Carlos Tevez is not ugly, he claims!
Man City superstar, Carlos Tevez, is not ugly he claims and is about to prove it by suing an Argentinian TV show who claims the opposite. Tevez doesn't possess mirrors either!
Super-injunction prevents anyone calling Fred Goodwin a '*anker'
But doesn't restrain us referring to him as a 'Thi*ving, gr*edy b*st*rd cu*t'.
[Oh yes it does. Sorry. Ed]
written by pinxit
, 11 March 2011
Writers' Block Pandemic!
A pandemic of Writer's Block has swept across the land today with.......................nope, got nothing. Sorry.
Fields Of Goldfish.
It's been revealed today that goldfish can only remember things for approximately ten to fifteen seconds. In other news, godfish can only remember things for ten to fifteen seconds.
what's it all about then?
Tonight, I'll be asking; The Hokey Cokey, what if it really IS what its all about?
Arsenal Fan Wishes Spurs All The Best In CL Quest.
Dung Beetle Diet Slammed
"They don't get five a day," claims nutritionist.
More Misery For Commuters
They'll still have to catch trains.
A Guide For Stand-Up Comedians
It helps to arrive at the correct venue.
Cure For Travel Sickness Announced!
"Pointless, unless you're in trouble," says feminist.
Sewage worker quits
Says: "It was a crappy job anyway."
Very Unintended Consequences
San Francisco CA's new low pressure/low water toilets cause sewer lines to back up in the city. The mayor says s**t, s**t, s**t!
Is the truth out there?
News comes to this desk today that giant rocks crash into the country every day but the government hushes it up. Also, why aliens sorted out my garden shed for me, and Wayne Rooney. Why?