North Korea Has Been Issued A Rice Warning
The World Citizens Health Organization is warning people in North Korea not to eat rice pudding if they see some of the rice suddenly moving all by itself.
Kanye West Has Finally Found Out Why He Did What He Did
Kanye West recently revealed to Piers Morgan that after months of therapy sessions he can now say that the reason he ran up on stage and took Taylor Swift's microphone was due to El Niño.
Panama Is Sick and Tired of Yellow Looking Canal Water
The Panama Canal Coalition has issued warnings that anyone caught peeing in the canal will be fined $200 and a photo of their Pee-Pee (male or female) will be put up on the Internet.
Elton John Comments On Tracy "Foot-In-Mouth" Morgan
Elton John remarked that if he had a gay son who acted as bigoted as Tracy Morgan has that he'd take away his eye liner, mascara, and lipstick for a whole week to teach him a lesson about tolerance.
Kobe Bryant Has Got To Stop Trying To Be A "One Man Show"
Kobe Bryant is upset that the Los Angeles Lakers were eliminated from the NBA Finals by the Dallas Mavericks. He says that he is planning on working on how not to be so greedy and pass the damn ball.
Rihanna and Her Ronald McDonald Hair
Rihanna says that she has forgiven ex-boyfriend Chris Brown for beating the daylights out of her last year. It appears that the red Ronald McDonald hair coloring may have affected her brain.
The Polish People Are A Mellow Group of Individuals
The Polish Investigatory Agency based in Warsaw stated that investigations for May were down by 28 percent over those of May in 2010. A spokesperson when asked why replied that everyone is behaving.
The Ruling on The Arizona Atheist Group's Request
The Global Insect Commission has stated that they will not act on a request from an atheist group from Arizona to change the name of the Praying Mantis to the Agnostical Mantis.
You must have come in a Taxi
A serial buggerist has worked is way through the entire Territorial Army's football team. The song "You must have come in a TAXI" has never been more appropriate.
written by IainB
, 11 June 2011
Lindsay Lohan Is A Model 'Under House Arrest' Prisoner
Lindsay Lohan reports that the 'under house arrest' thing is working out pretty good and that she especially enjoys frisking herself three times a day.
Rev. Al Sharpton Does Have His Doubts About Miss Sarah P.
Rev. Al Sharpton says he does not care to see Sarah Palin's birth certificate but he sure would like to see the results of an aptitude test.
Britney Spears Is Definitely Addicted To Lip Syncing
Well it appears that Britney Spears has gone back to her old habit of lip syncing again. One of her back up singers said that Britney even lip syncs her coughs.
Adam Lambert Expresses His Vote of Confidence
Adam Lambert was asked to comment on the intimate photos of Congressman Anthony Weiner and he replied that it's hardly a reason for him to resign from office.
Eric Pickles in a pickle
Eric Pickles wants to open shops at Whitehall HQ in empty space. He wants to open a fresh produce shop 'Pickles Produce' but is in a pickle as a result of the recent drought affecting crops.
Hilary Swank to change her name
She now wants to be known as 'Gloria'.
Bruce Forsyth to be 'knighted'
Bruce has been given strict instructions NOT to say 'Give us a twirl' to the Queen during his knighthood ceremony.
Bernie Ecclestone Concedes That Bahrain Grand Prix Will Not Go Ahead
'It's a setback for the formula one season,' admitted Mr Ecclestone to reporters, 'but hopefully we will make up for that at the Syrian and Libyan Grands Prix.'
EPA to Consider Regulating Lawnmowers
Rabid environmentalists employing stupid math are paranoid about the low gas mileage and emissions caused by people driving their lawn mowers to work every day on the interstate highways!
Newly released WikiLeak's document claims Representative Weiner (D-NY) also sent photos to Rachel Maddow left liberal reporter (MSNBC), Whoopi Goldberg and other left wing ladies of "The View" (ABC)!
Germany to Continue Growing Sprouts
German vegetable sprouts that caused the E. coli outbreak killing 31 people and sickening more than 3,000 will continue to be grown. Unlike the ban on nuclear power plants which have killed no one!
Hidden Energy Agenda
Crude oil is still plentiful in the US as oil stocks are well above their five-year average for this time of year. Why does President Obama continue to talk about tapping the US Strategic Oil Reserve?
Wrong Campaign Strategy
Former House Speaker Gingrich, a Republican 2012 presidential candidate, took a vacation. When he came back the speaker found his senior campaign staff had "taken a powder!"
Washington DC Buzz
House Min. Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), Rep. Allyson Schwartz, (D-PA), Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL), Rep. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) and others held a Weiner Roast!
North Atlantic Treaty Organization
US SecDef Gates questioned the viability of NATO, saying its members penny-pinching and lack of political will could hasten the end of US support. Less eloquently, NATO now means No Action Talk Only!
The Ultimate in Spin
Democratic far left wing liberal economists say taxes have been lowered by President Obama's 2009 stimulus which included tax credits. These economists took full advantage of the Marijuana tax credit!