There were 1,643 spoof news snippets published in January 2011. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Apocalypse Now

...and the number of the Beast?? 6-6-6

Six protons plus six neutrons plus six electrons...(carbon)

written by Hydrogen Balloon, 07 January 2011
Rating:

Middle east

Hilary Clinton urges Egypt not to use the 1.3 billion dollars of military aid supplied by the U.S. against demonstrators.

"We thought we were sending butter not guns"

written by churchmouse, 28 January 2011
Rating:

Power Balance Bands DO Work

So now I don't need my special hat made out of tin foil.

written by Roy Turse, 07 January 2011
Rating:

Power Balance Bands DO Work

I have one on the wrist of my TV-remote-holding hand and I used it to switch to SKY Sports to watch the Ashes. And England won. Can't argue with that.

written by Roy Turse, 07 January 2011
Rating:

Britain's Debt Rising by £7,000 A Second

Going to have to give up that Sky subscription... cut down on the wine... and I keep telling you about using the credit card!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 January 2011
Rating:

Bureau Forced To Stop Writing Snippets!

TheSpoof.com snippet king, Bureau, has been forced to give up writing the damned things due to 'a bad back'. He told another writer on the site:

"Nobody reads the fucking things anyway!"

written by Monkey Woods, 20 January 2011
Rating:

This Is the Title of the Snippet Which Appears in the Snippet Itself

BIRMINGAM - This is the title of the snippet which appears in the snippet itself. The snippet is self-referential and talks to the reader of the snippet. OI, RATE THIS 5. Don't click the next button!

written by Inhopeless, 29 January 2011
Rating:

Snippet Service Bored Of Being Only 200 Words

LONDON - The Spoof.com's snippet service is bored of being just over a text message length long. "It sucks ass," it beeped. "I want to help Spoofers express themselves more!"

written by Inhopeless, 31 January 2011
Rating:

Tear Gas Makers Pleased With Situation in Egypt

CAIRO - Tear Gas CO., makers of the gas in Cairo, are happy with the sales. "We help government, we make money. Win-Win. Okay, maybe not for protesters. But they buy gas too, right?"

written by Inhopeless, 30 January 2011
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Power Balance Bands DO Work

Provided they are the same weight as your wristwatch and you wear them on the other wrist. You are then scientifically proven to be in balance.

written by Roy Turse, 07 January 2011
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Power Balance Bands DO Work

Because they have a hologram. My credit card also has a hologram and this causes my credit limit to increase over time without me having to do anything.

written by Roy Turse, 07 January 2011
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Power Balance Bands DO Work

They generate positive cosmic forces because the hologram resonates in harmony with the wearer. They are especially good for people with Parkinson's.

written by Roy Turse, 07 January 2011
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Scientists Finally Discover What Will Please a Woman

After many years of research, scientists have, at long last, discovered what will please a woman. It is commonly known as 'NOTHING'.

written by IN SEINE, 17 January 2011
Rating:

Twitter Latest...

According to Twitter, 1000 turtledoves have committed suicide over Italy today. In comparison, three Afghans, thought to be Taleban insurgents, detonated their suicide bombs.

written by IN SEINE, 08 January 2011
Rating:

Google Releases Google Apple

PALO ALTO, CA - Google released Google Apple today at a press conference. The Google Apple will do Apple-y things for nearly 75% of the price and development time. Experts say 'certified success'.

written by Inhopeless, 22 January 2011
Rating:

Escaped Pigs On The Loose In Southampton

Last seen on M27, with sign reading: "Get us out of here PLEASE! Take us to Pompey!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 21 January 2011
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Power Balance Bands DO Work

The special rubber used in their manufacture gradually releases small amounts of placebo through the skin and into the bloodstream.

written by Roy Turse, 07 January 2011
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Man Eats Out for First Time in 15 Years, Gets Upset that Fries Are Not French Anymore

A man, eating out for the first time in 15 years at a Wendy's, demanded French fries, which are fries that fall down and surrender when they you stood up in their holders, not to stay standing.

written by mikewadestr, 20 January 2011
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RAF Tornado Crashes in to Sea

An RAF Tornado crashed into the sea off the coast of Scotland today, leaving the other 2 to defend the British Isles.

written by IN SEINE, 27 January 2011
Rating:

Page Won't Load to Users Annoyance

COVENTRY - Man, John Hinks, was trying to load page thespoof.com when the page crashed, forcing Firefox to display error. After repeated pressing of Refresh, page still wont load. Has now smashed PC.

