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'One thumb bandits' wanted by Serious Spoof Writers

Ten thousand points reward for anyone who turns in the "one thumb bandits". Should be easy to identify because each is made up of one large areshole and they all share a brain.

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
Rating:

New study reveals how to avoid becoming involved in a car crash.

Never, ever, ever, get into a car.

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Customer returns loaf of 12 grain bread to supermarket

She claimed it only contained 11 grains!

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
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Regarding comments on the weather

If you complained about how cold it was during winter then you have given up the right to complain about how hot it is in summer.

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Is as Happy as A Moose In Heat

Sarah Palin is so proud of her son Track and his pregnant wife Britta that she has already gone out and bought the baby a baby stroller, a baby playpen, and a high-powered telescopic hunting rife.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 July 2011
Rating:

FOX To Replace Their Worn Out Slogan of "Fair and Balanced"

FOX owner Rupert Murdoch is so proud of his wife Wendi for jumping to his aid that he is replacing the FOX slogan of 'Fair and Balanced' with 'The Home of The Leaping Dragon Lady'.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Graffiti Has Gotten Way Out of Control

The crew of the space shuttle Atlantis is still trying to figure out how in the world someone was able to spray paint graffiti reading Yo Bro on the side by the door.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Wendi "Leaping Dragon Lady" Deng Defended Her Husband Rupert "Sitting Bull" Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch's wife Wendi, 42, was asked if the 38 year age difference between her and her 80-year-old husband is an issue. The Chinese lady said, "Hubby worth $67 billion, what you effen think?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 July 2011
Rating:

From The Land of Political Irony

Michele Bachmann has chosen the heavy metal band, The Gay Barbarians to be her official presidential campaign band.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Did YOU complain about the price of Kate's wedding dress?

Well, to repcoup the money spent on the Royal Wedding dress, it is to be 'put on display' at the palace,together with accessories so go spend a few quid and help pay for the frock.

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Spoof writer faces ban for taking steroids

Steroid use is rampany in many sports. Recently a Spoof writer was banned for 3 months for writing under the influence of steroids. Un-named Spoof writer said 'steroids seemed to give me an edge'.

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Rupert Murdoch unable to speak

Rupert Murdoch is unable to speak. He is suffering from a hacking cough and is seeking medical advice.

written by Lady Godiva, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Taggart to investigate death of NOTW whistleblower-

"Thas bin a murdoch"

written by tedweasel, 22 July 2011
Rating:

NOS Crime report

Figures released by the National Office of Statistics reveal that only 3% of youths in Bradford will turn to a life of crime - joining the 97% that already have.

written by tedweasel, 22 July 2011
Rating:

NOTW strikes again

Mrs Lila Welbourne had just purchased a microwave oven from the local white goods retailer when she noticed a small defect. NOTW journos had hacked into the oven's memory and were spying on her case.

written by whatinthe world, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Shuttle hit by NOTW corruption

The 135th and final Space Shuttle landing at Cape Carnavral had to be resheduled after NOTW journalists hacked into the the space craft's computer system. "F...ing assholes" one angry scientist said.

written by whatinthe world, 22 July 2011
Rating:

Sex and the single lamp post

In absolutely phenomenal scenes here today, a lamp post grew arms and legs that it flexed amorously at passing females. The post then moved along the sidewalk seemingly in pursuit of one lovely girl.

written by whatinthe world, 22 July 2011
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