Donald Trump's New "Hair Raising" Reality Show
Donald Trump will be starring in a new reality show in the fall. It'll be called Celebrity Hair Stylist Apprentice and the show will feature 10 hair stylists each giving him a free hairdo makeover.
Charlie "The White Dawg" Sheen?
Charlie Sheen says that he would make a great judge on American Idol because to him all of the contestants are...WINNERS!
Newt Gingrich Is Down and Just About Out
Newt Gingrich, whose entire campaign staff deserted him, says that job offer of a greeter at Walmart is starting to look pretty damn good.
Dick "The Non-Nazi" Cheney
Dick Cheney has denied the rumors that he is a Nazi. He says that if he was a Nazi he would be wearing clothes with swastikas on them, he'd be bad-mouthing Jews, and he'd sound like Heidi Klum.
Prince William hits a paparazzi
During a game of Street Hockey in Canada, Prince William was allowed to take a penalty. He missed the net and was heard to say "I blame you all" as the puck sailed through the air and hit a cameraman.
written by IainB
, 05 July 2011
Law to Legalise Bisexuality Due Soon
… It could go either way!
When Martin Sheen was asked......
When Martin Sheen was asked, "How did you feel when you got fired from 'Two and a Half Men", he replied, "That was my idiot son you freaking moron".
Giggsy is welcomed back by Man Utd!
Giggsy returned to training today feeling slightly apprehensive, but Rooney broke the ice and asked, "what is the fuss all about" because Rooney's experienced at tit!
Drive-thru Church to Be Opened in UK
After a bishop suggested that sermons went on too long, a drive-thru church has opened so you can receive the sermon on a postcard. The problem is the congregation can no longer afford the petrol.
Alan Pardew signing 4 new players to Magpies
Pardew plans to sign, Joe Cole, Ashley Cole, Carlton Cole and Australian player, Gary Cole. He said, "He can't see anything wrong with bringing Coles to Newcastle."
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Leave a message on your voicemail
Gaddaffi running for the US Presidency
Libya's Colonel Gaddaffi has announced his candidacy for the US Presidential election next year. He says he wants to be the first multi-national Head of State. Political pundits can only DISAGREE.
Gaddaffi the next reality TV star
Colonel Gaddaffi of Libya is such a fan of TV reality programmes that he wants to be on the next "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" series. Producers have thought about his request seriously. Maybe?
I was Frieda: Gaddaffi
Libya's Colonel Gaddaffi has admitted that he once sang in a Abba tribute band. "I was Frieda, you know, the one with dark hair" he said. Gaddaffi does not regret for a minute the performances he did
Gaddaffi wants to be Madonna
Libya's Colonel Gaddaffi says he wants to change his sex and become a clone of singer Madonna. "She is so sexy and beautiful" said the Colonel "I can't resist becoming just like her." Oh my my! No!!!
Gaddaffi in new arm struggle
Colonel Gaddaffi of Libya wants to arm wrestle former Californian Governor and ex body builder Arnie Schwarzennegger. "We could go best of three. Hell, that'd be a great idea!" said the idiot Colonel.
Gaddaffi's naked statement
Libya's Colonel Gaddaffi has announced he will run naked from Tripoli to Johannesburg in South Africa if the rebel forces lay down their arms and make peace with the Government. Gaddaffi is serious.
Bastard now a bastard
Dr Richard T Bastard, eminent medical researcher, has been elected Huge Bastard by the elite Bastard Fellowship of Baltimore. Bastard, whose claim to fame is obvious, will take up his position soon.
Archaeological dig in Liverpool uncovers early Roman chariot
Researchers say it's definitely from the local area as it was found standing on two stones with the wheels missing.
Britain's border forces boosted!
David Cameron says that the border patrol for the South East Coast of Britain, is to be doubled.
The 3rd scout group of Little Hampton has joined the 23rd Boys Brigade company from Lynton on patrol.
Traffic police named as UK's worst drivers
The report said; they crash more often than Windows Vista
MoD loses track of £6.3bn in assets
MoD said, "It's a lot of fuss about one nuclear sup. The captain will remember where he parked it eventually"
Prince Charles writes bucket list
He wants to be King
Andy Murray receives hero's welcome in Scotland
Not really surprising as the Scottish for "first" is "runner-up"
Train maker Bombardier cuts 1,400 jobs
Trains to be made in Germany instead. When asked what they thought of the UK order they replied; "As Germans we don't take orders, we give orders"
Basildon council to spend £9.3 million on traveller's evection
A council spokesman said; "It would have been cheaper to buy them a site in Knightsbridge".
Prince William speaks to Quebec crowd in French
Unfortunately he can't speak French and what he actually said was; "Kneel before your future king you nation of Nazi collaborators". Never ask a mate to write a speech
So Farewell, Archduke Otto von Habsburg
Father of the European Parliament.
Wonder if he ever dreamed of being Holy Roman Emperor...
Fifty Killed in Church of Satan Massacre During Songs of Praise Broadcast
Fifty rabbits were slaughtered at the church of satan led by Magus Last Emperor Kim Jong Ill during the BBC's first ever Songs of Praise broadcast at Hell's Kitchen on July 3rd.
written by Alex99
, 05 July 2011