Order by:
Rating:

Local man upset to get Rolex as present from the lesbians next door.

"I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch"

written by matthatt, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Slipknot announce new masks modelled on "Muppets"

Slipknot have unveiled new mask designs for their new album,due in November.The metallers are set to don headwear based on Jim Henson's Muppets.Frontman Corey Taylor said "I'm happy with Rowlf"

written by Nick Ers, 19 September 2010
Rating:

John Prescott's Disappearance Corresponds with Oil Spill Seal

Former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott has disappeared from his home, just as reports come in that the Mexican Oil Gulf Spill has finally been sealed.

written by masterchev, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Gamer uses XBox Live avatar on driving licence

"It's kind of awkward if the Saxo gets pulled over by the pigs,'cos I have to look like an animated loop of a headshot from Saving Private Ryan for a minute,but it's worth it" said a prat yesterday.

written by Nick Ers, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Vatican admits that Pope Paedo XVI Wikipedia page may have been hacked

Journalists rely on the internet resource nowadays instead of real writing,so the news comes as no surprise to many,after last month,Justin Bieber had to issue a statement that he was 16,not "300".

written by Nick Ers, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Pope: "I can selfsuck"

The Pope proudly revealed to a London crowd that he can suck his own penis. Apparently it is common in the Catholic church, because priests have a lot of time on their hands and masturbation is a sin.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Susan Boyle enters Guinness record books

Susan Boyle has officially entered Guinness record books as the ugliest woman to ever have a hit song.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Channel 4 admits cancelling Big Brother was "A big mistake"

Channel 4 executives admit they had been "Premature" in ending hit reality show Big Brother."We've forgotten how to make programmes!" panicked show head Peter Plapp."Has anyone seen Skins?"

written by Nick Ers, 19 September 2010
Rating:

We Don't Spy On the Public...

Admitted Colin Myler, Editor of the News of the World in a private phone conversation earlier today.

The reason it was private? It was a conversation between me and my girlfriend.

written by masterchev, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Pope is a Time Lord!

The UK was in shock this morning as the Pope beatified a Brummie Priest who lived in the 19th Century. Many suspect his Popemobile to have access to the past (bigger on the inside) and await evidence

written by masterchev, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Justin Bieber voted sexiest man alive

UNITED STATES- A recent street poll has declared teen heartthrob Justin Bieber sexier than George Clooney, Robert Pattinson and late singer Elvis Presley combined. Poll organizers were not surprised.

written by Lara Bruton, 19 September 2010
Rating:

No bollocks

Thousands of demonstrators in London protest, dissatisfied that Pope Benedict is giving pedophile priests a rap on the knuckles with a ruler when he ought to be removing their testicles.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Just a cotton-picking minute

President Obama urges black voters to help defeat Republicans who want to "turn back the clock." With unemployment already at levels not seen since the 1930's, revival of sharecropping looms.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

More of the same

Blackwater Petrol officials prepare to declare Gulf oil spill plugged Sunday as relief well intersects blown-out well. Meanwhile, news of the official declaration has already been leaked.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Afghan voters say turnout low

Dozens of rockets fall on Kandahar city throughout election day, hit near polling centers in the country's north and east. Voters said they were expecting hundreds, even thousands of rockets.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Don't forget your vegetables

Fans with backstage passes to Music Video Awards shocked to discover Lady Gaga - still wearing her meat dress - with a broccoli spear inserted in her vaginal tract and a carrot up her arse.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Food for thought

FDA votes Monday on whether to approve genetically modified salmon that mature in half the time on 25 percent less feed. Can't we just do the same thing to people? Then we would need less salmon.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

How to put spin on a golf ball

Former Bush advisor Karl Rove criticizes President Obama for lavish vacations, playing more golf than Dubya - who set a record for spending more than 1/3 of his presidency, 1020 days, on vacation.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Pakistan Needs More Aid Money

UN says Pakistan needs more aid money for relief of flood victims. It seems the Pakistani government didn't have much trouble obtaining funding for their nuclear weapons development programs!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Strange Lawsuit I

Man sues Madam Fife for giving him a sexually transmitted disease. He claims he only walked by her House on his way to and from the bus stop, for over 20 years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Strange Lawsuit II

Man sues fast food restaurant for giving him a heart attack. He claims he only walked by the place to and from work, inhaling the aroma for over 20 years!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Strange Lawsuit III

Man arrested for "hands free" driving, pleads innocent & then sues state. He claims he was not using a cell phone, having his hands on his girlfriend's tatas. She was sitting in the passenger seat.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Five Time Loser

CHP stopped a person driving drunk, talking on a cell phone, not wearing a seat belt and having an expired driver's license. Her choice was to be shot at dawn or go to REHAB with Lindsay Lohan!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Animal Rights Group Scandal

