Order by:
Rating:

Jane Fonda becomes North Korean citizen

Kim Jong-Il happy with Hanoi Jane's work for communism has decided to award her permanent North Korean citizenship, with royal treatment should she move to the hermit kingdom.

written by rpm1978, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Murdoch's wife speaks of love for husband

Me love you long time Mr Lupert

written by Les Being, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Rupert Murdoch's Five Favorite Desserts

Alibi Pie
Half-Baked Excuses
Amnesia a la Mode
Cream-Filled Canards
And from Carvel... Fudgie the Truth

written by Michael Balton, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Rebekah Brooks Linked to Debbie Wasserman Schultz!

Former NOW editor and DNC chair said to both be using same hair stylist with similar results. "If you think their head looks bad, you should see them nude, it's a jungle out there" said both spouses.

written by Morse, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Obama Taps US Oil Reserves Yet Again!

Executive Decision related to grounding of Air Force 1 forcing cancellation of upcoming Martha's Vineyard vacation due to lack of fuel.
Says riding AMTRAK to Camp David with Biden ' too dangerous!'

written by Morse, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Baby Godiva Causes Mild Reaction in First Public Appearance!

More modest than her mother, fledgling writer appeared in Swaddling Clothes
claiming she was the result of 'immaculate conception." Proud LG denies reports saying, "she came as no surprise to me!"

written by Morse, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Michele Backmann Denies Migraine Reports!

Does admit, however, President Obama continues to be a 'big F****g pain in the Ass" not to mention he gives her 'tremendous gas ."

written by Morse, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Mickey Mouse admits...

...Yes I do own a Rupert Murdoch watch!

written by tedweasel, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Second-Hand Smoke Sure Does Cause A Lot of Damn Things!

The International Anti-Smoking Coalition has just released proof that second-hand smoke now also causes hearing loss, athlete's foot, lisping, and dandruff.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

For 'Foodness' Sakes - No Kidding!

Food studies show most restaurants underestimate the amount of calories in their food menu items. The study was conducted by the same folks who said petting a shark could get your fingers bitten off.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

John "The Rug" Wayne Stood A Hair Above All of The Rest

The reason why bald-headed John Wayne wore a toupee was because everyone knows that there were no bald cowboys in the Wild West.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Cher and Cher Alike

Cher says she is going to have to go back to using her full name of Cher Bono because people are starting to confuse her with Cher the transgendered Las Vegas ventriloquist.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Elton "The Great White Hunter" John Has Been Having Some Animalistic Urges

Elton John is extremely concerned that his latest hair implants may have come from Africa due to the fact that all of a sudden he has a tremendous urge and desire to stalk and shoot a lion.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Diana "The Damn Demanding Diva" & The No-Show Supremes

Diana Ross wanted to do a concert tour as Diana Ross & The Supremes but scrapped the idea because she could not find two elderly black singers who would put up with her prima donna-diva bullshit.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Minnesota's Embarrassing State Government Shutdown May Be Over Soon

Minnesota's 3 week government shutdown may be ending soon. The state plans to sell off 50% of the state desks, chairs, staplers, pencil sharpeners, and Jacuzzis to make sure it does not happen again.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

The Reason Heidi Montag Will Not Visit Arizona

Females who have had silicone breast implants are warned to stay out of Arizona since the extreme heat will cause the plastic to melt emitting a horrendous odor that even skunks will run from.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Piers Morgan once again in spotlight he doesn't WANT to be in

Piers Morgan has been mentioned in the NOW phone hacking scandal. He was not available for comment as he is preparing to host a new "Reality Game Show" which is named "Tell the Truth".

written by Lady Godiva, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Rupert Murdock Is Not Very Good With His "H's"

Rupert Murdock states that he has no knowledge of hacking. He also admits to having no knowledge of Hitler, Hirohito, or Heidi Montag.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Joan Rivers Was Not With Child

A highly reliable source noted that the last time that Joan Rivers had liposuction doctors removed 9 pounds of Geritol marinated fat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Well Let's See An A Cup Is Bigger Than a Minus A Cup

Paula Abdul has denied having had breast augmentation surgery. The tiny X-Factor judge replied, "If I'd had a boob job do you really think I would have wasted my money having them done this little?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Now That Is One Heck of A 1960s Country Music Hairdo

Wow! With that puffed up hairdo Michele Bachmann has just become The Loretta Lynn of Politics.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Danny "The Munchkin" Devito Is Tired of Being A Midget

Danny Devito, the little actor, says that he has always been self-conscious of the fact that he is only 4 foot 10 inches tall and as a result he has decided to have a knee-stretching procedure done.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Arrest the man who tried to 'pie' Murdoch

Arrest this guy for MISSING his mark. For crying out loud, you'd have thought he'd have practised a bit and 'hit his target'. He needs locking up he does!

written by Lady Godiva, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Obama Political Kick the Can

Pres. Obama threatens to veto House GOP sponsored cut, cap & balance measure, which will stall in the Senate. If the bill passes the Senate, the president is in deep doo-doo with the American people!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

The US has a Plethora of Problems, Needs More


Investigation of the germs on play yard equipment located at fast food restaurants continues. Sounds like the loony left food police, as kids have been playing in germs for 5000 years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Nothing More Need be Said!

Hamas spokesman wearing a Burqua, carrying an AK 47 rifle, condemned the seizure by the Israeli Navy of a French yacht carrying pro-Palestinian activists headed for the legally blockaded Gaza Strip!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

What Part of Criminal Don't You Understand

A Baltimore MD mayoral candidate's plan to reduce violence includes a "bullet tax" to increase the cost of committing a crime. Yes, every time a criminal "buys" bullets the city will sock it to him!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

More in Your Pants

EPA and OSHA like all government bureaucratic organizations are creating new potential dangers to regulate, in order to keep receiving funding from Congress!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Alien Thinking Found

Astrophysicists discover alien force field (Beltway) encircling Washington DC that blocks all common sense from being utilized to solve the nation's economic problems!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

The Sky is Falling

The State of Maryland has a $1.2 billion structural deficit, but rabid environmentalists believe the biggest problem the state faces is lost crab traps in the Chesapeake Bay!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
Rating:

Hazardous Employment

White House Press Secretary Carney was rushed to GWU hospital experiencing a choking fit. Once doctors extracted all the Obama administration half-truths from his throat he was pronounced fit!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2011
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