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Rating:

Irish Agriculture Minister Issues Warning

Ireland's Agriculture Minister has issued an advisory notice to the Irish people to perhaps finally find a replacement for potatoes. "Maybe fish or beans or something", he was quoted as saying.

written by padddy5, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Gooner Talks In His Sleep

"Oh, don't say they've scored again..."

written by Skoob1999, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Why There Will Never Be A Hurricane Kevin, Or Dave

It lacks gravitas.

written by Skoob1999, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Transfer deadline sensation: Liverpool put in an offer for Rooney!

In a last minute attempt to become a top team once again, liverpool have attempted to buy prodigal son Rooney with everything they own. A dry Sir Alex told them to "fuck off" in best Glaswegian!

written by Jaggedone, 29 August 2011
Rating:

United To Give Arsenal A Better Chance

Manchester United, who thrashed Arsenal 8-2 in Sunday's Premier League clash, have promised to give the London team more of a chance in their next encounter by fielding only nine players.

written by Darwin, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Mystic Meg warns Scott

An urgent message from Mystic Meg to West Ham's Scott Parker. 'Your transfer from West Ham to Spurs will result in being in a demoted team whilst West Ham go up!'

written by j.w., 29 August 2011
Rating:

The Missing 0

The only thing missing from Scott Parker's proposed transfer from West Ham to Tottenham is 0. The transfer fee should be £60 million not £6 million.

written by j.w., 29 August 2011
Rating:

Fifteen-year-old won't see movie unless it's R-rated

Martin Benoit of Harfold, Vermont, could see a free movie at Film Night every Wednesday at Harfold State College. But he won't see just any movie. "If ain't R-rated," he said, "it ain't got no balls."

written by Lyndon, 29 August 2011
Rating:

VP Gore Speaks

Former Democratic VP Al Gore says Americans should beat less meat to help reduce climate change. Oops that should be "eat less meat!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Green Collar Crime

The State of Texas has indicted several rabid environmentalist organizations and their lawyers on charges of killing jobs. Texas still has the death penalty!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Economic Improvement

Barack and Michelle Obama have introduced a new line of high fashion underwear. Since the Obama administration is always getting into American's pants, why not capitalize on it!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 29 August 2011
Rating:

President's Message on Hurricane Irene

President Obama, back from his Martha's Vineyard MA vacation, has urged Americans in the path of Hurricane Irene to formulate a plan just like his plan for US economic improvement!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Brooklyn Bridge for Sale

FED Chairman, Ben Bernanke blames this summer's US politics for financial upheaval. Pres. Obama, Democratic House and Senate leadership agree, promising to stop blaming former President GW Bush.



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 29 August 2011
Rating:

Never Let a Natural Disaster go to Waste

Rabid environmentalists blame increased hurricane damage on climate change. Sane people attribute it to the increased numbers of people living along the US eastern seaboard in coastal cities!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 29 August 2011
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