Army To Deal With Future Riots
David Cameron says he wants to see the Army on the streets of London. "Which fucking Army is that?" asked the Chief of Defence Staff.
"I think I just spotted Snooki!"
"Since when do they allow dogs on this beach?"
You remember going to the beach...
It's like Facebook without shirts.
Arnold Schwarzenegger - The Man Without A Maid (Sort Of)
Arnold Schwarzenegger no longer has a maid. He says he now dusts, sweeps, mops, vacuums, and makes the beds. He said it's working out great, but it was hell finding a maid's outfit that fit him.
The Action Figure Doll Is Normal
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, of The Jersey Shore, is the only celebrity whose action figure doll is actually bigger than her.
There Just Aren't That Many Jobs That Call For A Stand Up Insulter
George Lopez, whose TBS talk show Lopez Tonight was cancelled, did not waste any time. The next day he was at the unemployment office applying for food stamps.
LeAnn Rimes Gets Her X-Rays Back
LeAnn Rimes, who has slimmed down to 63 pounds, went in to have her ass X-rayed just like Kim Kardashian. Her doctor told her that the only thing he could see was the number 11.
The Chinese Laundries Are Leading The Way To The Future
Effective September 1, 2011, all San Francisco Chinese Laundries will no longer accept payment in American dollars. All transactions will be made in Chinese Yuan's.
Bayou State comedian Zydeco Dupree says that there is no politician in America who hates 'high definition' television more than Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer. NOTE: Google Image - Jan Brewer.
The Reason Why Hugh Grant Just Said "No"
The extremely gifted funny actor Hugh Grant was asked to portray Charlie Sheen in a movie about the "Space Cadet." Grant turned it down saying there was just no way he could possibly act that flaky.
The Pitter Patter of The Baby From Outer Space
Can you imagine the baby that Gary Busey and Roseanne Arnold would have. Just the very thought is illegal in seven states.
Germany celebrates 50 years after the wall by building a new one!
Germany's 50 year celebrations after the Berlin wall are sensational; they are going to build a new one! But this time they will do it correctly from The Baltic Sea to Bavaria, that'll keep em out!
Media encouraging riots
The never ending 'experts' in the media dribbling on about the riots are causing so much boredom, there is fear of more riots being stimulated.
written by j.w.
, 14 August 2011