Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 9 February 2011
Prostitute Tolerant Zone sign seen in Leeds - "Humps for 500 yards".
Handbag Wielding Grandma to Receive an OBE
A 70-year-old grandmother of eight, is to receive an OBE for chasing away 20 robbers of a Northampton jewellery shop, with her handbag, last week. In this case, OBE stands for 'Old Bag Extraordinaire'.
Wanted: Handbag-weilding OAPs to join police forces worldwide
Handbag-wielding O.A.P.s are being recruited by Police Forces World-Wide after the video aired on youtube today- old lady single-handedly thwarted jewelry store robbery using her grit and her handbag.
Elderly woman falls at home and breaks hip! Miracle hero Labrador takes crap, licks balls!
Marathon Runner Is Virtually Bankrupt
Belgian marathon runner Steffaan Engels is virtually bankrupt after running 365 marathons in one year. He is thought to have spent the money on buying trainers every day @ €220 a pair.
If you think YOU are having a bad day...
Just think how the 6 bandidos armed with hammers are feeling after having their 'planned' jewelry heist thwarted by a 75 yr. old woman wielding a handbad. Talk about being embarassed.
Whether forecast for Prince Charles
Slight chance of reign!
Whether forecast for Queen Elizabeth
Reign, reign and more reign.
Down in the dumps and feeling blue at Chelsea.
Chelsea's Didier Drogba says there's never been such a miserable mood at the club - February's always a grey depressing month in England Didier.The daffodils will soon be be out to cheer us all up.
Plans to improve school dinners in Oldham?
Oldham(UK)want to charge any new takeaway food shop wanting to open up near a school £1000.Let's hope they spend it on
improving the school dinners!
Fishy goings on in Birmingham!
Birmingham(UK)health officials have confused people by saying they want their fish'n'chip shops to sell healthier dishes.Do they want them to sell boiled fish'n'chips or stop selling fish completely?
A new app for the iphone has been launched today in the hopes of getting more Roman Catholics to confess. However, it is not as successful as Google because Google knows the truth and if we do the 10 Hail Mary's or not.
United Fan Found In Manchester
Manchester United officials were up in arms this morning after finding out a fan had walked to the Stadium and lived less than a mile away.Spokesman Ken said,'traditionally our fans are from London.'
Middle East flare up
A paper aeroplane has caused an international incident when it was thrown from Israel's West Bank over to Palestinian controlled territory. Both sides mobilised their paint bomb and flour'n'egg units.
A recent survey has indicated that one in three people are sick of survey taking phone calls, one in four are sick of reading about surveys and half just want to throw up all over the place. Great!!