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Rating:

Don't Panic!

Police in Watford, fans of 'Dad's Army', issued a DON'T PANIC warning about a man thought to have a bomb in a Bank. Those who lived north of Watford thought they didn't exist so ignored the warning.

written by j.w., 02 June 2011
Rating:

Cheap beer stampedes in Scotland cause riots!

Due to a computer glitch Tesco's in Scotland were flogging off 3 boxes of Stella for 11GBP, it caused a riot and every alcoholic (90% of Scots) lucky enough to get one thought it was Christmas!

written by Jaggedone, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Spain importing cucumbers from Southern Ontario

Cucumber farmers in Ontario are reported to be delighted to have been asked to export cucumbers to Spain, especially since a well know Pickle giant-who they supplied, moved factories to Mexico.

written by Lady Godiva, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Papers Prefer Papping Pippa

Most newspapers obviously prefer papping Pippa Middleton. Kate is attending weekly therapy sessions to help her cope with her recently acquired inferiority complex.

written by Lady Godiva, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Obama Administration Shocked as Economy Falls in Toilet!

Treasury boss Geithner vows to fix fiasco, fires Staff Fortune Teller and acquires Ouija Board owned and operated by Obama's Mother in law who foresees ' mo small change be comin' BRO!"

written by Morse, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Weiner Admits Mistake, Wife Finally Comments!

"Sometimes Tony can be such a bone head,' she lamented to her boss, after penis pix posted on line. Hillary Clinton was unsympathetic saying, " at least he kept it in his pants, stop bitching!

written by Morse, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Drugs to be decriminalised

Government name Steering Committee members including Pete Doherty, Howard Marks, Amy Winehouse and Pablo Escobar from The MedellĂ­n Cocaine Cartel.

written by ExiledRoyal, 02 June 2011
Rating:

FIFA Throws a bone to FA!

England to be awarded World Cup 'as soon as Hell Freezes Over!"
Al Gore: "it really shouldn't be that long!"

written by Morse, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Quality control commission

The Quality Care Commission is taking over the supervision of Guantanamo.

written by j.w., 02 June 2011
Rating:

Care Homes Renamed

Care Homes in a drive to improve their image are to be called DON'T CARE HOMES.

written by j.w., 02 June 2011
Rating:

Star Wars fan Prepares for End of World

Fearing the end is near, Star Wars fanboy David Clarke prepares to catch the nearest transport to the forest moon of Endor.

written by Ellie James, 02 June 2011
Rating:

"Quick Guys, Before The Sun Comes Up"

Police in Minneapolis are investigating charges that the city of St. Paul overnight moved one of its landfills across the Mississippi River into Minneapolis.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Prophylactically Speaking of Course

Bourbon Street has banned condoms. The mayor of New Orleans stated that in keeping with the area's music tradition, party revelers are urged to use the Rhythm Method.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Has Got To Cut Back On Some Simple Phrases

One of Sarah Palin's top aides has urged her to stop using the term 'No Brainer' given the fact that she is not exactly at the third grade level geographically speaking.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 June 2011
Rating:

I Guess Their Grandparents Were Bunsen Burners

Research Doctors in Denmark have developed test tube twin baby boys. They said that the babies Son-of-A-Beaker #1 and Son-of-A-Beaker #2 are both doing great.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 June 2011
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