Order by:
Rating:

Donald Trump and Glenn Beck Make Major Announcement

Donald Trump and Glenn Beck, both staunch capitalists, have announced they're running together for the White House, but neither can decide who should be boss. They'll flip for it with a gold coin.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Jellyfish Are A Part of The Jamfish Family

A jellyfish is 95 percent water, 4 percent jelly, and 1 percent peanut butter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

The Reason Why The 'Fake' Cowboy In Vermont Disappeared

A drugstore cowboy in Montpelier, Vermont broke the unwritten rule and revealed that a ten-gallon hat really only holds six pints.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

The Cat That Certainly Deserves More Cat Chow

Animal control workers in Milwaukee reported finding a highly unusual cat that can actually meow in four different languages.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Animal Kingdom Talk

An adult giraffe has the longest tongue in the world; 21 inches. Even longer than the tongues of Gene Simmons, Maria Kanellis, Ke$ha, and Ann Coulter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Clegg in Trouble

Nick Clegg is reliably reported to be up the Duffy.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Abramovich to sell Chelsea if they lose against Man Utd!

Roman Abramovich has sworn he'll sell Chelsea if they lose to Man Utd tonight! Sotheby's have already been informed and several Arabs have been consulted, they're suckers too, look at Man City!

written by Jaggedone, 12 April 2011
Rating:

If The Songs Were Laid End-To-End They Would Reach The Moon

Sony is developing an iPod that can hold an astounding 17 million songs. Executives are busy trying to figure out a way to reduce the retail price of $2,989.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

To Serve, Protect, and Defend No Matter How Silly The Case May Be

The police officer who sprayed mace on a baby squirrel in front of school kids says that he thought the baby squirrel had a gun.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

The New and Improved Panama Canal?

An 8.8 earthquake rocks Panama. There are no injuries reported but the Panama Canal is now located in Costa Rica.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

The Cold World of Reality Shows

The reality show The Real Housewives of The Yukon is cancelled after the shows premier gets extremely chilly reviews.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Gbagbo captured at last!!!

Frodo, Pipin, and Gandalf are next!!!!

written by the edgy gerbil, 12 April 2011
Rating:

New Rules for TV Drama

All TV channels have agreed to limit the number of deaths in dramas to two, with just one being preferable. This will encourage writers to develp stories without death coming into every other scene.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Middle Earth Stirring

The Middle Earth is experiencing a growing number of uprisings. This explains the increasing number of earthquakes.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

World Cup Draw Shock

In the first round a dramatic tie between Libya and the Ivory Coast may have four teams playing.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Wayne on the Wane

Wayne Rooney is sinking fast in the popularity polls of young football fans. 'He's hardly got any swear words to shout about' complained one.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

The Devil of a Job

Finding the devil in the detail is a new task for Evangelical groups rigourously reading the small print.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

B & B Dread of Sham Marriages

Bed and Breakfast owners are worried by increasing numbers of people in sham marriages who are visiting their establishments. 'I am tired of Mr & Mrs Smith always coming to stay' complained one.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Inflating Ego Alarm!

A new inflation worry is the increasing egos found among the lower classes. 'People's heads are becoming too big for their boots' complained Felicity Brasenoe-Skint.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Radiators now on Level 7

Japanese radiators have excelled at heat provision. 'This is heat that that can inside you and warm up future generations' claimed radiator salesman Yo Ful.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Nick Clegg Disappears

LibDems have lost their leader so they have been unable to get a photo of him for their local election leaflets.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

New Idea for Miserable People

Whining and Dining.

written by j.w., 12 April 2011
Rating:

Someone Must Have Put The 409 To It

American archaeologists in Egypt recently made an amazing discovery in a newly found pyramid. They reported finding no wall drawings, paintings, hieroglyphics, or graffiti.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

TV Chef Nigella Lawson At The "Top" Of Her Field

Television chef Nigella Lawson remarked that she did not appreciate Russell Brand saying that if her tits weren't so friggin big she could probably see the ingredients that she is actually chopping.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Governor Howard Stern Does Have A Nice Ring To It

Shock Jock Howard Stern says that he is seriously considering running against Arizona Governor Jan "the Man" Brewer and after he's elected he will force her to move up to Wisconsin.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

San Francisco Soon To Be 'The Land of The Tree Choppers"

The city of San Francisco in an effort to try and get away from the stigma of being a mecca for gays and lesbians plans to offer 2,000 Washington state lumberjacks free housing for two years.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Advice For Snippet Writers...

If you can't do it in one line - don't even go there!

written by Skoob1999, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Meat Eaters

PETA members picketed the circus, while it was in town. The tigers used in a wild animal act all had "PETA INSIDE" stenciled on their sides in vegetable dye!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

President Obama on Vacation until Next Tuesday

Rev. Jackson, Rev. Sharpton, Rev. Farrakhan and a representative of the New Black Panther Party came to the White House this Thursday. The WH Chief of Staff put them all in a conference room!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Taxpayers Overjoyed

A referendum is proposed to change Maryland's General Assembly session from 90 days to 45 days like neighboring Virginia. Maryland taxpayers will save billions of dollars in unnecessary spending!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Kitchen Table Economists and Practical Engineers Needed

Reducing the national debt is like achieving renewable energy. Both goals won't happen overnight, will take decades & require firing the far left wing Democratic ideologue economists & scientists!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Press Release

The White House press secretary released a statement from President Obama about the negotiations that stopped the government shutdown; Oops, Boehner Aced My Administration!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Full of Something

Tea Party Republicans came to Washington DC not to "kill women," but to give House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA), Representative Slaughter (D-NY) and other left wing ideologues high colonics!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Arab League in Crisis

The Arab League accused Iran of aggression against Arab nations by buying up all the toilet paper in the middle-east, fostering smuggling. They called on the UN to help get them out of deep do-do!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

President Obama's 2011 Budget Compromise

WH press secretary said President Obama has cut annual spending, while still protecting tax money for environmentalists, animal rights, food police, lawyers, unions, vegans & intrusive regulations!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

New Chef Needed in the Kitchen

Republicans are planning to send President Obama back to Chicago IL in November 2012, like an overrated, four year old, undercooked deep dish pizza with soggy anchovies!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

No Free Lunch

President Obama plans to skip lunch for the next few days. It seems that Republican House Speaker Boehner has already eaten it, with respect to the 2011 budget compromise!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

The Obama Fiscal Plan

"President Obama has long been committed to finding ways for the nation to spend within its means." Specifically, Obama plans to keep all taxpayers money except for lunch, gasoline and beer money!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

The USA Tax Code is Taxing

Albert Einstein described the most complicated physical phenomena in the world using three variables. Yet the US Tax Code requires 44,000 pages and probably employs as many lawyers!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
Rating:

Smart Doggie

First dog Bo gives advice to President Obama, woof-woof. Translated, it means stop trying to tax the 2% that are rich (earn over $250,000) & get the 47% who don't pay any taxes to pony up their share!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 April 2011
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