"Murray Mount" Is To Close
"Murray Mount" in Wimbledon is set to close because of health and safety. The HSE has decided that it bears too much resemblance with the grassy knoll involved in the assassination of John F. Kennedy
Couldn't get to Glastonbury?
Turn your iPod up to 10 and cover yourself in mud and shit
Hire anorexics as they'll never ask for a lunch-break
For those who can never remember how to spell 'diarrhea'
Just give up and call it squits
Brain Cells Can Be Grown from Patches of Skin
Scientists have discovered that brain cells can be grown from patches of skin. However, they have not been able to grow a brain for a politician - maybe they are just too hard-skinned!
Ryan Giggs pulls out of Big Brother. He said it brought back too many memories of being in big brothers wife.
During a routine genealogy test, cockney actor Danny Dyer discovered that he is in fact Welsh. Our thoughts are with Danny and his family at this unhappy time.
How do we know he was an egg?
Geert Wilders cleared of hate charges!
Dutch far-right politiican Geert wilders has been cleared of hating Muslims, but he still don't like them!
Outrage at Sun
An outraged Sun is furious at hackers allegedly from LulzSec who have hacked into their servers. 'We will be helping Police with their enquiries' was a comment overheard when I tuned in.
written by j.w.
, 23 June 2011
Live dragon racing at Glastonbury this year
LSD can work wonders, concedes Michael Eavis
Andy Murray still British
For a few more days at least
Man takes LSD and has really bad trip
Ends up in Syria
Man watching Venus Williams match on TV arrested
Neighbours rang police concerned that he was raping a farm animal
But The Penguins Looked Fine...Really
Three of the penguins who starred with Jim Carrey In Mr. Poppers Penguins have reportedly entered a rehab clinic for a sardine addiction.
It Looks Like The Gay Fella Is Just Out Of Luck
A gay man in Arizona wants to marry himself. A judge said that it's dumb, stupid, and besides Arizona does not recognize gay marriages.
The Country Record Producers Talk About Cheating
Country music producers in an effort to get rid of the cheating stigma associated with country music have asked artists to please limit the amount of cheating songs on a CD to no more than three.
The Liposuction Craze Has Really Gotten Out Of Hand
Los Angeles County has issued a statement that it will no longer allow doctors to perform liposuction on anorexic women.
For Those Who Thought The Tsunami Wasn't All That
A Lake Michigan barge operator just reported finding a Japanese whaling ship in Lake Michigan. The captain and crew of nine appeared to be somewhat disoriented.
"The Bison Rule" is Wyoming's Motto
NASCAR says they are leaving the state of Wyoming. The drivers just got tired of having to dodge all them buffaloes on the track.
NBC Sports Channel renounces US citizenship
Refuses to apologize for censoring "under God" from school classroom Pledge of Allegiance. "If renouncing our US citizenship is good enough for Superman, then it's good enough for NBC Sports..."