Order by:
Rating:

Afghanistan Splitting Up!

Study: Afghanistan could become a failed state and be cut up into four countries. Which is good news since there are now 21 groups fighting each other.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Groundhog Screwed Up

Groundhog says that we'll have six more weeks of warm weather...and that he's stoned out of his mind on fermented grain.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

I've Noticed More Signs

Study: Housing crisis linked to lack of houses being sold, built.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Mars Rover Reporting Again

Mars Rover reports back that Mars is afraid that our global depression will spread to them. Will loan the US one billion Herns!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Navy Makes Deal With Whales

The US Navy has made a breakthrough with the whales. If we will stop running sonar during their mating for an hour, they will quit singing while we conduct maneuvers.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Driving Tops List of Mobile Phone User Irritations

Cell phone users cite having to pay attention to the road while driving and talking as their number one peeve.

written by manbrad, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Carbon Thieves Caught

Police in Nashville, Tennessee say they have tracked down the carbon footprints of carbon thieves and caught them stealing carbon black-handed.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Warned By Jeremiah Wright

President Obama says that FOX Network is backed by Nazis and demons.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Bear hunting season

Animal rights activists are up in arms over a resuming of bear hunting. "It's bad enough when people hunt animals while wearing clothes!" said one.

written by IainB, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Americas prayers answered

Osama Bin Laden eats shit and dies

written by truybill, 12 September 2010
Rating:

ASSteroid strike

AnuSol Steroid cream will not be made for over a week, starting on Monday. It is hoped that stockpiles will last until manufacturing is resumed.

written by IainB, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Just A Theory

Fellow Americans' suspicions frustrate US Muslims. Might because of all the bombings and killings in the daily news.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Misunderstood Question?

Senator Barney Frank says that he would support a middle ass movement.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
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Counter-Parties

Coast to coast, tea partiers promote their cause! West Coast may start the Merry Marijuana Mobs!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Tougher Bank Rules

Global regulators agree on tougher bank rules, including putting a log chain on those pens in the lobby.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Maybe A Little Lower

Boehner says he'd support a middle-class tax cut. "What's middle class these days $150,000-$250,000?"

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

US Military to Introduce Fleet of Stealth Farm Tractors

Tractors aren't just for harvesting any more. These stealth tractors not only mow down enemies, but shoot lasers. These bad boys are so stealth that no one has yet been able to photograph them.

written by Nik Voelz, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Paris Hilton is not a hotel! Official

Despite her name and the hoards of people coming and going inside her, Paris Hilton is not a hotel.

written by armfeetandtoe, 12 September 2010
Rating:

John Boehner Admits He Hates Poor People, Babies and Puppies

Bob Schieffer was able to get his guest, John Boehner, to admit that he and all Republicans hate poor people, babies, puppies and everything else that is not related to the wealthy.

written by Moose, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Speaking Bushism!

My favorite Bushism according to former VP Dick Cheney? "The fox has taken over the asylum."

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

It's The Eyebrows

Nancy Pelosi, should she lose her position as a U.S. representative, says she has been offered several roles in horror movies.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Democrats, Republicans Agree to Raise Taxes on Poor

After months of wrangling whether to raise taxes on the rich or lower taxes on the middle-class, Congressional leaders have agreed to introduce legislation to raise taxes on the poor.

written by Moose, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Another Google Feature

Google to offer new service that will allow you to write humor like those who write for TheSpoof!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Use Roma Tomatoes

European Union Condemns France's Expulsion of Roma. Hurl tomatoes!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

French Have Poor Sex Lives

Ooh la la! Over 75 per cent of FRENCH people have bad sex lives, survey reveals. That's why they have to talk it up!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Pensioner Goes After Wheelie Bin!

Call out the lifeguard! Pensioner, 81, puts to sea in rubber dinghy to recover WHEELIE BIN! "They would fine me my entire pension if I lost that wheelie bin", says old-timer.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

"Here You Have"

A new email virus that promises a link to free sex films is wreaking havoc at some of the biggest businesses across the world today. DO NOT WRITE "HERE YOU HAVE" on your computer!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Just A Bit Of Bad Luck?

Unluckiest day for policeman tasered by colleague after blinding himself with pepper spray and having a can of paint fall over his head and tasered mother in law after stumbling. (all on Friday 13th)

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Psychologist: Sexy Teletubbies Turn On?

Teletubbies is as bad for your child as a violent video game, says leading psychologist. "For one thing, they see being fat as a good thing. Also they...they twist their tails!"

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Arkansas Needs Fresh Blood

The Irish brother and sister who had a child together are to break the law and marry later this month. They are then moving to Arkansas.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Need To Specialize

Michael Gove brings back technical schools to train new generation of plumbers and mechanics. "They will make a better living than university graduates, physicians.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Played The Bad Cop!

Police sergeant jailed for throwing woman in cell 'punched and kicked civil servant in separate attack', ate children's pet puppies!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Tax Blunder

Country's top tax boss forced into humiliating apology for bill blunder... just hours after refusing to say sorry, pissing pants.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Poor Old Billionaires Are Pitiful

Outlook Gloomy at Secret Billionaire Meeting. Most tell these poor people, "We feel your pain, billfold".

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Billionaires: Outlook Gloomy!

Outlook Gloomy at Secret Billionaire Meeting. "You can't even buy a representative these days, let alone a Senator!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Makes Slight Change

INDEFINITE LEAVE TO REMAIN: Obama shifts approach to deporting illegals to importing voters!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Simon Needs Help

Simon Cowell needs 'vitamin injections' to keep on top of workload, girlfriend.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

"No Thanks Mr. President

Vulnerable Democrats duck public events, President Obama appearance!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

"Somewhere" Wins Somewhere!

