Hospital Visiting By Skype
Berkshire NHS trust are urging people to visit friends and family in hospital by using Skype. They are warned that they MUST be fully up to date with their antivirus software.
Oprah Winfrey Can Buy Donald Trump and Make Him Get A Crew Cut
The United States government is $14.3 million in debt or as Oprah Winfrey calls it chump change.
The Average Salary of An NFL Player Is About $2 Million Per Year
The NFL lockout has been settled. Gosh it's great to know that now there won't be 1,696 humongous men taking up so much space in the nation's unemployment offices.
Nancy Pelosi Shows She Still Has Some Sharp Claws
Nancy Pelosi knew once she stopped being the speaker of the house the place would go to hell. She remarked, "People said Pelosi is from California, she's a fruit, a nut, a flake - Ok...so eat me!"
You Just Can't Put Nothing Past Old Sarah "Snowflake" Palin
Sarah Palin does not like the Smurfs. She said "Ya know the little fellas are all Democrats." When asked to explain she replied, "Look, they're blue as in blue states or Democrat states, duh."
It Looks Like The Jeb Bush Presidential Show Is Right Around The Corner
Jeb Bush says he's thinking of running for president. He pointed out he'll name his brother George as his vice presidential running mate giving the American people two Bushes for the price of one.
Sarah Palin shoots a deer and her fawn, 2 robins and 5 small children
She just loves her new camera and making Kodak Moments.
Norwegian mass-murder not a Muslim hater, he just loved Hitler!
After the tragic events in Norway it seems that the amok killer was not a "Muslim Hater" after all, he is just an innocent Hitler fan who obeyed Adolf's orders to KILL, KILL, KILL!
Italians replace dead Amy Winehouse (RIP) concert with "near-dead" Spice Girls!
After the tragic death of Amy Winehouse (RIP), Italians had to cancel her concerts (?) and showing solidarity with Amy they hired The, "near dead" Spice Girls to replace her, SAD!
Englishman arrested in Florence for reading hard-core porno instead of Sunday Times supplement!
An Englishman was arrested in Florence, Italy, because he was caught reading hard-core porno in public instead of his usual Sunday Times supplement; is there a difference?
Some Manchester United fans in complete shock when they hear what Americans and Canadians call their team
After watching the Manchester United game against the MLS All Stars via satellite.United supporters were gobsmacked to hear the American commentators referring to their beloved team as Man. U.
Shockwaves rattle the English as they receive the news........
And the winner of "Miss England" is........... Welsh
Siberia for News of the World
Staff on the dead News of the World have been offered jobs in Siberia to reduce the blow of the paper closing. Salt analyst Zed Hack said he was keen to investigate Siberian salt mines.
written by j.w.
, 28 July 2011
"Pakistan - We Have A Problem"
In yet another move to try and save money, the United States government will be outsourcing the NASA space program to Pakistan.
That $14.3 Trillion Dollar Debt Can Be Reduced Real Quick
If President Obama was really smart he would pass a national law okaying gay marriages and then tax each couple an extra $200 gay tax that would go directly to The United States Treasury Department.
Heidi Montag Has Been Issued A Warning
The weather in California has been so hot that Heidi "The Plastic Woman" Montag has been warned by her plastic tits doctor not to go outside or risk having her tata's melt and end up on her ankles.
Costa Rica - The Land of Bananas And Dinero (Money)
President Obama has reportedly asked Costa Rica for a loan. A Costa Rican spokesperson said they can spare about $900 and they'll throw in about 400 bananas for free.
The Mormon Men Still Pretty Much Tell All Of Their Wives Who To Vote For
Sarah Palin was told that Mitt Romney has the Mormon vote sewed up. She smiled and said comedian Zydeco Dupree said Donny and Marie Osmond are voting for the Loose Moose, who Palin said is her.
Coming Very Soon - The New Sit-Com Comedy Show, The Congressional Debt Talks
The Bravo Network is planning a new sit-com show based on The Congressional Debt Talks. It will star Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Heidi Montag, who are all more qualified that anyone in Congress.
No Sarah, That Excuse Ain't Gonna Fly
Sarah Palin is trying to convince people that the reason why her movie The Undefeated did so poorly was because movie goers confused it with the 1969 John Wayne movie The Undefeated.
President Obama Has Put His Foot Down On The Congress Boys
President Obama growing ever so impatient has told the members of Congress that it they can't start agreeing on stuff he is going to have them all fired and their jobs outsourced to Pakistan.
American sports commentators refuse to apologize to Manchester United fans
Most American sports commentators refer to Manchester United as Man. U.They don't understand what all the fuss is about coming from some British Spoof Writers. THEY are the ones with the problems.
Doctor advises Medicare patient with low blood pressure to watch President Obama's televised phony pessimistic speeches about default. Guaranteed to raise blood pressure without prescription drugs!
TEACHER: Name four sexually transmitted diseases. LITTLE JOHNNY: Syphilis, Gonorrhea, AIDS and Barack Obama!
Americans Going Green
America's 200 million coffee drinkers are now using green plastic and Styrofoam cups!
Obama's Voodoo Deficit Reduction
President Obama and the Democrat's deficit reduction plan includes saving $1.2 trillion (includes interest) by not going to war with Outer Slobovia!
Clueless in Chief
President Obama has surrounded himself mostly with inept Democratic left wing ideologues that have never held a real job. Yep, that explains clueless in chief!
Democratic Brain Trust
Rep. J. Clyburn (D-SC) was rushed to GWU hospital for an emergency CRANIALRECTLECTOMY after saying President Obama should raise the debt ceiling with an executive order based on the 14th amendment!
A Sucker is Born Every Minute
State Democratic liberal big spender legislators are trying to convince their constituents that the local business climate will improve if they are allowed to tax Internet sales!