Lunatics to Fine NASA
Lunatics, a people who live on the dark side of the Moon, have traffic wardens who are writing to NASA asking them to pay a 26-year parking fine of $72 trillionfor leaving their Lunar vehicle there.
The Most Commonly Spoken Language in the World Is…
There is one language that is spoken by most countries in the world. That one language that is common to all is… BAD LANGUAGE
UK Braces Itself for Tsunami of Criminals
It is expected that many more criminal immigrants will head for this country. Why serve 40 years/life at home, when you can get life over here for 7 years (31/2 years for good behaviour?
Britain to Be Declared Red Tape Free Zone!
Britain is to become a RED-TAPE FREE ZONE now that David Cameron has distanced the country from EU regulation. The entire nation will have a good Christmas!
The FTSE Index Expected to Hit Roof
… Now that David Cameron has vetoed the EU expectations of joining them! It is thought that Anglo/French relations are in jeopardy especially when we share an aircraft carrier.
New Word Discovered in European Parliament
A new word was uttered in the European Parliament on 09/12/2011 which has never been used before. The word was "NO". It was first coined by British Prime Minister, David Cameron.
Simon Cowell Critical After Being Shot In Face. Noel Edmonds Held!
Not really folks but I can dream can't I?
Miodrag Dzudovic begged UEFA for leniency for Rooney!
The player Wayne Rooney kicked to earn his red card has pleaded with UEFA to cut the England star's three-match Euro 2012 ban.
"No good begging without a back-hander there Miodrag midduck!"
Breaking News: Snip It
Area barber shop robbed. Police comb the scene for clues.
Lindsay Lohan Knows How To Work It!
Lindsay Lohan, ever the opportunist, says that when the issue of Playboy with her on the cover comes out she plans to buy dozens of them and pass them out to judges and district attorneys.
Mexico Will Not Put Up With Trespassers
Mexico is warning the United States that its citizens had better not try to sneak into Mexico to bring back cheap tequila, Corona Light, and maids.
Vice President Joe Biden Is An Easy Christmas Gift Guy
Vice-President Joe Biden was asked by his wife what he would like for Christmas. He did not miss a beat and answered "A $100 gift certificate to Burger Bandit."
Croatia Will Just Have To Mind Its Own Business
Word coming out of Croatia is that their planned invasion of India has been cancelled due to the fact that the used battleship purchase did not go through.
Kim Kardashian Will Now Have A New Show Without Kris
The E! Network has scrapped the planned Kardashian and Humphries show Kim and Kris since their marriage is history. E! is now considering a new open ended name Kim and Him.
Oprah Winfrey Is Serious About Losing Weight
Oprah Winfrey whose weight has really ballooned lately was asked what she would like for Christmas. She giggled and said that she would like to go on a diet and lose LeAnn Rimes.
Newt Gingrich Is Already Making It Perfectly Clear
Newt Gingrich has promised that if any white blonde females come forward and say that he harassed them in the past that they are lying just like the white blondes that caused Herman Cain to drop out.
Governor Chris Christie Has Herman Cain's Number
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was asked what he would like for Christmas. He immediately yelled out "Bunches and bunches of pizza!"
Jolly Olde St. Nick Is Very Rich
Many Occupy Wall Street protesters are telling fellow members not to dress up as Santa Clauses since St. Nick is actually a charter member of the 1 percent group.
Michele Bachmann Showed Her Lack of Savoir Faire
Michele Bachmann was asked what she thought about extreme couponing. She thought for a moment and said, "Well I'm not sure, but if it concerns something to do with gays and lesbians I'm against it."
It Wasn't Me
Corzine blames predecessors for MF Global's missing funds & Obama blames previous administration for the nation's economic problems. Copies of the liberal left Democratic excuse book are available!
Democratic Liberal Problem Solving
When 1% of the US population has a problem, Democrats come up with the most expensive and unworkable bureaucratic solution that penalizes the other 99% of the US population!
Food Safety Issue
FDA is to regulate consuming too much political rhetoric. The food police had complained that Democratic liberals are eating up all the CRAPPO that President Obama feeds them at political rallies!
Think One Termer
King Obama I known as the clueless one may have gotten on the Indiana 2008 primary ballot using forged signatures! When Americans make an election mistake it's a doozy!
Pelosi the Corrupt Hypocrite Speaks
The inside trader, in bed with Democratic Wall Street lobbyists, former HS Pelosi (D-CA) said "Republicans have another chance to decide whose side they're on, all Americans or the one percent."
You Never Know
Former NJ Governor Corzine may have hidden MF Global's missing $1.2 billion in his underwear, as he seemed a bit fidgety during hearings! (Maryland county executive's wife hid money in her panties.)
President Obama changes his mind about wanting GITMO closed, provided space is made available for housing former HS Pelosi, former NJ Governor Corzine and possibly former AG Holder!
Got Warp Drive?
NASA has advised astronauts going to the newly discovered planet Kepler-22b to pack two changes of underwear for the 600 light year journey!
Obama Plans to Stay Home
President Obama will not go on vacation to Hawaii, while Congress works on the end of year payroll tax deduction legislation. He plans be in the White House watching TV reruns of the West Wing!
We Know Better than You Do
The King Obama I arrogant mentality of "my way or the highway" seems to be infecting federal, state and local committees that interface with constituents by ignoring their input!
Obama Favors the Arrogant Bwana Class
President Obama's new middle class are the eggheads with college degrees who always know better then you, but have never gotten their hands dirty in the real world building things that have to work!