Order by:
Rating:

Alzheimer's Awareness Week. What are the signs?

What are the signs of what? I know; let's have a cup of tea and talk about the war

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Duchess of Cambridge asks Queen for secret of long happy marriage

Queen says; Never piss me off and always wear a seat belt

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Things people should only try once……..

Bungee Jumping with Noel Edmonds

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Barack Obama was asked…….

When Barack Obama was asked what is was like to be the most powerful man in the world, he said, What; I own Microsoft and Google?

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Worst pun ever?

Michelle Bachmann - turn her over, drive. You ain't seen nothing yet!

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Murdoch Monopoly

Rupert Murdoch is promoting his new version of Monopoly. Wapping has taken the place of Mayfair.

written by j.w., 03 July 2011
Rating:

Promotion for Hunt

Jeremy Hunt, Minister of Sky is to be promoted to the post of Minister of Murdoch.

written by j.w., 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough were asked....

When Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones were asked what their views were on Global Warming, they answered in unison,

"EH ?"

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Gordon Ramsay was asked....

When Gordon Ramsay was asked how he felt about his father-in-law being a "serial paterfamilias" he answered. "How the f**k do you think I f*****g well feel you f*****g moron. F**K OFF."

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Carlos Tevez was asked......

When Tevez was asked how he felt about the Inter Milan 'swap' falling through he wept and answered, "I'm devestated. Their kit is much more colourful than Man. City's"

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Strangest news story today

Tesco to sell petrol for home delivery

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Dr Who was asked if he ever shagged an assistant

He replied, which one of us are you asking?

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

8 car pileup in Scotland

Essex traffic police close M25 as a precaution

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Royal couple sail to Quebec City

French declare ten mile exclusion zone

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Oil spill hits Yellowstone River

Yogi Bear held for questioning

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Louis Walsh cleared of lude behaviour

Close friend Simon Cowell says "He's a real good bloke, he would bend over backwards for anyone. Hang on, that's probably not helping"

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Housing benefit cut to £500 per week

Queen and PM looking for new homes

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

High fat food, smoking and drinking are good for you

Says government pensions office

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Cornwall £1 wedding vending machine

Yes, you can now get married for just a £1 but divorce still costs about thirty grand

written by Les Being, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Steven Hawkings was asked....

When Steven Hawkings was asked anything, he replied.................................................

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When the Pope was asked....

When the Pope was asked if he was truly celebate he answered,

"Was OJ really guilty?"

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Dr. Phil was asked.....

When Dr. Phil McGraw was asked if he was still in love with his wife, he answered,

"Hey y'all...I've been doing this for over 30 years. This ain't my first rodeo y'all."

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When OJ was asked....

When OJ was asked if he lied on 'the stand' he said,

"Who? Me? What do YOU think?"

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

When Prince Charles was asked.....

When Prince Charles was asked if he regretted never being King of England...he replied....

"Hey, it's not over 'till the old lady croaks."

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Lady Gaga meets Torontonian Lady Gay Gay

They fell in 'love' of some sort and married today. Go, go, Gaga and Gay Gay. Go galloping gaily, growing gorgeouster each day. Go gallantly not giving a crap!


written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
Rating:

Andy Murray in too much of a hurry

Andy Murray lost his dream at Wimbledon when he was in too much of a hurry to win. He should have listened to his ancestors,'Murray Mints, Murray Mints. Too good to hurry mints.'

Andy-too fast!

written by Lady Godiva, 03 July 2011
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