SOFIA COPPOLA 'SOMEWHERE' WINS TOP PRIZE AT VENICE...or Someplace!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Keeps Dogging Around!

NFL opener sets ratings record; Most-watched regular season game in 14 years, that's two in Brett Favre years.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Poverty Loses War

Poverty on track to post record gain under Obama. Hobo yards popping up around bus stations.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

No To Solar Panels

Obama: 'No' to solar panels on White House roof. But will grow a bigger garden on former Rose Garden.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Lady Googoo?

An erotic breaker of taboos or an asexual copycat? Camille Paglia, America's foremost cultural critic, demolishes Lady Gaga!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Bieber Does Simon & Gar Favorite

Bieber rocks downtown L.A. as he preps for VMAs, dedicates "Mrs. Robinson" song to 29-year-old girlfriend.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Greek PM Announcement #2

Greek prime minister: no new austerity measures. You will have toilet paper again by December.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Greek PM Announcement

Greek prime minister: no new austerity measures. "Everyone go back to your hovels."

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

"We Need Thees In Caleefornya"

Schwarzenegger checks out China's high-speed rail, leaps over The Great Wall, learns to write "I'll be back" in Chinese to use with autographs.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Pleads For Tolerance

Obama commemorates 9/11 with appeal for tolerance, more vacation time.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

"I Don't Wanna Go Home!"

Report: Several Saudi diplomats seeks asylum in US, women!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Col. Senate Election Debate

Colorado Senate hopefuls spar on Bush-league tax cuts. I'm sorry. "Bush-era" tax cuts.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Feds: Gas pipe that exploded ranked high risk !

Probably should have taken a peek at it back in 1960.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Palin, Beck recall 9/11 attacks at Alaska event !

They just missed us here by only two thousand miles.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

US Still Unsettled

Unsettled nation marks 9/11 with rituals of sorrow, football games knocking event off the air.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Slow News Day?

Turkey votes in referendum to amend constitution. So, everyone, hold your breath and cross your fingers.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Two Popes In A Row

Different pope, different times for British trip. Two popes in a row, after none came before. Choir boys refuse to perform.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

China Still Upset Over Boat Incident

China summons Japanese ambassador again over boat mishap. "We still owe you one over WWII!"

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Number Of Poor Growing #2

Record gains for US poverty with elections looming. Paying a bailed out GM CEO eight million might have fed a few people.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Number Of Poor Growing

Record gains for US poverty with elections looming. How about a Salvation Army, Feed The Children Bailout instead of corrupt bank, greedy companies?

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Thought He Backed Out!

What Christians Can Learn from Koran Burner the Rev. Terry Jones. That he didn't burn it?

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

No Kidding!

Ky. gunman grew hostile. Police believe that may have led to him killing six people.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

May Be More Out There?

Feds: Gas pipe that exploded ranked high risk. Due to be replaced as early as 2025.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Ninth Anniversary

Unsettled nation marks 9/11 with rituals of sorrow, idiocy.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Event Probably Already Sold Out!

Bacteriologist Lillian South being recognized this week as she is beginning to look like herself after bad bacteria infection.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

At Least She's Trying!

Clinton resuming last, last, final 'last chance' Mideast peace talks.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Swift To Sing About West Taking Mike? #2

Swift to sing about West debacle this year at VMAs. Something really important, unlike "Blowing In The Wind", "The Times They Are A-Changing" & "Only A Pawn In Their Game".

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Swift To Sing About West Taking Mike!

Swift to sing about West debacle this year at VMAs. West took her mike away after she won an award last year, if there's anyone out there left who hasn't heard about it.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

US Poverty Increases From Lack Of Jobs

Record gains for US poverty with elections looming. Will candidates be handing out food stamps?

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Igor Getting Stonger

Hurricane Igor getting stronger in open Atlantic. Could become a Frankenstein!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Went Apeshit Wild?

Officials: Passenger accused of making threat after plane returned for mechanical problems. Apparently threw crap at attendant, pilot.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Saudi Diplomats Seek Asylum

Report: Saudi diplomat seeks asylum in US as he believes his life is threatened by Muslim extremists if he goes home.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Book & Flag Burnings!

9th Anniversary of Sept. 11 Attacks has gone from anger, to sorrow back to anger!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Number Of Poor Increasing

Record gains for US poverty with elections looming on President Obama's watch. Time to stop partying, Mr. President.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Don't Forget Jeremiah Wright

What Christians Can Learn from Koran Burner, Rev. Terry Jones! Actually, many do feel that Muslims get away with murdering thousands. Someone had some backbone. What happened to "Love your enemies?"

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

US Wandering W/O Leadership

Unsettled nation marks 9/11 with rituals of sorrow, actions of anger!

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Clinton Still Trying With Peace Talks

Clinton resuming 'last chance' Mideast peace talks. Most think that "Actions" will follow next.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Tenth Last Chance Peace Talks

Clinton resuming 'last chance' Mideast peace talks, since the last 'last chance'.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Knife rain

It was raining steak knives in Portsmouth this morning - well they had been warned to watch out for sharp showers.

written by IainB, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Iran Changes Mind Once Again

A senior Iranian prosecutor said Sunday that authorities will release a jailed American woman on $500,000 bail because of health problems. Hiking near Iran border is very costly.

written by Bureau, 12 September 2010
Rating:

Ghost Busters annual "Bash" at Ground Zero resounding success!

The annual, gathering of global "Ghost Busters", Buddhists, and Hari Krishna groups was a resounding success, at next years 10th anniversary ghostly Suicide Bombers are appearing with 70 Virgins!

written by Jaggedone, 12 September 2010
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