written by Inhopeless, 02 January 2011
Rating:

Bad Headline Number 76

Seamen Found on Bouy

written by IN SEINE, 08 January 2011
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Google May Soon Be A Thing Of The Past

Google has announced that it plans to change its name to the much more appropriate and politically correct Giggle.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
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Sarah Palin Clears Things Up on Sean Hannity

Sean Hannity asked Palin to explain once again her intention with the now infamous map. She replied, "Well, Sean, my mistake was clear. I realize I shoulda used bulls eyes instead of cross hairs.

written by Charpa93, 19 January 2011
Rating:

Shakira Has The Fastest Hips In The World

Shakira recently demonstrated on The David Letterman Show that she can break a two by four with her hips.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 January 2011
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The Sarah Palin Vs. Nancy Pelosi Asian Feud Continues

Nancy Pelosi reportedly wrote the government of South Korea and told them to let Sarah Palin have North Korea because they (South Korea) have her.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2011
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Osama Bin Laden Is Well And Shopping In Karachi

Osama Bin Laden has reportedly been spotted at a Best Buy Electronics Shop in Karachi, Pakistan, purchasing some batteries for his video recorder.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 January 2011
Rating:

Chickens Genetically Modified to Keep Away Bird Flu

Scientists have genetically modified chickens so that they will not pass on Bird Flew. It's not known how long it would take for the virus to modify itself to become dangerous again.

written by IN SEINE, 24 January 2011
Rating:

Bad Headline number 77

Eligible Pet Owners Can Get Free Neutering,

written by IN SEINE, 09 January 2011
Rating:

McLunchbox

Former Olympian, Linford Christie, has refused to buy any "fast" food from McDonald's when news broke that someone wearing a tracksuit would not be served by the fast food manufacturers.

written by IN SEINE, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin in Hot Water over Comments Again

Sarah Palin, wanting to be sure her followers knew that she was still considering a run for the Presidency, tweeted this over the weekend: "Still have my sights aimed at Presidency."

written by Charpa93, 17 January 2011
Rating:

Joan Rivers Puts An End To The "Bank" Rumor

Joan Rivers has denied the rumor that her 97-year-old uterus is the size of a bank safety deposit box.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2011
Rating:

"Hey Mom, My Potatoes Taste Kinda Funny."

Idaho once again facing a potato shortage has decided to start importing them in from Ireland.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2011
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The Woman Who Can Eat 70 Buffalo Wings In One Sitting

Kirstie Alley was shocked to find out that chocolate covered buffalo wings are not a member of one of the four basic food groups.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 January 2011
Rating:

The Shoshoni Indians Were Damn Good Teepee Builders

The Shoshoni Indians of the 1870s were believed to be the first Indian tribe to make teepee's out of stucco instead of out of buffalo hides.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2011
Rating:

Kirstie Alley Has Revealed All Of Her Cooking Secrets

Kirstie Alley who tips the scales at 409 pounds has just written a cookbook entitled, "Cooking With Ingredients."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2011
Rating:

Man with rubber girlfriends takes flight

Man with rubber girlfriends accidentally pumped one up with helium and was last seen holding onto her ankles flying over rooftops in Aberdeen, Scotland.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
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The Most Unusual ATM Machine In America

An ATM machine in Boise, Idaho malfunctioned and accidentally started dispensing French fries instead of money.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 January 2011
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The Farmer Has No Idea What The "Baby" Is Called

A dairy farmer in Wisconsin accidentally crossed a milk cow with an egg laying hen. He has no earthly idea what it is, but he did say that it gives damn good egg nog.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Rating:

Sheen's Rehab and The Two and a Half Men Fallout.

While Charlie Sheen is in rehab, 2.5 Men will be on hiatus, and it could cost WB $250 million. Also, Angus T. Jones will be 6'7", 285 lbs. by the time Sheen is released.

written by anthonyrosania, 31 January 2011
Rating:

You Cannot Get the Staff!

Mr Ronald MacDonald could not get any service from one his own shops because the manager thought that he was wearing a tracksuit.

written by IN SEINE, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Redwing Blackbird Air Disaster :

Why was there no black bird-box on the flight ? Or was it
removed by sinister 'first responders' sent to Arkansas crash site? Next series of 'Mayday' to include episode on Beebe air disaster!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 11 January 2011
Rating:

Cocaine Prices Expected To Drop As Charlie Sheen Enters Rehab.

