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Rating:

Ornithological Advice Wanted

I planted some birdseed.
A bird came up.
...Now I don't know what to feed it.

written by IN SEINE, 18 August 2011
Rating:

Queen Elizabeth II Buys America

Buckingham Palace confirmed today that as the US cash balance is now less than Her Majesty's personal fortune, she had repurchased the colony. Plans for the US include re-imposition of taxes on tea.

written by Swan Morrison, 18 August 2011
Rating:

Man Utd to move to Singapore!

The Glazer family are selling their English interests, they have sold old Trafford to Disneyland and United will move to Singapore lock, stock and barrel. Their Manchester fan base, 2 of them, cried!

written by Jaggedone, 18 August 2011
Rating:

BBC purchases rights to popular TV show formats

The BBC has announced a number of locally-produced adaptations of popular American programmes are in the works for 2012. Viewers can expect the premiere of "Guernsey Shore" sometime next May.

written by justinkav, 18 August 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann - Just Two Little Old Housewives

One of the main differences between the twin GOPettes Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann is that Bachmann buys her food at the grocery store whereas Palin stalks it, ambushes it, and shoots it.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 August 2011
Rating:

The Bus Days of The 50s Have Sure Changed

President Obama's Nationwide Bus Tour is going great. He told a crowd in Iowa "We've come a long way. Now not only do I not have ta sit in da back of da bus but I get ta drive da sumbitch as well."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 August 2011
Rating:

The Politician Formerly Known As Tim Pawlenty

Tim Pawlenty called the producer of Dancing With The Stars and said that now that he's dropped out of the GOP presidential race he'd like to appear on DWTS. Pawlenty was asked, "Who the hell are you?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 August 2011
Rating:

Newt Gingrich Will Continue To March On

Newt Gingrich, ever the optimist, was asked what he thought about coming in eighth in the Iowa GOP Straw Poll. He grinned and replied, "Well, it's better than ninth place."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 August 2011
Rating:

Gerrard Dipper's Dick

Flight attendants were shocked when famous French actor Gerrard Dipp waved his prick in first class. 'If you think that's a first class prick - think again' cried an airline official.

written by j.w., 18 August 2011
Rating:

Work Experience

A Government plan to send teenagers to the Seychelles for work experience is set to solve youth uemployment problem.l

written by j.w., 18 August 2011
Rating:

Allotment

Owners of allotments in Denton are puzzled. "Somebody's dumping top soil on the allotments," said one resident. "Each week there's more." Police are baffled. "The plot thickens," said DI Frost.

written by IainB, 18 August 2011
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