Pig Manure Is Used to Deter Youths from Drugs Den
Pig manure has been successfully used to deter a group of youths from using a den in the woods for the taking of illegal drugs. The smell is so bad that they are prepared to stay at home in their own bedrooms.
Bill Maher Makes Fun of Religion
Bill Maher raised eyebrows when he made fun of religious beliefs for only the 670th time this year. Ironically, even Jesus was funnier.
Mourners at Jong Il's funeral stomp feet, wail due to cold
A sign of respect for the recently deceased Kim Jong Il? Turns out it was no more than self-preservation. The tens of thousands who lined the funeral procession route jumped in place to stay warm.
written by Lyndon
, 28 December 2011
Police Cannot Charge Mobile Phones at Work
Thames Valley police are to forbid their staff from charging their mobile phones at work in a bid to save time and money. A spokesman said: "they should be charging criminals, NOT mobile phones!"
Bristol Student to Sue Red Bull
An 18-year-old physics student is to take court action against Red Bull after jumping off the Clifton suspension bridge and falling into the water. "It says on the tin, Red Bull gives you wings! It obviously doesn't work."
Battling priests in Jerusalem forgot to pray!
Two gangs of warring priests armed with brooms battled with each other in the place of Jesus's birth. They were so busy battling they forgot to pray so Jesus rejected them imediately, AAGH-men!
Riots in furniture shop in Bradford!
Not only Nike Air shoes cause riots, a furniture shop in Bradford flogging cut price 3 piece suites has had one too. Hooded rioters were last seen looting leather sofa's dressed in Nike Airs!
It Came From Pakistan - The Land of Outsourcing
A shepherd in Scotland found a missile on his farm that had Pakistani markings. Pakistan quickly issued a "No Comment."
The Reason Why Baltimore Has Casually Said "No"
The city of Baltimore is doing away with Casual Friday. A city official stated that way too many employees got so into the casual part that they just did not even bother to show up for work.
The Big Change In Viagra Is Coming Soon
The makers of Viagra have released a statement that soon Viagra pills will be made in the shapes of Fred and Barney Flintstone geared to those older men who really want to feel young.
It Looks Like The Tables Have Been Turned
In a 'You Can Dish It Out But Can You Take It Story,' a 57-year-old priest in Boston has been molested by a nine-year-old altar boy.
North Korea Flooded
Latest news reports say that North Korea has been flooded by crocodile tears of mourners attending the funeral of Kim-Jong-il today.
Cheetah, Tarzan's famous sidekick, has sadly died at the grand old age of 80. The chimpanzee's last words were: "OOO HEHE OOO AAA HE..O OAAA..O....H"
Scottish Metal Thief Arrested
A man was arrested at a scrapyard in Arbroath after he tried to sell 25 bottles of Irn-Bru, claiming that it was made from girders.
Biden has a plan?
US Vice President, Joe Biden, has announced he wants to eat a month's worth of chocolate in one day and then fart violently for a week. The resultant gas would power a small American town like Boise.
Duke receives treatment
The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Phillip, was released from the hospital after receiving treatment for his incontinence. The Royal houehold refused his continued presence 'til he fixed his bladder.
Patients to get full access to NHS medical records
Said Andrew (I go private) Lansley, even if they cannot get into hospital on time to cure their problems!
UK Prices crisis
Food inflation was twice as high during the same period as in the 90s, and water bills rose by a massive 63%. Overall, essential items rose 43%!
'More cheery news from the Coalition for the poor!'