Americans to FDA: "We Don't Care if it's Bad for us, We Just Care About the Taste."
Americans told FDA "We don't care if it's bad for us, we just care about the taste."
In response to Americans, the FDA stopped being so strict on grading and approving food.
Rebecca Black Hospitalized at Stadium
Already known by hardly choosing which seat to choose in a car with 1 free, Rebecca Black hospitalized after walking into a football stadium and being overwhelmed with the number of seats to choose from.
Neil Warnock Denies Nickname Rumours
In Sport News, QPR manager Neil Warnock has denied that people sometimes call him horrid names.
'Colin Wanker isn't an anagram of my name,' he said.
'It is you know' said an insider.
Arcade Fire's Tyres
Canadian Rock Superstars Arcade Fire have brought out a range of affordable Bicycle Tyres to help cyclists everywhere.
'Just in case the Band goes Tits up' said singer Win Butler.
Barefoot Lady Wins 1000 Guineas
Racing News just in, a Barefoot Lady has won the 1000 Guineas race, which is a remarkable 'feet' in itself!
'She's just very quick' said Trainer, Richard Fahey.
Morris Dancers to Allow Women
English Morris men are to allow women, but only to play musical instruments, make sandwiches or to play the part of the Dragon (which is most apt). The one thing they cannot do is DANCE.
Charlie Sheen Has Just Said "No" To The Royal Wedding
Charlie Sheen has stated that he will not be able to attend the Royal Wedding. He did say that he is giving his invitation to Gilbert Gottfried.
The Reason Why The "Once Popular" Paris Hilton Is Depressed
Reports are that 'Do Nothing" socialite Paris Hilton was seen walking around a mall in Tarzana asking shoppers if they knew who she was. Roughly about 87 percent replied that they had no clue.
Helen Hunt Wins Yet Another Award
Helen Hunt has just been named The Celebrity With The Biggest Forehead in The History of Hollywood. Grauman's Chinese Theater wants to have a talk with her about you know what.
Piers "The Royal Dude" Morgan Is One Happy Camper
The host of Tonight With Piers Morgan is thrilled to say that Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Prince William, and Kate Middleton will be flying to New York to appear on his show.
Irish and Scottish Scientists Team up to Produce Small Hadron Collider
All for saving money, Scottish scientists are to build a Small Hadron Collider for just £6000 (just a fraction of the £6 billion Large Hadron Collider). The Irish plan to use leprechauns to operate it.
Dog Particle found?
A dyslexic scientist found it in a poo bag in a playing field at CERN, Geneva, Switzerland yesterday.
God Particle Found
The elusive particle has been found in the most unexpected place... after Tony Blair underwent CT scan of his brain. It clearly explains most of his deluded polices when in office as PM.
Monica Lewinsky Turns 50
Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday.
She was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth...
They grow up so fast, don't they?
Moron Appreciation Day
May 1 is moron appreciation day when Americans send off-color greetings to their most incompetent ideological politicians, environmentalists, lawyers, animal rights activists, vegans & food police!
Bring in a Sleep Expert
USDOT Secretary LaHood has asked VP Biden to look into the sleeping air traffic controller issue. After all, VP Biden is an expert at falling asleep during President Obama's budget speech!
The 11th Commandment
God told Moses Thou Shall Not Condone Environmentalists. Unfortunately there was not enough room to fit this commandment on either of the clay tablets!
We Told You So
President Obama's Task Force investigating the increase in US gasoline prices issues its preliminary findings. The one page report says "Drill Baby Drill!"
More of Obama's Campaign Rhetoric
A Mr. Shakespeare hearing President Obama speak about his clueless administration's attempts to make the USA energy independent remarked "Double, double toil & trouble; Fire burn, & caldron bubble!"
British Upset At Audacity Of Americans
"Why aren't they cancelling schools next week in honor of the Royal Wedding?"