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Rating:

Olympic Ambassador accused of rioting!

Judge demands Ferrero Rocher.

written by David St.John, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Riot on Brother, Riot on!

Shock monk arrest in Salford.

written by David St.John, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Flying Friesian cow lands on bonnet of a Citreon C5!

A UK flying Friesian cow landed on the bonnet of a passing Citreon C5; the cow was a reincarnated ballet dancer called Dame Margot; the driver an alien called Wurzel. They both had too much cider!

written by Jaggedone, 12 August 2011
Rating:

The $avings To The American Taxpayers Will Be Tremendous

The U.S. Postal Service plans to lay off 120,000 workers. They were quick to add that they will be replaced by homeless people whose cardboard signs clearly state that they will work for food.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 August 2011
Rating:

The Movie Will Certainly Move Many To Tears

Glenn Beck, Brett Favre, and Meat Loaf who are all well-known criers are all being touted to appear in a new motion picture called The Boys Who Cried Wolf.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Tiger Woods Is Now The Loneliest "Player" in America

The once great golfer Tiger Woods has now been reduced to being just another average golfer. He says he's thinking of quitting golf and concentrating on making commercials. For what? Condoms?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin May Be Going Through A Very Big Change

Oprah Winfrey who is an animal lover, says Sarah Palin needs to stop shooting animals as if she were Buffalo Bill. And if she can't then she definitely should get a sex-change operation.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Pistols at Dawn

Police had to be issued with water pistols to combat rioters because The Health and Safety Executive deems it dangerous to operate a water cannon. "Somebody might get wet!" A spokesman said today.

written by IN SEINE, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Film about the Tottenham Riots

Stephen Spielberg is to direct a new film about a brave tea lady who fights off many rioters in Tottenham, armed only with a cup and saucer. It will be called "CHA-RIOTS OF FIRE"

written by IN SEINE, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Police Cannot Use Water Cannon

David Cameron has had to back down on his promise to allow the police to use water cannon because they only have 3: 1 at Heathrow airport; 1 in Afghanistan and the 3rd was sold off with the Ark Royal.

written by IN SEINE, 12 August 2011
Rating:

DFS Puzzled

Furniture manufacturers DFS have been wondering why every one of their shops in the cities where there is rioting have not been looted.

written by IN SEINE, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Help find the God Particle!

Intelligent professor types using the Large Hadron Collider at CERN are requesting the help of thousands of internet users to come along with strong magnifying glasses to look for the Higgs boson.

written by David St.John, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Close Your Mouth

President Obama's response to S&P's downgrade of the USA's credit rating shows how clueless and in deep yogurt he is about solving the nation's economic problems.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Winston and Margaret Would be Proud

In Dalston, a group of 150 mainly Turkish restaurant & store staff protected their businesses. They chased off a gang of 50 to 60 youths, who had set a bus on fire & started smashing store windows.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Smells Bad, but It's Not Cheese

The Republican governor of Wisconsin awarded the Reverend Al Sharpton the "_ _ _ _" Head of the week award for excessive Democratic far left demagoguery during the State Senator Recall Election!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Environmentalist Hypocrites

Baltimore MD cuts down 30 full grown trees in front of city hall to put up a grandstand for a Grand Pre race. Don't recycle a plastic bottle & the rabid environmentalists come out of the woodwork!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Let Them Eat Cake

Health food advocates say eat potatoes and bananas. The food police say potatoes are too high in carbohydrates! The energy/environmental police say ships use oil to transport the bananas!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Department of Energy Scientist Gets Award

Scientist at DOE receives an award for inventing an engine that runs on bullshit. Claims he got the idea from listening to President Obama, House Minority Leader Pelosi & Senate Majority Leader Reid!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Bureaucratic Bullshit Added

The emissions from the DOE engine that runs on bullshit have been regulated by the EPA. The modified engine weighs twice as much, costs twice as much and gets half the fuel economy of the original!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Turn-About is Fair Play

National Wildlife Federation approves of the new Obama administration car/truck fuel efficiency standards. General Motors announced today they are going to set limits for wolf and polar bear hunting!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Lack of Leadership is Tiresome

President Obama takes a vacation on Martha's Vineyard MA at the plush Blue Heron Farm ($50,000 per week). Guess what the 14 million Americans who are jobless on unemployment insurance are thinking?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

President Obama's Credo

The road to USA financial ruin is paved with US taxpayer's hard earned money!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

A New Older Generation

For some senior citizens vacations in the Catskills and the Poconos have been replaced by cruise ships!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

Endless Cycle

The Arab spring is a group of fanatical religious thugs who will take power for 30 years. Then there will be another group of fanatical religious thugs who will take power for 30 years! Then…….

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
Rating:

About Retirement

Work for 50 years, skip vacations, put the kids through college & slowly invest in the stock market. Then President Obama spends $4 trillion, ruins the US economy & causes the stock market to crash!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 August 2011
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