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Scarlet Spoofer sighting in Blackburn Scotland, home of Subo

Report of Scarlet Spoofer received by Blackburn, Scotland police. Blackburn,home of Subo.Normal fans believe it is NOT the Scarlet Spoofer but a crazed Subo fanatic who dresses head to toe in RED.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
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Leonardo DiCaprio Talks About His Post-Titanic Phobia

Leonardo DiCaprio has admitted that ever since he filmed The Titanic he has been deathly afraid of ice cubes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Forest Gump and His Twin Sister - The Similarities Are Uncanny

Tom Hanks will soon begin filming his sequel to Forest Gump. The movie will star Tina Fey as Gump's twin sister and will be titled, Forest Gump and His Twin Sister Sarah Palin - Separated At Birth.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
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Gwyneth Paltrow Knows No Fear

Gwyneth Paltrow somewhat disappointed by the failure of her country music movie Country Strong, has announced that she will soon begin filming her new movie, Hip Hop Yo Mama.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
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Tom Cruise Gets To Show Off His Acting Ability (Uh Huh!)

Tom Cruise in what he says will be the most challenging movie role of his career has agreed to portray Oprah Winfrey in Oprah Winfrey - The Woman and Her Yo Yo Dieting Debacle.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Kenny Chesney Insists He's A Good Old Boy Period!

Kenny Chesney says that he is getting sick and tired of having to deny the incessant gay rumors. He says that he is not now, nor has he ever been Tim McGraw's girlfriend.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Jennifer Lopez Says That She Sat There and Did The Math

Jennifer Lopez, one of the judges on American Idol says she kept count and fellow judge Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson uttered the phrase, "America (blanks) in it to win it!" a total of 127 times!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Snoop Dogg Has Got To Find A Better Name For His New Prodigy

Snoop Dogg has been criticized for the name he's picked for his latest singing pordigy. Associates think that it's not right to give his up and coming new girl singer the name Snoop's Bitch Dogg

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
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Gay Actor Nathan Lane Was Told That He Is Just Too 'Manly'

Effeminate actor Nathan Lane was supposed to portray Glenn Beck in a movie but producers decided that he was just not feminine enough.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Sharon Stone Has Reached Those Wonderful Cellulite Years

Sharon Stone has been offered to star in the latest Basic Instinct series of movies titled, Basic Instinct 7: Hey Grandma, Close Your Legs Please.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Charlie Sheen Has Finally Gotten It (Sheeesh)

Charlie Sheen was seen at a shopping mall in La Habra telling shoppers that he threw away a $1.8 million weekly paycheck in order to prove to the country that yes, Charlie Sheen is one stupid A-hole.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Caviar and Sperm taste the same

Top TV Chef says he's not sure as he's never tasted caviar.

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
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IVF Clinic robbed

Police are looking for poached eggs.

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
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Obese women can't get IVF treatment

They can't get a fuck either.

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
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Dawn French loses 3 stone eating omelettes

This is since she stopped making them out of Easter Eggs.

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
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Pornographic films

Ideas to introduce subtitles are scrapped.

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
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The best place to work in Liverpool

Ironically it's the Job Centre

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
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Invisible people

You've got to feel for them.

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Greece protests continue

As rioting continues throughout Greece, budgets are starting to hit the police. Riot police in Athens can no longer afford tear gas and are having to politely ask protesters to begin weeping.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 18 June 2011
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Bruce Forsyth - knighthood gone to his head

Sir Bruce Forsyth is taking knighthood a bit too far. He has taken to wearing armour in public and carrying big sword.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
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Black bear mauled by man in zoo

Black bear seriously injured when attacked by male visitor to zoo he resided in. Apparently the bear reached across a gap and stole the man's Red Sox baseball cap. The fan went wild. Was sedated.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Justin Bieber's teddy bear kidnapped

Justin refuses to perform until 'teddy' is returned.
Kidnappers demand Bieber perform less 'effeminate' moves on stage and 'teddy' will be returned.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Atheist demanding vacation days

Atheists have no set'holiday's as do Christians,so are trying to get the 2nd Saturday of each month designated an Atheist Vacation Day and will spend these days doing good deeds for no reward.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Catholic High Schools new ruling on uniforms

Girls attending Catholic High Schools where a kilt is part of their uniform, have been told they must all 'go commando'. Male kilt-wearers say that it's time for equality.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Tainted beer altert!

Beer-drinkers are being advised to refrain from drinking beer until the source of a mysterious illness, affecting beer-drinkers worldwide,is isolated.Spirits such as gin and vodka are safe! Party on!

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Jesus returns to earth

Jesus returned to earth, as promised, and once again was taken off to a Mental Institution. He's getting fed up with this and has sworn never to try to come back to where he is obviously not wanted.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
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Jolly Green Giant and Hulk are in a relationship

Tired of being alone, the Jolly Green Giant and The Hulk are now in a relationship, sharing a house in Greensville, Kentucky.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
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Nose-pickers wanted

Nose-pickers are desperately being recruited by posh children in private schools who are not allowed to pick their own noses. Wages negotiable.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
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Masticating in public IS allowed

People ARE allowed to masticate in public as long as they keep their mouths closed and no food leaks from between their lips.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Americans rename 'weiners'

Weiners (sausages) are being re-named in America. They are now to be called 'willies' in light of the present congressional scandal. No one wishes to put a wiener in their mouth.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Update on Wills and Kate

They are STILL madly in love with each other. Still holding hands in public.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 June 2011
Rating:

Mr Davies is confused !

MP Philip Davies is confused. He asks, "If disabled people have to be paid at least the minimum wage shouldn't it follow that no able bodied person will be working for the same measly amount of pay?"

written by Tommy Twinkle, 18 June 2011
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Ed Miliband saved by Blair

Labour leader Ed Miliband was given a boost as Tony Blair praised the Government for its deficit reduction plans before a nuclear attack on Iran.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Clarke for the IMF top job?

Kenneth Clarke has been promoted by David Cameron as the ideal President of the World Bank. The jovial ex Chancellor could solve many problems by this move, according to my Tory sources.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Can you beat this?

An American citizen has claimed he hasn't voted since McGovern lost. My American pal has never voted - can you beat that?

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Internet Outrage

A scandal has erupted over Twitters being sold on the cheap.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Care Problems Increase

The problems for Care Homes have been dramatically solved as residents have been offered for medical experiments. 'This will keep costs down and bring in essential income' said a Care Home Surgeon.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Pension Problems Solved

The Government has solved the Pensions problem by enforcing compulsory death for anyone over 65. This will rise to 66 by 2015.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Gaddafi Takes of Nuclear Weapons

Colonel Gaddafi has descended to new depths warning that he will not give up even if he is nuked. He has bunkers so deep they can never be penetrated.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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West Ham's New Policy

David Gold and David Sullivan have engaged several couples to embrace on the field of play during West Ham's home games so that fans do not fall asleep.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Kissing Riot Routed

A Vancouver couple who were kissing passionately in a stadium where a hockey game was in full swing have been arrested for encouraging players to take their eyes off the ball.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Cosmetic Surgery

The Coalition Government is embracing cosmetic surgery with the removal of stiff upper lips high on the agenda.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Sex on the Brain

Sex therapist Sodomy Sam has suggested a new treatment for dementia - sex on the brain - which involves a prick in your ear.

written by j.w., 18 June 2011
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Anthony Weiner's Constituents Extremely Disappointed

Apparently, he lacks the balls they expected.

written by Young American Wisdom, 18 June 2011
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