Spoof news snippets from Thursday 3 February 2011
Lib Dems to be now known as Dem Libs
The Lib Dems now wish to be known as Dem Libs in honour of the many supporters who have botoxed lips...and they DO number in the thousands...
Violent Owner Bites Dog
In what was a quite mindless act of violence,animal Terry Beard,42,from a council estate,bit his dog,Wesley,a West Highland Terrier with a pronounced limp.
An eye witness said 'He's a nutter him.'
It's Official - Clarkson's A Tosser
It's taken 4 years to complete but the poll to find the answer 'Is Clarkson A Tosser' is officially over. 28,000 people took part including Jeremy himself and his Mum.Only ONE person answered 'No'.
Butlins turn UK youth jails into holiday camps!
Butlins have been invited to run what many people believe youth jails really are, holiday camps! Now hooded juvenile thugs can have a really good time on the taxpayers dosh!
Irish Taoiseach solves money crisis!
Irish Prime Minister, Brian Cowan has resolved the debt ridden countries problems. Asked how, he said:
"We remembered der combination to der safe.
Parents of Vocal Teen Fervently Wish He Was Moody And Secretive Instead
As 14 year-old Vick Jr. announced he was going on a masturbation strike at press conference, his parents released a statement wishing he'd been moody and secretive like other teens. Click here for full story.
Old Lady Swallows Fly
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly and nobody knows why she swallowed the fly but it lodged in her windpipe, and struggling for breath, it killed her. Very sad news.
Survey Proves What Was Already Known
It took a survey to find out what was already known - boys pass on swine flu to other boys - particularly if they are all Male Chauvinist Pigs!
Jobs for the Boys!
Nick Clegg today pledged to repeal the law that disqualifies MPs from holding office after suffering mental illness. Over 610 MPs were said to be delighted. WARNING it was only a pledge.
Royal Fruit tipped to win Oscar
'The King's Peach' hot favorite for Best Film...
Nick Clegg refuses film role!
Nick Clegg today changed his mind about taking a film role offer, he thought to play Indiana Jones, when he found out it was to play Corporal Jones in the new 'Dads Army' film.
Milkman Delivers Twins
It's usually 2 pints and 6 eggs, but milkman Dave Potts over delivered this morning when he helped a young mother give birth to twins.
'All in a day's work for me' said the gold top hero.
Bing are stealing results from Google