Average 37 Min to Get to Sleep
It takes 37 minutes to get to sleep using whale music and birdsong. Strangely enough, it only takes 5 minutes to get to sleep while listening to a Party Political Broadcast by the Conservatives.
UN to Libya: We're calling Batman
Caped Crusader to capture Gaddaffi
written by Indy87
, 05 August 2011
Mr.Bean crashes his F1 car because his Mini was broken!
Mr.Bean disguised as Rowan Atkinson has crashed his F1 car. It seems Bean's Teddybear called Teddy, wanted a drive too, he grabbed the wheel and they hit a passing tree, luckily Teddy wasn't injured!
The Ever Demanding Sarah Palin
Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin asked Vice-President Joe Biden to apologize for calling the Tea Party members terrorists. He did and said that he really meant to call them Republican terrorists.
The GOP Female Candidates Are Taking Over
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is now considering joining fellow females Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann and running for president. Perfect - The GOPs answer to The Three Stooges.
Maybe Sarah "Snow Plow" Palin Needs To Start Wearing Shorter Skirts
Sarah Palin is angry because with Michele Bachmann now running she no longer has the prettiest legs in the GOP race. Palin's legs have now fallen down to third place behind Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty.
The Stressful Stress Is So Gosh Darn Stressful
Well President Obama just turned 50, which is 70 in average people years.
The American Congress: Men, Women, and A Few Adults
Congress is the only place where so called adults can act repulsive, despicable, offensive, shameless, and obnoxious, and then turn around and vote themselves one hell of a pay raise.
Kathy Griffin Talks About The Pitter Patter Rumors
Kathy Griffin addressed the rumor that she is pregnant with Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby by saying that she hates men with muscles, accents, and wandering wieners.
Michele Bachmann & Joan Rivers - "Spacey" and "Space Alien"
Most people feel that Michele Bachmann has about as much chance of being elected president as Joan Rivers has of being boinked by Brad Pitt.
Jerry Lewis - The Sad Little Clown Without An Audience
Eighty-five-year-old Jerry Lewis apparently didn't hear the question right and went on for ten minutes ranting about how he is against 'Same Old Sex Marriage.'
Well Maybe He Can Ask Haiti
Japan has turned down President Obama's request for a Federal loan. A spokesperson for the Japanese government replied, "No loan, Bernie Madoff co-signer, no worth chit."
Man buys chain saw: saws neighbor's car in half, sends in survey saying chainsaw works just fine.
Police came to arrest him, but after demonstation, had to admit that the chainsaw really did work fine,
Florida woman discovers that pastries don't have any paste in them
The stripper thought the pastrie's paste would paste her pasties. Unfortunately, she made the decision in a hasty.
Scientist have discovered that stupid people are really stupid.
The study was done by the professors at MIT (Moron in Training). They just looked at each other and kinda made that conclusion.
Antarctica gay guy finds out that all the guys are gay. Either that or they are all really desperate.
Although it has been rumored that all the penguins are lesbians.