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Spotted on EBay Today:

A genuine USAF unmanned aerial vehicle in almost airworthy condition with slight burn marks. Open to offers.

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
Rating:

31,000 People Complain about Jeremy Clarkson on the One Show

So far 31,000 people have complained about Jeremy Clarkson's comments on BBC's "The One Show"-a bit rich considering that The One Show only has 7,000 viewers. One wonders whether they have seen it?

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Teenage astronomer discovers Jupiter-sized planet

"I've told you a hundred times to clean up this room!" his mother shouted at her son, 17, who was searching for his telescope when he found the bloated gas giant under his bed.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Islamic Smart Phone Launched Today

An Indian company has launched an Islamic smart phone today. It contains the Koran in 29 languages and a GPS app which points towards Mecca. It also comes with a handy Burka holder and a prayer mat.

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
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Japanese Motorway Crash Was NOT Top Gear Stunt!

The BBC would like to refute claims that the crash that involved 8 Ferraris, a Lamborghini and a Toyota Prius was not part of filming the next series of top gear. The Stig declined to comment.

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
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Americans Report Missing Drone over Afghanistan

A USAF 'drone' has been reported missing somewhere over Afghanistan. Fortunately, the aircraft has been shot down over Iran. A USAF official said "we need to do something about that steering wheel!"

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
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ASPCC to Sue Ant & Dec

The Australian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Cockroaches is to sue Ant & Dec for allowing one of the little fellows to crawl up Fatima Whitbread's nasal passage.

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
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Toyota Blamed for Japanese Motorway CARnage

After all is said and done: "The car in front is a Toyota!"

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
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8 Ferrari's in Japanese Motorway Crash

After totalling his £20 million Ferrari in a motorway car crash involving 8 Ferrari's, 1 Lamborghini and a Toyota Prius, one driver was heard to cry, "oh borrocks, my new Fellali no craims bonus!!"

written by IN SEINE, 05 December 2011
Rating:

God lives in a massive black-hole!

US scientists have discovered God living in a massive black-hole in galaxy NC4889. It took them slightly longer to find God than Bin Laden, thank god!

written by Jaggedone, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Brit supermarkets are "Scrooges"!

Brit supermarkets have been caught nicking from their punters in the run up to Christmas. 1/2 price deals on offer are not because they hiked the prices up a 100% first! Scrooge turned in his grave!

written by Jaggedone, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Mute

Police in Munich Germany have found a mute politician in the basement of a department store. He was quickly rendered unmute by way of a taser and returned to his constituency. Police refused to talk.

written by whatinthe world, 05 December 2011
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Japanese luxury car pile-up led by Jeremy Clarkson!

British diplomat, Jeremy Clarkson, was leading a convoy of Ferraris to Hiroshima when a pile up happened. Jeremy gave his opinion about the driver who caused it, here his answer; "shoot the bastard!"

written by Jaggedone, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Bing ridicule Google

Bing have hit out at Google. "They must be really shit," said Bing project manager. "After all, it' an anagram of Loo Egg, which is a euphemism surely..."

written by IainB, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Joe Hart's Goalkeeping tips

Manchester City's goalkeeper, Joe 'All' Hart, has revealed the secret to his success. "During my training, I was told to make myself big," he said. "So I've been eating pies and pizza ever since."

written by IainB, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Grylls latest adventure

TV adventurer Bear Grylls has been rescued from a deserted island off Madagascar following a short stay. Rescuers found Grylls incoherent and mumbling something about "bloody BBC budget cuts". Gosh!

written by whatinthe world, 05 December 2011
Rating:

You better watch out - You better not cry - Better be good - I'm tellin' you why. . .

. . . the tabloids are hacking your phone

written by Swan Morrison, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Fido Is No Doubt Heading For Mexico (And Safety)

The Utah hunter who got shot by his own dog is reportedly doing okay. His dog however, was last seen heading for the Utah-Arizona border at a high rate of speed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Kim Kardashian Says She Is Totally Depressed

Kim Kardashian is said to be very depressed and wishes that people would stop focusing on her failed 72-day marriage and go back to focusing on important things like her humongous ass.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 December 2011
Rating:

The Reason Why The White House Christmas Tree May Be Returned

It is being reported that The White House Christmas tree may have to be sent back because a secret service agent noticed that someone had carved Palin in 2012 on the tree trunk.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 December 2011
Rating:

The Illegal Alien Tunnel Was Really State-of-The-Art

Border Patrol agents in Nogales, Arizona have just found a three mile long illegal alien tunnel that was so sophisticated that it had taco vendors and music speakers playing songs by Santana.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 December 2011
Rating:

The Santa Ana Friggin Winds Are Some Major Blowers

California's Santa Ana winds were clocked at 120 MPH or in hair terms, enough power to mess up the hairdo's of Donald Trump, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachmann in two seconds flat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 December 2011
Rating:

The Two Big Ones Are Merging

Reports are that Facebook and MySpace will be merging and the new name will be SpaceyFace.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Mother had Christmas presents stolen from her car on her driveway in Sherwood, Nottingham

She also had her leather jacket and some cash taken from the Mini Cooper's boot.

"In Nottingham... well I am surprised!"

written by Inchcock, 05 December 2011
Rating:

Bachmann unsure of what gays and lesbians are

Asked at a town meeting if gays and lesbians would be allowed to marry under her administration, Michele Bachmann replied that they certainly would, as long as a man married a woman and vice versa.

written by Lyndon, 05 December 2011
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