Now that Charlie Sheen is in rehab, experts expect that the glut of the drug on the market will cut the price of cocaine at the retail level by 15-40%.

written by anthonyrosania, 31 January 2011
Rating:

When Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin Finds Out Who Is Moving To Wasilla, Alaska She Is Going To You-Know-What

The Taliban has decided to open up a branch office in Wasilla, Alaska.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Rating:

The Word Number Two By Any Other Name Smells Just As Bad!

Many people believe that the word 'two' came from the French word deux. But truth be told it actually came from the buffalo droppings that the buffalo hunters called number 2.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Rating:

The Actress Formerly Known As Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson, whose ego has taken a beating as of late, wants everyone to know that she is still around and available for movies, TV shows, orgies, and videos.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 January 2011
Rating:

The Interesting Names Dolly Parton Has Chosen For Her Knockers

Dolly Parton a hardcore, card-carrying Democrat confided to Barbara Walters that she has named both of her breasts. She said her right boob is named Limbaugh and her left boob is named O'Reilly.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 January 2011
Rating:

The Absolute Truth About That Infamous Yankee Doodle Song

The song lyrics 'Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony, stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni' are false. What Yankee Doodle actually called it was, vermicelli.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
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The Netherlands Cigar Shortage Has Hit An Alarming Low

Due to the country's extreme cigar shortage, the Netherlands is planning on invading Cuba in late March.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
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The African Marathon Is Going To Be The Mother of All Marathons

The biggest marathon in the world will be held in untamed Lower Zamgola. Marathon organizers are expecting 7 million runners who are urged to please bring their own water, food, and spears.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2011
Rating:

Who "Wood" Have Thought That The Woodpeckers "Wood" Have Done What They Did?

The town of Boise, Idaho has reported that a flock of crazed hoodlum woodpeckers have completely destroyed the wooden statue honoring the Idaho Woodpecker.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 January 2011
Rating:

Gorilla walks upright - what does this mean?

Gorilla walks upright. What does this mean? It means that he is sick and tired of the bloody 'knuckle dragging' jokes and wants to be respected. Hells's bells, Darwin was right. I never doubted him.

written by Lady Godiva, 28 January 2011
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Liechtenstein Is At The Point Where It's Already Standing Room Only

The tiny European country of Liechtenstein is so small that it has outlawed the use of Viagra.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
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The Country Formerly Known As Upper Shabutu?

The United Nations is sending a group of munitions inspectors to the little African country of Upper Shabutu because of rumors that it has developed an Atomic Bomb.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Rating:

Seems Darwin was right

Seems Darwin was right after all. Did anyone ever doubt him? 'Gorilla walks upright in English zoo." Why the hell NOT? How many of US walk on all fours when we are inebriated? Come on-don't be shy.

written by Lady Godiva, 28 January 2011
Rating:

So farewell Pete Postlethwaite:

Saw you on stage with the RSC. Brilliant.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 January 2011
Rating:

The Reason The KKK Is Closing Its Lower Zamgola, Africa Office

The Ku Klux Klan has announced they'll be closing their office in the African country of Lower Zamgola. It seems that they got tired of having wayward spears come whizzing through the front window.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 January 2011
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Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith's Musical Baby

Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith have decided to give their next baby the melodious name Vuvuzela Marimba Smith

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2011
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Sarah "Snowflake" Palin Picks Up Yet Another Honor

Sarah Palin has just been named by North Korea as "The Most Popular Non-Korean In North Korea."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 January 2011
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Calling For Restraint

Clinton calls for calm, restraint in Egypt...Sudan...PLO/Israel...Tunisa!

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Susan Boyle loves pussy

Susan Boyle does indeed admit to 'loving pussy'. Now, before you dirty sods take this the wrong way....she does of course mean 'cats' (I think!)

written by Lady Godiva, 27 January 2011
Rating:

Man survives l 000 ft. plunge from Scottish mountain

Turns out to be a Spoof writer with a thick skull and he wishes to remain anonymous for now. See related story now - or soon to be published. Worth 5 of anyone's thumbs.

written by Lady Godiva, 30 January 2011
Rating:

Salad Croutons Can Be A Bitch

The woman with the world's smallest waist had to be taken to the hospital when she accidentally swallowed a salad crouton.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
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Poll Results in on Giffords Shooting

93% of Americans glad they aren't Sarah Palin
97% of Americans glad they aren't Glenn Beck
3-7% were undecided.

written by Charpa93, 09 January 2011
Rating:

There Is A Very Good Reason Why President Obama Is Not Going To Brazil

President Obama has announced that he is cancelling his scheduled trip to Brazil due to the outbreak of the dreaded Brazil Nut Fever.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 January 2011
Rating:

So Farewell, Susannah York.

