Order by:
Rating:

Small North London Football Club Can't Believe Their Luck!

Local paper headline says 'Rooney Signs Up For New Barnet'.

written by pinxit, 06 June 2011
Rating:

British Get Taken....for fools?

Police abandon investigation re. TV talent show as they suspect publicity stunt. No convincing reason offered yet about how the makers of a show with millions of viewers could gain from such a stunt!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Royal Wedding dress to go on display

Kate Middleton's wedding dress will be displayed at Buckingham Palace this November. The delay is due to some "particularly stubborn stains", said one exhausted royal washing-woman.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 06 June 2011
Rating:

9.2 earthquake hits Bradford

Councillors comment on the huge improvement.

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Paul Scholes' greatest goals now on DVD

Look out for "Paul's Goals".

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Manchester United have extended Michael Owen's contract

They stapled a bit of paper at the bottom saying he's shit.

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Gravity

Scientist say that it's bringing weight to the masses.

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

For Those Who Baldly Go…

Foul-mouthed footballer, Wayne Rooney has had a hair transplant with Kevin Keegan in the hopes that he will be able to score more goals next season. It is expected to be a permanent fixture.

written by IN SEINE, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Dave TV

Time Travel for the unemployed.

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Welsh Wizard proves that Welshmen are not just sheep-shaggers!

A Welsh Wizard called Bryan Briggs (name changed for legal reason and he doesn't kick balls) has saved the reputation of all Welshmen by not shagging sheep, he shagged his sister in law instead, Boyo!

written by Jaggedone, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Glass Topped Coffins - will they ever be popular?

Remains to be seen.

written by kinderegg7, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Adele cancels North America tour

She says she's been hurt by fat jokes about her and is going through a lot of pain.

Yeah, probably Pain au Chocolat.

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

XXX Version of Star Trek - The Next Generation

Currently being filmed in L.A. The slogan? "To boldly come where no man has gone before."

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin: North Dakota, South Dakota?

Sarah Palin was asked if her National Bus Tour would be taking her to South Dakota. She thought for a second and replied, "Yes, if that's the Dakota that's on top.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Donald Trump Will Not Be Riding The Rides - Thank You

Disneyland has announced that it is banning Donald Trump from attending their amusement parks. A spokesperson said that they are afraid his silly-ass hairdo could traumatize some of the younger kids.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Meat Loaf Cries Way, Way Too Darn Much!

Rock and roll icon Meat Loaf wants to set the record straight. While he was visiting the Statue of Liberty recently he did not slip on his tears. He pointed out that he slipped on dog pee.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Anthony Weiner Has Two Left...Feet

Executives for Dancing With The Stars have stated that they want to kill the horrible rumors that Congressman Anthony Weiner will be appearing on next years show.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Sleepless In Mississippi

In an attempt to get some sleep, Mississippi woman Trudy Mitchell, corked her husband's ass to quiet things down. Unfortunately, she lost her left eye when the plan backfired.

written by Young American Wisdom, 06 June 2011
Rating:

New Gig For Brucie

Veteran entertainer Bruce Forsyth is setting out on a new career as a frontman for a popular internet search engine for cattle and sheep sales.

He's to be the new face of Comperethemarket.com

written by grimbo, 06 June 2011
Rating:

Judge questioned over dog biting

The dog is said to be doing well, in spite of having seven stitches in its paw. The Judge is now in quarantine.

written by ExiledRoyal, 06 June 2011
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