Order by:
Rating:

Helpful Man Unwittingly Gives Away Fortune to Lost Traveler

A man helps out a lost traveler by writing directions down on the back of a lottery ticket and giving it to him. Ticket turned out to be jackpot winner, and the first thing winner's buying is a GPS.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Shut down the damned government already!

With economy just beginning to grow, most Americans actually relieved at prospect of government shutdown. Unproductive Congress preferable to counterproductive Congress, they say.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Autisitic brains are poled differently scientists claim!

Scientists have now proven what everybody else knew, autistic brains are poled differently and I can't do my shoe laces up either, clever bastards!

written by Jaggedone, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Ivory Coast guarantee cocoa supplies, "over my dead body!"

World's nr1 cocoa supplier Ivory Coast is in the middle of a bloody civil war, but still has promised to deliver their cocoa beans, the leaders of the warring fractions countered "over my dead body!"

written by Jaggedone, 05 April 2011
Rating:

The Most Widely Seen Fall In 'Dancing With The Stars' History

Several members of the Dancing With The Stars studio audience reported feeling a vibrating sensation just moments before Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Kirstie Alley took their devastating fall.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Donald "The Hairdo" Trump Is On A "Birther" Tear

Donald Trump who has demanded to see President Obama's birth certificate now also wants to see the birth certificates of Whoopi Goldberg, Kanye West, Oprah Winfrey, Kobe Bryant, and Snoop Dogg.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Colonel Gadhafi Shows He's Just Like Glenn Beck and Jesse James

A recent CNN interview with Colonel Moammar Gadhafi in his Tripoli mansion revealed an Adolf Hitler Cuddle Pillow in the background.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Why In The World Is Hugh Hefner Getting Married???

When 97-year-old Hugh Hefner was asked about his upcoming marriage he got a puzzled look on his face and asked, "Ah what exactly does upcoming mean again?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan By Any Other Name Would Be Just As "Messed Up"!

Lindsay Lohan who said she is planning on dropping her last name has now said that she may just change her mind and drop her first name, or maybe drop both and change her name to Parasite Hilton.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Taylor Lautner Admits To 'Product Placement' In The Latest "Twilight" Movie

Taylor Lautner has admitted that he sneaked a "Count Chocula" Cereal Box into one of the main scenes of the latest Twilight movie.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

These Space Aliens Do Get Around!

Van Halen's Sammy Hagar claims that he was recently abducted by space aliens who told him that they know Charlie "Winning" Sheen personally.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Rush Limbaugh - The Movie Star!

Julianne Moore who will be portraying Sarah Palin in an upcoming movie revealed that Rush Limbaugh has agreed to make a cameo appearance as Bullwinkle - Palin's Pet Moose.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Florida - The "Raincoat" State?

The Florida Department of Safe Sex has released figures showing this year's group of Spring Breakers broke the all-time Florida record for condom use by purchasing a little over 17 million condoms.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Donald Trump Announces His Vice-Presidential Running Mate

Donald Trump who is running for president in 2012, says he will ask Joan Rivers to be his vice-presidential running mate. Trump said they'll campaign as The Hair & The Stare.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Gbagbo and Mugabe granted safe passage to Tripoli

'We'll only need one rocket now' says NATO.

written by pinxit, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Con Trick

The Health Service is fine, but there are too many people so keep the service for those who deserve it. Universities are fine but keep those for the deserving as well - those who are on top.

written by j.w., 05 April 2011
Rating:

Led Zep Tribute Band Robbed

A Led Zeppelin tribute band have had their guitars stolen from one of the group's home.

Although police enquiries are continuing, its believed that the thieves came In Through The Out Door.

written by grimbo, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Obama's Showing the Stresses of the Presidency, Bush Anticipated a Call Eventually

White House officials for President Obama used the services of a remote viewer to locate the place President Bush hid the key to the liquor cabinet. Bush expected this would happen sooner or later.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Kate Plus Octomom Divided by FedEx Guy Equals Disaster

Kate Gosselin had Octomom and her litter over for a playdate, but things went from mildly amusing to downright weird, as a fight broke out not over toys but the FedEx guy. Both women wanted him badly!

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Shows Why She Is So Geographically Challenged

The Republic of China borders 14 countries and contrary to what Sarah Palin may think, Mexico is not one of them.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Paris Hilton Visits Paris, France

Paris Hilton was asked on her trip to Paris what she thought about Mt. Blanc, France's tallest mountain. The actress replied she thought it was nice of the French to honor Mel Blanc in that manner.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Brazil's Most Popular Sport Is Now Officially Soccer

Soccer is now the most popular sport in Brazil. It has just surpassed the sport of making babies.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

The Word Argentina Came From Poland

The word Argentina is derived from the Polish word Argentinanalski which means Land of The Baby Pampers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Apples' Steve Jobs announces opening of first restaurant

The "iHop" will focus primarily on breakfast and will be opening in the spring.

written by Randy Sandhofer, 05 April 2011
Rating:

New Job Creation

MacDonald's is to hire 50,000 workers this year for their fast food restaurants. The food and obesity police objected, but were told by President Obama to shut-up and eat their Big Macs and fries.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Doing the Hoki Poki

President Obama was a reluctant bride with respect to Libya involvement. Now Obama pulls US attack aircraft out of the fight in Libya. Whose side is the US Commander in Chief on, anyway?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
Rating:

A Tad Late

Rabid environmentalist-vegans protest the extinction of the dinosaurs as these animals ate their weight in insects every day, thus protecting organic farms!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Obama's Among the Missing

President Obama is still missing or reversing himself on the economy/jobs Libya, middle-east policy, 2011/2012 budgets, energy policy & 9/11 terrorist trials at GITMO. But not on reelection in 2012!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Caught it from from President Obama

The Democratic governor of MD is not getting some issues through the legislature. He plans to emulate President Obama by using the state's regulatory agencies to circumvent the democratic process!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Big Brother's Alive in the Big Apple

The NYC Health Department's food/behavior police say no more deep fried foods, bottled water, stinky perfumes, cookies, decorations, loud talking and eavesdropping allowed in their cubic villages.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
Rating:

Not Religious Enough for Some Folks

Taliban suicide bombers struck one of Pakistan's important Sufi Muslim shrines, killing 42 men, women, & children, wounding 100. Where are other Muslim nations protesters, oh a Koran wasn't burned!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 April 2011
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