Superman's mum. Gorgeous.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 January 2011
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Tom Delay Sentenced to Three Years in Federal Prison

With time off for good behavior, he may just be out in time to influence the 2012 elections.

written by Charpa93, 12 January 2011
Rating:

WalMart's Make-Up For Eight-Year-Olds

WAL-MART offers makeup, anti-aging products for 8-year-olds.If it's made in China, they may not age at all.

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Female Spoof Writer observation

Spoof Writer keeps writing stupid snippets about woman putting knickers on backwards and the like....

Female Spoof writers observes above and asks to NOT be called 'Lady Vagina' by Penises.

written by Lady Godiva, 30 January 2011
Rating:

Joan "The Moan" Rivers Is One To Be Talking About Effen Plastic

Joan Rivers says that Heidi Montag has so much plastic in her body that a ship cruise line could use her as a lifeboat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2011
Rating:

Ant eater sues racist Zoo Keeper!

"All I said was, why the long face?" Claims Keeper.

written by armfeetandtoe, 31 January 2011
Rating:

Damn - The Sun Is Sure One Hot SOB!

The temperature of the hottest spot on the sun is 28,080,000 degrees F, or hot enough to reduce Heidi Montag to about three Dixie cups of plastic.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Rating:

Uncle Ben Is The Male Version of Aunt Jemima

Television's Judge Judy who made a very racist remark about "Uncle Tom" has made amends by donating $10,000 to The Aunt Jemima Pancake House For Unwed Ho's.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2011
Rating:

You'll Never Guess What The Two Carolina's (North and South) Are Fixing To Do

North Carolina and South Carolina are thinking about changing their state name to the more American sounding North Caroline and South Caroline. Singer Neil Diamond has given the idea his blessing.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 January 2011
Rating:

Vermont's Maple Syrup Shortage Is Getting Downright Ugly

The state of Vermont has announced that due to the maple syrup shortage farmers are having to dump over 200,000 pancakes into the Walloonmsac River.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 January 2011
Rating:

It Looks Like Little Piper Palin Might Not Be A Chip Off The Old Bitch, I Mean Block

Piper Palin reportedly told her teacher that she is depressed because she is already nine-years-old and she has yet to shoot her first moose, elk, caribou, or reindeer.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 January 2011
Rating:

The Brand New Arkansas "Kissing" Law

The state of Arkansas has finally passed a law that strictly prohibits binge cousin kissing.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 January 2011
Rating:

Wikileaks Has Some Very Interesting Info On The KKK

Wikileaks documents reveal that the Ku Klux Klan has two undercover members that live in Harlem. Yes it is very, very confusing to say the least.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2011
Rating:

It Looks Like 'Don't Ask - Don't Tell' Was Even Around During The Time of The Civil War

Just before the American Civil War, the Confederacy's uniforms were going to be pink instead of gray, but General Lee vetoed the idea saying that pink uniforms would be hard to keep clean.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2011
Rating:

You Will Not Believe What Madonna Asked Her Gynecologist

Madonna reportedly talked to her gynecologist about having her tooth gap botoxed. He laughed at her and told her to get her silly old has-been ass out of his office cause he had real patients to see.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 January 2011
Rating:

Daily Mail IS A SPOOF

I was going to Spoof a Daily Mail story just now, but after reading some of the stories I realized all I'd have to do is cut and paste. I know that's not allowed. So I didn't.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Elton John is breastfeading baby

Yes, Elton wanted to breastfeed so he had a special bra made with rubber boobs fitted inside in which he places the warm milk. Apparently, he finds it's making him feel more 'maternal'.

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

Cackle, Cackle, Cluck, Cluck

Doctors in Tokyo are reporting that they transplanted the heart of a chicken into a 97-year-old woman. They say that she is doing great and that in the first week alone she laid three dozen eggs.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 January 2011
Rating:

Gordon Ramsay hires The Big Hairy Bikers

Since being scared shitless in Costa Rica, Gordon Ramsay has hired The Big Hairy Bikers to double as sou chefs and bodyguards whenever he is travelling. They told him - "No F word - or they'll 'walk'"

written by Lady Godiva, 26 January 2011
Rating:

President Obama Is Considering Fidel Castro's Latest Arizona Offer

Cuba's Fidel Castro tells President Obama he'll buy Arizona for $1.2 million and he'll throw in a box of Cuban cigars, a case of Cuban rum, and a 17-year-old pitcher who can throw the ball 104 mph.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 January 2011
Rating:

Captain Schatz on the Gorch Fock! Crew mutiny of German Navy Ship.

