Sorry to see you go. Lovely voice. Troubled life. Any chance of someone hacking into her mobile for any messages?
written by j.w.
, 23 July 2011
Idaho Potato Farmers Are Really Feeling The Heat
Potato farmers in Idaho say that it has been so damn hot that they now have over 300,000 acres of worthless baked potatoes.
President Obama Knows How To Raise Money Fa$t
President Obama is so desperate to try and lower the national deficit by billions of dollars that he has decided to place a tax on bling-bling.
Queen Elizabeth Has Made It Very Clear To "Snowflake" Palin
Queen Elizabeth has texted Sarah Palin and asked her to please discontinue using the name The Tea Bag Party. The queen said she owns the rights to the word tea.
David Letterman and Those Singing Sister Rumors
David Letterman again denies that he and Madonna are related. He angrily states that just because he and the bitch have the same tooth gap does not mean that they came from the same womb or dinky.
Qheens one armed Butler sacked!
Mr Merton, the one armed Butler to H.M. Queen Elizabeth 11, has been thrown out of the palace. An insider told us, "He could give it, but not take it away".
The Wedding Cakes In NYC Are Flying Off The Shelves
Reports are that gay marriages in New York state have really provided a boost to the wedding cake industry. One Queens cake shop reported an increase of 800% in pink wedding cakes.
I Guess Rosie O Doesn't Have Healthcare
Rosie O'Donnell is reportedly furious due to the fact that she went in to see about getting liposuction and she was charged $45 just for the estimate.
Does John Boehner Really Have To Cry About Every Little Thing?
President Obama made it very clear to Speaker of The House John Boehner that if he doesn't stop shedding tears all over the tables and floors he is going to have to levy a fine on his crybaby ass.
The People of Delaware Really and Truly Love Their Guy Joe Biden
The people of Delaware are so proud of their native son Vice-President Joe Biden that they are seriously considering voting on changing the name of the state capital from Dover to Joe.
TSA Policy Change
TSA is to upgrade their full body scanners to eliminate naked images. It was not civil liberties issues that caused the policy change, but the scanner operators were becoming sexually aroused!
But it Tastes so Good
The FBI arrested Center for Science in the Public Interest (food police) employees for fraud. They were apprehended at a The Cheesecake Factory stuffing their faces with food on CSPI's no-no list!
Panic in London UK
The closing of Rupert Murdock's tabloid "News Of The World" has caused panic among London's fish and chip vendors. The fear is that there won't be enough newspaper to wrap the product!
Another Smell in Town
Democratic House Minority Leader Pelosi is introducing her own perfume to compete with Michelle Obama's "Clueless." The new fragrance is called "Arrogance!"
Courting the Women's Vote
US Institute of Medicine recommends providing women free birth control & other preventive health services under ObamaCare. Amazing this finding occurs as President Obama begins to run for reelection!
CSPI Food Gate Scandal
Center for Science in the Public Interest (food police) headquarters has been monitored at lunchtime. Deliverymen for Applebee's, Denny's, IHOP, The Cheesecake Factory, & Five Guys were seen entering.
New Food Research
HHS has recommended Americans eat all the foods on the Center for Science in the Public Interest (food police) no-no list. The items will soon be added to Michelle's Food Plate for healthy eating!
DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz introduces her own perfume to compete with Michelle Obama's "Clueless" & Nancy Pelosi's "Arrogance." The new fragrance "Dispicable" is to be sold only in the west!
The current Democratic Governor of Maryland will next seek President Obama's old job as a community organizer. Maryland's two Democratic US Senators have become political fixtures!
Democrats Tout New Consumer Bureau
Ladies, when buying a new pair of panties a government bureaucrat will now check your credit rating, the merchant's trustworthiness and your butt size before approving the sale!
They Should have been Lawyers
Biologist discovers what makes rabid environmentalists so nasty. A lack of common sense, economics and oxygen has turned their red blood cells green!
The UN always Discusses Irrelevant sh*t
UN Security Council to debate what to do if a giant alien bird comes from outer space and poops all over the planet. Specifically, who cleans up the mess!
Go to Your Right, Go to Your Left
Social Engineering Courses taught at Bob Jones University are different than those courses taught at UC Berkeley!
Sounds Just Like ObamaCare Legislation
The Obama administration wants to mandate automobile manufacturers achieve high fuel economy, low tailpipe emissions and more safety features by 2025. Pick any two out of three!
ELECTION 2008: Obama is coming, Obama is coming, Obama is coming! ELECTION 2012: President Obama is going, President Obama is going, President Obama is going!
To Eliminate Junk email Forever
Unsubscribe to all the politician's weekly newsletters, political party propaganda letters, activist group rants and paid political advertisements until the politicians tell the truth!
What No Fries
President Obama met with Center for Science in the Public Interest (food police) executives. He said leave my Five Guys Jalapeno Bacon Cheeseburger alone or the IRS will revoke CSPI's tax exemption!