Morris-dancing 'Flash Mobs' To Protest Against Absence Of Morris-dancing In Olympic Opening Ceremony
'We see this as a very British equivalent of the Arab Spring,' said a spokesman for the The Morris Federation.
Opponents of David Cameron Agree Their Stance Against His EU Veto
'We can't say we'd have agreed with EU treaty changes,' said The Criticise Cameron Campaign, 'so we'll say we'd have attended a summit in a parallel universe where no tough decisions were needed.'
Power Restored To Most Scottish Homes
'Much of the storm damage has now been repaired,' confirmed Alex Salmond. 'Thousands of Scots are now returning home from the pubs and fast food takeaways in which they have been sheltering.'
Chelsea News - AVB To Be More Proactive
Picks himself to play in midfield in Manchester City clash.
Spoofer Reachers Snippet Milestone!
Skoob1999 hits 500 - not a single one is remotely amusing!
North West Home Of Strongest Football Teams
Wigan, Blackburn and Bolton currently propping up the rest of the Premiership.
Sir Alex Reveals Christmas Wish List.
Eleven Cantonas! And an Eric Cantona!
Wonga.com Refuse Loan
'We realise that this is the only way Greece can get a loan,' sympathised the old chap from the Wonga.com advert, 'but, frankly, we haven't got 130 billion euros.'
Daddy I Never Knew Thee
Council housing chiefs are being branded sex snoopers after saying that every overnight visitor to a block of council flats must be signed in. At least everyone will know who there dad is now.
Drug Abusers Will Be Able to Rate Their Experience of Narcotics
… On TRIPADVISOR
David Cameron divorces Nick Clegg!
The messiest divorce of the century is about to happen, Cameron has divorced Clegg because he's having an affair with that "dirty nationalist slut" the other Nick, Griffin and his "Union Jack"!
Weekly World News To Merge With Fox News
Planned "two-tier" approach will add in more serious fare alongside Fox's regular content.
written by manbrad
, 11 December 2011
Simon Cowell's Head Explodes In Street
Dozens were injured and treated in hospital for severe Botox burns. A clearly shaken witness said "It was wicked! The moon-faced git had it coming"
Another Hunting Dog Has Shot His Master
Ten days ago a hunting dog in Utah shot his master in the butt. Now a hunting dog in Florida has shot his master in his thigh. Wow! It's a damn good thing that dogs aren't allowed to own guns.
Mitt "The Gambler" Romney Just Lost Some Percentage Points
During the last GOP Debate Mitt Romney offered Rick Perry a $10,000 bet. Great, that's just what we need a president who will say "Okay dude, $50,000 says I can level your effen country in 48 hours."
Diane Sawyer Was Just Being A Curious Female
During a GOP Debate commercial Diane Sawyer walked up to Michele Bachmann and commented on how nice her hair looked. Bachmann thanked her. Sawyer then whispered if the drapes matched the carpet.
Where Oh Where Is Herman Cain?
Just before the GOP Debate started Ron Paul turned to Rick Perry and asked him where Herman Cain was. Perry smiled and replied that Brother Herman has gone into the Witness Protection Program.
Nottingham's 2010 records
National 7.9% - Nottingham 14.9%
Overall Crime per 1000 of the population:
National: 1.9 - Nottingham 4.1
Come visit us sometime!
O Come All Ye Faithful - rewritten for the Coalition's Christmas celebrations!
O Come All Ye Unfaithful!
Commemorative: 2.6m BC: Tools... technology was born!
The first people to make and use them for killing were barely human at all - they were a human-like species called Homo habilis ('skilful person').
'We have come a long way, now our weapons can kill million at a time!'
Beckham: I won't manage after playing!
'I'm sure so many pensioners, especially those that will die through hypothermia this year again, will be pleased to hear that!'
The joke's on Iowa
Rick Perry presses Mitt Romney on a point at Iowa Republican debate. Romney jokingly wagers median income of Iowa that Perry is wrong. Perry calls, raises him one John Deare tractor.