choice. TSA airport screeners are tasked to verify this conclusion, via a hands-on approach!
Election 2012 is upon Us
First lady Michelle Obama blames former President George W Bush for childhood obesity in the USA. Wonder where she got that notion?
US House & Senate committees are holding hearings to determine if radicalization of moderate Democrats becoming Independents, conservative Republicans &Tea Party members was caused by President Obama!
Two Edged Sword
Rabid environmentalists claim Japanese nuclear plants have caused high levels of radiation. If this is correct, than these people will be sterile & our grand children will be spared further annoyance!
Man. United The most hated company!!
In other obvious news today - Oranges are not the only fruit, it won't get better if you keep on picking it and it does you good to laugh sometimes.