Order by:
Rating:

One Of The Most Perfect Words In The English Language

The word "Lisp" sounds exactly like what it actually is.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 February 2011
Rating:

This Is The Best Damn Diet In China

The One-Chopstick Diet.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 February 2011
Rating:

The Banker's Wife Revealed Why She Divorced Her Husband

He just lost 'Interest.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Mubarak believes he can win election!

Hosni Mubarak says he would like to give the people of Egypt the opportunity to vote him back into power when arrangements are made for an election to take place.He feels confident of winning he says.

written by Tommy Twinkle, 12 February 2011
Rating:

The Most Sure Fire Successful "Non-Invention"

Mouse-flavored cat food.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Alex Ferguson on Retiring

Sir Alex Ferguson has finally admitted that he knows exactly when he'll call it a day and retire from the game.

Its when he finally discovers what to do with his hands when Man U score.

written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Becks Talks About Next Child

David Beckham is glad he and Posh aren't naming their 4th child after the place of conception, as happened with Brooklyn. He really didn't want to call the child Peckham Beckham.

written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Runaway Train Comes Over The Hill

A Runaway train came over the hill,and it blew,a runaway train came over the hill and it blew,then it went straight into the side of a pub.The Driver,Porter,Engineer and Fireman all shat themselves.

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Man Has Nasty Fall Off Wall

Harry Dumpty,42,from Swannage,sat on a wall,but shortly after that,he had a great fall.He split his skull open,Paramedics said 'he was very drunk so it's his own fault.Please drink responsibly.'

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Spider Drowns In Spout Tragedy

Incy Wincy spider climbed up the spout,trying to escape,but down came the rain in such volume that he couldn't cope and was drowned under the sheer weight of water.Tragic,should have been avoided.

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

A Stitch In Time

As the old saying goes,'A Stitch In Time Saves Nine.'
Nine what? Cats,Dogs,Whistles,Sprouts,Balls of Wool,pound coins?
Whichever way you polish it up,it's a shite saying isn't it?

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Unlucky Alf Strikes Again

Poor Unlucky Alf,everything he does turns to shit.This morning,after months of taking artificial sweetener his false teeth rotted and fell out!

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Scientist Invents Fog Horn

A South African scientist has invented a Fog Horn made entirely from fog!

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Kerry Katona has turned to the spirits in a desperate bid to find Mr Right

Vodka, Kahlua and Baileys.

written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Rating:

TV Meerkat Aleksandr Orlov to advertise 'Clearasil'

"Pimples".

written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Richard Key frozen out as he asks waitress for ice cream

'Do us a flavour, love'.

written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Botched Booty Girl was 'injected with Mouse'

Pathologist says cause of death 'Squeaky Bum'.

written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Mubarack treated in Cairo hospital for heart failure

'We couldn't find one' says surgeon

written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Bacon sells for £23m at auction

'They must have seen him coming' says Smithfield Pork Butcher.

written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Rating:

King's Speech Latest

The King's Speech could well turn out to be the cheapest Oscar winning film ever.

Producer Harvey Weinstein has put much of that down to the fact that there was only 50 words in the whole movie.

written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Pooh Bear Not Real

Winnie -The-Pooh,or Pooh to his mates isn't really a bear.Infact he isn't even real,just a series of drawings that luckily for the writer Kevin Mayhem, really took off.

written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Ancient Remains Found In Fife



Scientists in Fife have found tracks made by an extinct water scorpion called Shahoorsur.

Its the most significant archaeological find in the kingdom since the discovery in 1979 of the Shaboysur".

written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Smart Teenager Will Take Out His Revenge More Precisely

BIRMINGHAM - An A* student, will take out his revenge on school bullies. "When I grow up, I'll make sure they're the cleaners of my loo. That's too good. Be my clowns." Score one for intellectuals.

written by Inhopeless, 12 February 2011
Rating:

Mubarak, NBC reach settlement

Will leave Egypt's "Tonight Show" for undisclosed sum. New "Hosni!" show will debut on TBS when his no-compete clause ends in September...

written by Robin Berger, 12 February 2011
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