Captain Schatz on the Gorch Fock! Wouldn't YOU mutiny if YOUR Captain SCHATZ on the Gorch Fock! Too bleeding true you would. Slippin' an' slidin' in that stuff is no joke.

written by Lady Godiva, 27 January 2011
Rating:

The Winners of The Biggest Thighs In America Have Just Been Announced

Venus and Serena Williams have tied for the title of "The Biggest Thighs in America." Kirstie Alley, Carrie Fisher, Wynonna Judd, and Oprah Winfrey, all heave a collective sigh of relief.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 January 2011
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GOP Princess Ann Coulter Gets Hit With A Pie In Her Pie Hole

Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter was hit with a lemon meringue pie as she spoke at Gatorade College in Ocala, Florida. The Republican maven remarked, "Damn at least it could have been made out of oats."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 January 2011
Rating:

Chicago By Any Other Name Smells Just As Oniony?

The name Chicago was not taken from the wild onions that grew wild there. The name derived from the little cubs that used to hang around bothering the settlers. The cubs were known as Chicago Cubs.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2011
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Katie Price: The Full Marriage Split Statement Revealed

It reads,
Alex and I have had a number of difficulties over the past few months. I accept that these were in part caused by my marrying too quickly - we all...
Ah fuck it, who really gives a shit?

written by Nick Hobbs, 18 January 2011
Rating:

Live With Regis and Kelly Still Has A Nice Ring To It

Kelly Ripa threatens to quit Live With Regis and Kelly unless the name is changed to Live With Kelly and Regis. The producer tells her, "Okay, don't let the door hit you on your way out bitch."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
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Jon Stewart Because Everyone Knows That The "H" Is Silent

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show has disclosed that since everyone misspells his first name he is going to go ahead and add the missing letter "H." So Stewart's first name will now be spelled Hjon.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
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The Whores' Whisperer

New reality show. First episode of "Whores' Whisperer" to air Feb.14th. Whisperer is named as Dr. Phil McGraw. He has been doing this for 30 years. What he whispers in whores' ears to be revealed.

written by Lady Godiva, 04 January 2011
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Did You Hear About Belgium?

Brussel Sprouts Epidemic hits Belgium. All of its inhabitants are told to evacuate to France, Germany, or the Netherlands.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2011
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So Farewell, Gerry Rafferty

The Night Owl of Baker Street, you're no longer stuck in the middle with us. That sax solo and guitar break were the soundtrack of my '78.

Oh dear - there are far too many "So Farewells," lately!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 January 2011
Rating:

Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin Is Now Starting To Blame "El Nino"

Weather experts have stated that the weather phenomenon known as "El Nino" may be responsible for the extreme radical behavior of some Arizona Tea Bag Party members.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 January 2011
Rating:

Wikileaks Documents Show That Johnny Appleseed Spent A Lot of Time In Los Angeles and San Francisco

Wikileaks has documents showing that Johnny Appleseed was twice caught in the possession of sinsemilla seeds.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 January 2011
Rating:

Man wins car with unusual 'proposal'

Car competition (TRUE) What would YOU do to win the car?...WINNER ...MAN WHO OFFERED TO - AND HAD - HIS WILLY TATOOD AT THE RADIO STATION WITH THE NAME OF THE CAR. THANK GOD IT WAS JUST A 'MINI'.

written by Lady Godiva, 27 January 2011
Rating:

John McCain Apologizes to Republicans for Giving Props to Obama

John McCain claims "like many Americans, I got caught up in the moment when I wrote that op-ed in the Washington Post." He told fellow Republicans, "Believe me, it will never happen again."

written by Charpa93, 16 January 2011
Rating:

Famous Groundhog Sees Shadow on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Predicts no foreseeable end to racism in America.

written by Charpa93, 16 January 2011
Rating:

Taco Bell! Where's The Beef?

Lawsuit contends that Taco Bell shouldn't market the taco meat filling as beef because their testing shows that it only contains 36 percent ground beef. Wonder what the 64% contains?

written by Bureau, 26 January 2011
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