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Heroin Found in National Archives File

A small white blob of powder was found in an original Jane Eyre manuscript. It was concealing the final two letters "ne" where Charlotte Brontë was describing Jane Eyre as a heroinne.

written by IN SEINE, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Tony Blair Reveals True Identity

Tony Blair is "BLACKBEARD". He has been advertising Jamaican rum for Blackbeard's in the Cayman Islands which is of course, a tax haven. This confirms reports of him being a pirate.

written by IN SEINE, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Hollywood Pays Tribute To The ITV1 TV Programme: 'A Night Of Heroes: The Military Awards'

This evening, in the spirit of the above show, Mickey Mouse has given an award to Superman.

written by Swan Morrison, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Boobs Go Bust

French government warning to women with silicone breast implants to call in at nearest hospital to have implants removed because dangerous reveals six million French women have fake breasts.

written by French Marilyn, 21 December 2011
Rating:

North Korea asks for help

North Korea, in the wake of the death of former President Kim Jong Il, has asked that McDonalds and KFC open restaurant chains in the country so that the people can chow down their miseries. What next

written by whatinthe world, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Bieber in charge

With the death of North Korean supremo, Kim Jong Il, power has now transferred to his adopted son, Justin Bieber, who immediately decreed that all North Koreans must buy his new CD. Well, why not?

written by whatinthe world, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Webcam and aliens

A Berkshire man has recently communicated with intergalactic aliens via his personal webcam. Nobody is sure how the aliens got in touch though one story goes that the man is really a martian. Whooah!

written by whatinthe world, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell, Jonathan Ross and John McCririck abducted by aliens

After 30 seconds and a quick glance to the heavens with a random 5-year old's Toys 'r' us' telescope, the search for them has been called off. Efforts to thank the aliens continue in the new year.

written by shufflewick71, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Cliff Richard Held After Drunken Rumpus In Church.

When confronted by the press he denied it vehemently saying "You're me besht mates you are! Gish a fag, g'wan gish a fag" and "I'll tek the f***'in lot of yers!"

written by Clive Danton, 21 December 2011
Rating:

David Cameron's trip to Afghanistan troops

The fool flew to visit troops whose jobs and pensions he is targeting with his pay-freeze and allowance cuts!

Photo's of Cameron's visit

written by Inchcock, 21 December 2011
Rating:

It Kinda Gives A Whole New Meaning To The Term "Holding Pattern"

Southwest Airlines says that in order to save money and to stay competitive they will soon begin eliminating bathrooms from all planes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Mistletoe?

A very puzzled TSA Pat Down Agent in San Francisco has reported that just in the past two days he has found four passengers with mistletoe hidden in their underwear.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Ricky Perry Is A Very Funny Cowboy

Some GOP members didn't see the humor in Rick Perry's Christmas cards which show Mitt Romney dressed as Santa Claus sitting on Sparky the Electric Chair with Elf Michele Bachmann sitting on his lap.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

The Tobacco Weevils Are Hungry Little SOB's and Bitches!

North Carolina tobacco growers are astounded at the fact that just since Halloween tobacco weevils have eaten over three tons of tobacco or 70 million cigarettes in Marlboro terms.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Did You Hear About The Michele Bachmann Piñatas?

Mexico has warned the United States that a shipment of 1,000 Michele Bachmann piñatas are defective since they do not contain candy and are filled with hot air, just like Bachmann.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Gary Busey Is One Sharp Bowling Ball

Scientists report that there may be humans living on the planet Saturn. Gary Busey remarks, "So tell me something I don't know."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Rod Blagojevich Has One Hell of A Sense of Humor

Rod Blagojevich, who was recently sentenced to 14 years in prison, reportedly told the warden that he would like to use his 'Get Out of Jail" card, thank you.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

The Country Formerly Known As Haiti

Haiti has decided that since the name of their country sounds like the negative word hate they will change it to the more pleasing sounding name Happi.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 December 2011
Rating:

Ken Clarke let's criminals off of £2 million in fines!

MPs were livid that criminals will avoid paying £3 in every £4 imposed.

A Nottingham Pensioner said: 'I wonder if I beg nicely, they might let me off of the Electricity bill I cannot afford to pay?'

written by Inchcock, 21 December 2011
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