Order by:
Rating:

You Cannot Get the Staff!

Mr Ronald MacDonald could not get any service from one his own shops because the manager thought that he was wearing a tracksuit.

written by IN SEINE, 26 January 2011
Rating:

McLunchbox

Former Olympian, Linford Christie, has refused to buy any "fast" food from McDonald's when news broke that someone wearing a tracksuit would not be served by the fast food manufacturers.

written by IN SEINE, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Gordon Ramsay hires The Big Hairy Bikers

Since being scared shitless in Costa Rica, Gordon Ramsay has hired The Big Hairy Bikers to double as sou chefs and bodyguards whenever he is travelling. They told him - "No F word - or they'll 'walk'"

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Jesus Christ returns

Jesus Christ has flown in on a wing and a prayer - to be a guest on the final season of the Oprah Winfrey show. He'll be on the final show so Oprah will be going out with a Big Bang- That's MY theory

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Spoof Vote on New Format in; CJ demands Recount!

Seems some absentee ballots were overlooked, while others were counted twice, and still others were from former writers, now deceased, or writing abroad.

written by Morse, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Helen Thomas Moves to Al-Jezerra!

The Qatar based media outlet said she'll be paired with UK's 'Randy Andy" Gray and cover the 2018 & 2022 World Cup matches. Thomas is 94, but coverage for the run up to the cup starts tomorrow!

written by Morse, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Gordon Ramsay adds new item to menu

Gordon Ramsay has added'Mock Shark Fin Soup'to his menu.
He's completed therapy after being doused in petrol filming 'poachers' and says the new soup will remind him never to be such a wanker again.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Speaker of the House Manages to Stay Seated During Obama Address to Nation!

John Boehner was able to stay glued to his chair after tech specialists removed the batteries from the dildo which caused Pelosi to get off 1,212 times and left her 'breathless' last January!

written by Morse, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Man with rubber girlfriends takes flight

Man with rubber girlfriends accidentally pumped one up with helium and was last seen holding onto her ankles flying over rooftops in Aberdeen, Scotland.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Susan Boyle gets new pussy

See related story when published. Yes, Susan has a new pussy.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Will THE Kate Middleton please step forward

Poor Kate Middleton has had her facebook account cancelled. NOT Willy's Kate - another woman with the same name - accused of imperstonating Willy's Kate. Duh!

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Elton John is breastfeading baby

Yes, Elton wanted to breastfeed so he had a special bra made with rubber boobs fitted inside in which he places the warm milk. Apparently, he finds it's making him feel more 'maternal'.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Pelosi Causes Row Over Shared Seating at State of the Union!

Neither she nor Barney Frank would take responsibility for the wet spot
they left behind during mutual masturbation ceremony!

written by Morse, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Daily Mail IS A SPOOF

I was going to Spoof a Daily Mail story just now, but after reading some of the stories I realized all I'd have to do is cut and paste. I know that's not allowed. So I didn't.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Calling For Restraint

Clinton calls for calm, restraint in Egypt...Sudan...PLO/Israel...Tunisa!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Gordon Brown Asked Again:

Gordon Brown was today again asked what his biggest regret was after his time in power. He replied:
"HA ha ha ha ha f##k you. Are ye still on about that?"

Tony Blair refused to comment yesterday

written by Masheded, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Competitiveness?

Obama calls for new era of competitiveness. Seems like that hasn't worked in the first two years. We can't compete by allowing others to steal our copyrighted products and bow to them when they visit.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Dog saved on an iceberg is barking mad!

A doggy saved by Polish sailors floating on an icebeg in the Baltic sea, is barking mad; he actually wanted to escape the human race, not be saved by them!

written by Jaggedone, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Aikman Getting Divorce

NFL great Troy Aikman getting divorced. It's just been one of those down seasons for Dallas.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Andy Gray SPEAKS

He is quite a good commentator for Sky Sports and because of some meaningless banter he's been sacked. Where will the witty comments come from now?!

written by DrX, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Foreign Legion Sue Jedward

Those fantastically talented supertwins Jedward are being taken to court for deserting their posts whilst serving in The Foreign Legion.They sneaked out one night and Louis Walsh picked them up.

written by Mr Goster, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Foreign Legion Sue Jedward

Those fantastically talented supertwins Jedward are being taken to court for deserting their posts whilst serving in The Foreign Legion.They sneaked out one night and Louis Walsh picked them up.

written by Mr Goster, 26 January 2011
Rating:

George Osborne Loses Pen.

Chancellor George Osborne has misplaced a pen he received as a birthday gift. A representative states, "It's a 'Power Rangers' one" and ask for it to be handed in at the tuck shop.

written by daveybananas, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Taco Bell! Where's The Beef?

Lawsuit contends that Taco Bell shouldn't market the taco meat filling as beef because their testing shows that it only contains 36 percent ground beef. Wonder what the 64% contains?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Gun Inappropiate?

State lawmakers are debating whether to designate a semiautomatic pistol as the official gun of Utah, despite protests from people who believe it's inappropriate. "How about New Mexico's Atomic Bomb?"

