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Rating:

NYC Riot Police Break Up Manger Scene

Cops dismayed to find that church youth group they beat weren't members of Occupy Wall St. ACLU at a loss deciding whom to defend.

written by manbrad, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Sir Alex Ferguson joins David Cameron in "Exit Europe Campaign"!

Man United have joined the Conservatives in their "Exit Europe Campaign". Cameron personally thanked Sir Alex for his solidarity in the crap show against Basel. Sir Alex replied "dankerschoen"!

written by Jaggedone, 08 December 2011
Rating:

"Big price Drop!"

Tesco has suffered a fall in its UK sales for a fourth consecutive quarter, despite a (supposed) £500m discounting campaign!
"Every LIDL helps!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Gary Glitter's Children's Outfitters Business Slumps.

"I cant believe this! Why cant people just forget the past and move on?" said a dejected Glitter from outside a school yesterday afternoon.

written by Clive Danton, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Cure For Ovarian Cancer Found In Noel Edmonds' Trousers

"This is absolutely sensational news and almost makes up for me being a complete and utter tool" said a delighted Edmonds last night

written by Clive Danton, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Rooney 'goal' disallowed

In a controversial decision Wayne Rooney's third goal against Manchester City has been disallowed because he kicked the goalkeeper into the net with the ball.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Boris Pizza

A large collection of Boris Johnson's piss awful pronouncements have been collected into a giant Pissa.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Inflation

A balloon is suffering from extreme inflation and is threatening to burst if any more economic hot air is pumped into him.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

The End

After predicting the end of the world would be caused by the public sector one day strike David Cameron now envisages the end of the Universe if the Euro collapses

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Clarkson Ponders

What outrageous thing can I say to make sure everybody is talking about me?

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Torment in Hell

Jeremy Clarkson says he has been tormented by a vicious strike from a man from Hell who then committed suicide by jumping in front of Clarkson's car.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Nativity Brawl Arrest

Two people a child and donkey have been arrested after neighbours claimed they were squatting illegally.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Referendum

David Cameron is against a Referendum on Europe because he knows he would lose.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Hacking

I've been a Hack all my working life and now I get criticised for Hacking!

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Excuses

I was told off for parking in a Disabled Bay - what a cheek! I was disabled - I wasn't able to find anywhere else to park.

written by j.w., 08 December 2011
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan Is A "Winning" Loser

Lindsay Lohan has just been named by Dysfunctional Illustrated Magazine as 2011's Luckiest Bitch In America.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

The Future of The Penn State Football Program

Penn State University has stated that if everyone agrees to stop making Penn State football jokes they will promise to drop their football program and focus on girls volleyball.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Paris Hilton Shows Why She Is Hollywood's Top "Airhead"

Paris Hilton was asked which GOP presidential candidate did she feel won the last debate. Paris smiled for a few seconds and then replied, "I have to say I think it was Donald Trump, he's hot."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Regis Philbin Is Coming Back To TV Land

Regis Philbin is currently in talks with the Fox Network about developing a new reality game show to be called, Okay So Who Wants To Be A Political Groupie?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

NHS to Make Massive Savings in Surgical Gloves

NHS cutbacks mean that doctors will be able to remotely monitor patients in their own home and administer drugs without the need to wash their hands or use surgical gloves. They'll save water too!

written by IN SEINE, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne - To make more cuts!

Not surprising really, an anagram of his name is Serene go-go rob!

written by Inchcock, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Where Oh Where Is Aldi The Smoking Two-Year-Old?

Aldi, the infamous two-year-old smoking Indonesian baby is now 3, and he has taken up drinking vodka and is reportedly dating a nine-year-old girl.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Kim Kardashian Feels She Was More Than Generous

Kim Kardashian does not understand why her soon-to-be ex-husband Kris Humphries is all upset about the $2 million ring since she did agree to let him keep his clothes, his shoes, and his basketballs.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

The Cosmetics World Is Always On The Cutting Edge

Revlon has just announced its latest perfume - Eau du WiFi.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain Longs For The Good Old Days of Pizza Making

As if Herman Cain doesn't already have enough female problems now comes word that his wife just found an X-ray of Kim Kardashian's ass in his underwear drawer.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

John Goodman Can Sure Put Away The Groceries

John Goodman says that he has put on so much weight that he has to use MapQuest in order to find his mouth.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

What Is The CSI Quota?

This CSI business is getting out of hand with shows like CSI:Miami, CSI:Las Vegas, CSI:New York, and CSI:Los Angeles. Now comes word that coming this January will be CSI:Tijuana.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 December 2011
Rating:

They grow up so fast

Japanese baby food company recalls 400,000 cans of infant formula containing radioactive cesium after an enormous toddler nursed on it defeats sumo champion Yokozuna Hakuho.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Old habits die hard

Former Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich convicted of corruption charges, sentenced to 14 years in prison. They were going to send him to the electric chair, but he sold it.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 08 December 2011
Rating:

What Planet is the President From?

President Obama said that cutting government regulations to achieve economic success won't work. Then his increasing regulations by the thousands should have the US economy really cooking by now!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 December 2011
Rating:

Maybe a Four Left Legged Bull Moose

PRESIDENT OBAMA: I wannabe a progressive like Teddy Roosevelt. VP BIDEN: I knew Theodore Roosevelt and President Obama is not Teddy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 December 2011
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