Spoof news snippets from Sunday 27 February 2011
Simple Simon suing 'someone'
Simple Simon is suing someone fro 'labelling' him as 'simple' but he is so stoopid, he doesn't know who to go to to help him out. Any village idiots out there willing to give him a hand?
Last Bender Wins Razzie
The Razzie Award for the worst film - which competes with the Oscars - has gone to....I've lost the envelope..here it is THE LAST BENDER. It is the tail of a gay man disappearing into a pink mist.
Peter Pumpkin eater, arrested
Peter, Peter Pumpkin eater arrested for unlawful confinement of wife in pumpkin shell. He is also charged with vegetable abuse.
It's raining, it's pouring
It's raining, it's pouring but the old man ain't snoring. He's wearing his CPAP mask, much to the delight of his wife.
Doctor Foster to give Gloucester another try
Dr Foster has decided to give Gloucester another try. After stepping into a puddle right up to his middle many years ago he's bought a pair of green hip-waders and is set to make the journey tomorrow.
Breast milk made ice cream latest rage in London!
A clever entrepeneur has opened an ice cream salon with the ice cream being made solely from rejected breast milk, he's called it "Boob Deluxe", lonely, wanking Dads are his best customers!
Andrew Woos Gaddafi
In an attempt to solve the Libyan problem Prince Andrew is holding out an Olive Branch. 'If you leave Libya to BP, Colonel, I will get you and your family invited to the wedding of William and Kate.'
Tony Blair Pelted With Eggs
2 men and 2 women are being sought after Tony Blair was pelted with eggs at a book signing in Belfast.
At the time of going to press, 3,500 people had claimed responsibility.
Obama Sets February 31st Deadline for Troop Withdraw
Critics say deadline is "impossible to meet".
Of ignoble birth!
Should eat more fibre...