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Faroe Islands Declare War on Russia

Faroe Islands sick of "world not noticing we actually exist" and that "we are a progressive population" says spoke sheep.

written by DonStants, 26 January 2011
Rating:

BBC Closes English And Foreign Language Services

Newscasters speechless as massive job cuts are followed by new openings for mimers.

written by Hawking's Chair, 26 January 2011
Rating:

WalMart's Make-Up For Eight-Year-Olds

WAL-MART offers makeup, anti-aging products for 8-year-olds.If it's made in China, they may not age at all.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

We Already Knew That

OBAMA WARNS AMERICANS: World economic rules have changed...90% of us are broke!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Pope: Joan of Arc a Model

Pope calls Joan of Arc model for public officials. "They all should be burned at the stake!"

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Apparently Just Talking Doesn't Help

President Obama's main message on the economy! New-home sales in 2010 fall to lowest in 47 years.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

"Changes In Altitudes!"

Jimmy Buffett falls off stage on his face in Australia. "Always have trouble walking on the land."

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Obama assures America rest of the world is more crappy

U.S. President Barack Obama asserted in his State of the Union speech that the US is still number 1. "We suck, but let me clear, they suck so much more."

written by ronin47empire, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Mother-In Law Has Middle Ear Infection?

FACT CHECK: Obama and his imbalanced mother-in-law. Sorry, that should be budget. Maybe Both!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Literate mob must replace illiterate mob: Indian Prez on R-Day

Indian President Pratibha Patil allegedly said "We must strive to replace the illiterate mob with a literate mob" in her Republic Day speech to the nation.
Click here for the full story.

written by ronin47empire, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Toyota Fuel Leaks

Toyota recalls 1.7 million vehicles for fuel leaks. PUT OUT THAT CIGARETTE!!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Obama Most Pooular Proposal

President Obama proposes Congressional Spring Break with students, only thing that brought everyone to their feet in applause.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Get Real!

CBO: this year's budget deficit to hit $1.5Trillion! Congress breaks out in laughter. "Get real! It'll be 10Trillion at least."

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Miss Manners

Miss Manners hails civility at State of Union...before being shouted down!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Lizard Wars

5-foot Monitor lizard wanders Calif. neighborhood. Merrick lizard sent out after it.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Obama With Nose in the Air!

In bipartisan tones, Obama challenges GOP. "I know you're down there, beneath my uplifted vision. I can smell you."

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Two Best Movies! Questions About Truth

Questions of truth circle Oscar favorites. Is everybody lying about how good these two really are? Payola?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Poor Old Medvedev!

Russian president fires police chief after bombing. "Should have been at the airport. Anyway, it's not my fault."

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Much Cheering, Bombs Going Off Outside

Karzai opens Afghan parliament, taunts West. Wiggles ass at the East.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Passed Three Frozen Mailmen

New Hampshire man walks to work through three feet of snow. Balls frost-bit!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Sun Grinch Happy

Sick of winter? Too bad! Another storm heads East: The Sun Grinch!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Maybe They Are Both Right

GOP: Democrats are bankrupting America. DEMS: GOP will take away your social security. Thirty-forty years, same messages.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Budget Battles Coming

Obama reflames debate for budget fight. That should be "reframes"!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Reactions Differ

Factbox: Reactions to the State of the Union address. Anywhere from "I worship that man!" to "More face farts!"

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Is Mama on Her Way?

5-foot Monitor lizard wanders Calif. neighborhood. One authorities whispered: "That's Godzilla's baby!"

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

We All Feel Better Now, Thank You!

Calm returns to Lebanon after 2 days of protests. "Just needed to get it out of our system", states leader.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Karzai Opens Afghan Partiament

Karzai opens Afghan parliament and taunts West. "See, I'm against them", he tells government leaders. "No need in blowing us up!"

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

One-Star Bandit Back

TheSpoof welcomes back the famous "One-Star Bandit". Where have you been, Slacker?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Boing: Profits Going "Boing!"

Boeing says 2011 profit hurt by 787, defense cuts. Thanks Dubai for order of the world's tallest airplane!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Poor Thing!

Friends: Ore. officer shooting suspect is paranoid. So I guess any of us that are paranoid have a free hand? That includes all of those that talk about me behind my back!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Problems Concern Young Murderer

US appeals judges Tuesday began considering whether a 13-year-old boy accused of murder could be tried as an adult -- and risk spending the rest of his life behind bars. Would that be child abuse?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

US To Bail Out States?

