Gary Glitter Spotted in a City
The reviled former popular music star (real name Alvin Stardust) has been spotted in a Welsh city that has children living in it. Local residents are outraged. The authorities haven't been informed.
NHS Spending More On Post-Its Than Operations
An NHS whistle-blower has released papers showing the disparity between Post-Its and operations. £97billion was spent on 'stickies' in the financial year 2009-2010 compared to £24,987 for operations.
Third Miliband brother found...
Footballer 'not yet been accused of rape' shock!
A Premiership footballer, as yet unnamed, was surprised to discover that he hasn't been accused of rape by an airhead WAG-wannabe... His teammates are casting doubts on his sexuality. More news later.
Yakubu seen eating 7 Big Macs
Fans expect either a goal romp or a mini stroke.