Several animal rights group members were caught eating bacon & eggs each morning for breakfast. Others in the same group admit to eating steaks & owning real fur coats. What's this world coming too!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Panic at the Political Extremist Convention

Pandemonium broke out at the Political Extremist Convention when liberal left wing nuts were seated on the right side of the auditorium and conservative right wing nuts were seated on the left side!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Attention Shoppers

Sarah Palin goes after values oriented voters. The former Governor of Alaska plans to open a K-Mart in Fairbanks AK. Oops, there is already one there!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Rumors about a Military "DRAFT" Reinstatement

Reinstatement of a "DRAFT" is a bad idea until the USA reinstates the US Constitution when it comes to declaring war on anybody. Especially, using those cockamamie rules of engagement in Afghanistan!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

OSHA Bans Sharp Pulses

OSHA is afraid electronic/electrical engineers will hurt themselves! Silicon Valley computer and related electronics industry employees collapse with laughter. Obama health care system overloaded!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

President Obama Courts the Black Vote for 2010 Mid-Terms

The president spoke to various black political groups about voting for Democratic Congressmen in 2010. He could only see lots of angry white eyeballs among the gatherings of blue and red state voters!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

A Moron is still an Idiot

Democratic liberal left junk scientist changes name global warming to global climate disruption. Does that mean rape is now unauthorized penis insertion and murder is permanent human termination!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Democratic and Republican Moderates Take Heart

GOP/Tea Party Congressmen elected in 2010 must not take their eyes off the economy, taxes & jobs. Deviation to social issues of abortion, homosexuals will solicit a presidential veto or Filibuster!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Dropped one little Final "e"

President Obama sent Michelle a message while on one of his foreign trips that read "Having wonderful time, wish you were her." (Final "e" dropped in text.)

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Consumer Protection Advocates

USA consumers go to the polls in November 2010. The people are going to protect themselves by rejecting an arrogant Democratic liberal left Congress that is completely out of touch with Americans.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

November is Flu Season

President Obama defends his health care reform bill. Democratic liberal left Congressmen are worried about their own health, as the Republican Flu is expected in November. Vaccine is in short supply!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Hurricane Karl to Hit Mexico

Pres. Obama blames Republicans for any loss of life in Mexico caused by Hurricane Karl. The president indicated that had the Republicans passed an amnesty bill, more Mexicans would be safe in the USA!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Takes One to Know One

Obama is like the PLO, as nothing is ever ideologically good enough. Therefore, nothing substantial ever gets accomplished because the administration fails to reach a compromise with political foes!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Words do Matter

If Barack Obama was president of the USA in 1987 and gave one of his apologetic speeches at the wall in Berlin Germany, we might all be speaking Russian today!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Another Obama Election Year Jobs Bill

President Obama's campaign finance reform bill creates jobs for IRS agents (tax cheats in his administration), Democratic liberal left lobbyists, union propagandists, and trial lawyers.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Ideology or Economic Stupidity during a Recession

Historians will ponder the period of 2009 to 2011. The wisdom of a president who continued to spend money the USA did not have and a Congress who kept adding pork to programs not wanted or needed?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

Mid-Term Election, Speaker Pelosi Press Release

Democratic liberal left Congressmen are working hard to continue losing jobs, weakening the economy, aiding President Obama in his plans of wealth redistribution and elimination of the Bush tax cuts.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

In the Land of Oz I

Momentum is being gained among Democrats in the US House to retain the Bush tax cuts, in addition to Republicans. Wicked witch of the left Pelosi won't bring it to the floor for an up or down vote!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

In the Land of Oz II

Senate Majority Leader Reid, the scarecrow with no brain, is having a wet "DREAM" loaded with pork spending while the USA is getting stuck deeper in the fiscal muck!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

In the Land of Oz III

At the White House the ideological economic wizard behind the curtain fiddles with consumer protection, while Rome burns. Unless of course the president is on vacation, doesn't matter much!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2010
Rating:

But, I studied so hard!

Lindsay Lohan confirms via Twatter that she failed a court-ordered drug and alcohol test. Lohan: "WTF?? Shouldn't a perfect score be like an 'A' if you blow a 4.0?"

written by The San Francisco Onion, 19 September 2010
« Aug 2010 September 2010 Oct 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
84
2nd
119
3rd
111
4th
116
5th
77
6th
112
7th
99
8th
119
9th
124
10th
129
11th
74
12th
79
13th
97
14th
101
15th
84
16th
86
17th
110
18th
24
19th
44
20th
12
21st
25
22nd
46
23rd
62
24th
33
25th
34
26th
5
27th
17
28th
25
29th
12
30th
18
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

6 4 2 16


Go to top