If the US government bails out free-spending states, why shouldn't states being responsible begin spending like crazy also?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Economy A Mess

Unemployment rises in 20 states. Will US bail out states?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

We're Up To Balls, Make That Eyeballs, In Debt

FACT CHECK: Obama and his imbalanced ledger. America is more in debt than ever in it's history. Much More! Western economies running on borrowed money.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Blank Check For Washington Again

Republicans back at work cutting spending, which is completely out of hand...including GOP spending.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Dueling Messages

For Obama and the GOP, a night of dueling messages, banjos. Leaving Americans looking for Deliverance.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Hairy Subject

Obama's vision draws praise, skepticism, puzzlement over President Obama's hair white, then black, then white again.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Leavin Us Cross-Eyed As Usual

Obama's vision draws praise, skepticism and most watching admiring all the bullshit every year.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Michele Bachmann Says Dinosaurs "Were Just Really Big Dogs"

Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann stated at a political rally that she believes dinosaurs, in addition to being placed here by satan to distract humans, were in fact just "enormous canines."

written by Mark Garrison, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Taco Bell: Where's the Beef?

In response to the recent lawsuit over the quality of their meat, Taco Bell launches 3 new ad campaigns: "Yo Queiro Alpo!", "Make a Run for the Border Collie", and "Think Outside the Runs."

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Right now, Michelle Bachmann is brushing up on the Constitution...

Right now, Michelle Bachmann is brushing up on the Constitution: "Ok, how did it go? 'I'm just a Bill, yes I'm only a Bill, and I'm sittin' here on... On... Sh-t!"

written by anthonyrosania, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Insanity

Insanity is doing the same thing over & over, expecting a different result. Examples, Iranian nuclear talks again ending without agreement & Democrat's continually throw money at the same problem!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Business School Dropout

House Minority Leader Pelosi says that if Democratic liberals hadn't spent the USA to near bankruptcy the unemployment rate would be 15%.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

You're Out

Keith Olbermann signs off MSNBC TV's Countdown for the last time. As a former sportscaster from ESPN, some say the show gradually played an anti-establishment position in deep left field.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Hoorah!

First lady Michelle Obama is going on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" taped in Chicago IL, as an advocate for military families. President Obama is considering returning to "The View!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Dire Consequences Predicted


Democrats say Republicans cutting the federal budget to 2006 levels could have dire consequences. 150 million men's penises may shrink and 150 million women's boobs may decrease two cup sizes!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Congress Better Focus

Never mind the 800 pound gorilla in the room, what about the $14 trillion debt at the US Treasury department?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Nobody Reads them Stupid

FDA to mandate fat, calories and salt labels be put on the front of cereal boxes. This approach will prevent 300 pound individuals from having to exert themselves by turning the package!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Elvis has Left one Building for Another

Democratic liberal loons are leaving the Obama administration with their left wing agendas. Unfortunately Republican conservative loons are back in the US Congress with their right wing agendas!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

No Right or Left Social Agendas

The USA needs an Independent Party (third party) that espouses fiscal responsibility and middle of the road social policy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

A farmer said he didn't watch President Obama's State of the Union speech because he had spent the day cleaning the chicken houses and had enough of that stuff for one day!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

A Sign of Appreciation

Police departments are flying drone aircraft to protect the public. As a sign of appreciation for your Constitutional rights being violated, flip the aircraft the bird when you see one!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

New Distracted Driving Concerns

Police will stop you for distracted driving if you are scratching your crotch while behind the wheel. Scratching when holding a cell phone to your ear with your other hand gets you into deep trouble!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Consensus

Why can't Israelis & Palestinians reach a consensus? For the same reasons Democrats &Republicans cannot reach a consensus on economic policy, spending, abortion, gun rights, & government regulations!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Makes No Sense

President Obama wants to spend money on improving roads. Why bother the price of gasoline keeps rising and besides the president has banned new off shore oil drilling for seven years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

New Energy Source

Political Scientist discovers new renewable biomass source to make the USA energy independent. It's called political bullshit and events will determine if Democratic or Republican BS is superior!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

A Simple Idea

The simple concept of cutting federal government spending seems to have eluded President Obama. Obama administration asks Congress to fund a study program to investigate this idea!




written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

A Dog's Tale

California lawmakers investigate a new distracted driving law, where police can stop you if your dog is loose in the car. Any questions as to why California is bankrupt!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

US Supreme Court Material

GOP social conservative Senators to introduce an unconstitutional bill that says life begins at conception. However, sales of condoms, birth control pills, vasectomies & rubber blow up dolls soar!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Anyone Seen the Energizer Bunny?

Environmentalists block nuclear power plant construction, EPA to force closure of coal fired power plants & GM etal to produce electric cars. Where will electric power to charge these cars come from?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo and Zeppo

Hollywood wants to remake the Marx Brother's movies. Producers have identified Democratic US House members Pelosi, Hoyer, and Clyburn with plenty more house liberals to choose from!






written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Same Old Republican Social Agenda

Americans thought Republican's would get the Democratic Obama administration, with all their regulations, out of their pants. Now ladies, Senator Ron Paul (R-TX) wants to get into your womb!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Alien Life Detected

NASA receives first picture of an extraterrestrial. She looks exactly like a human female, but has three boobs. Picture of male extraterrestrial is being eagerly awaited!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Privacy Issue Resolved

The TSA has new scanners that examine two travelers simultaneously. The operators of the scanner machines cannot tell on the display to which person the observed body parts belong to!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 January 2011
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