Order by:
Rating:

No More Torture

President Obama has signed an executive order banning torture in the United States. In response, half of all prime time TV shows will have to be pulled by January 1st.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

US News Changing

US News & World Report Halting Print Edition! From now on they will hire van drivers with bullhorns!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama In Dreamland?

Obamacare is a "Frankenstein" monster in which "everyone loses," while Barack Obama is in "dreamland" when it comes to national security, says Michael Savage, who looks a bit nightmarish, himself.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Man -- not near tree falling in middle of woods -- did not hear it.

A man, who was nowhere near a tree that fell in the middle of the woods yesterday, did not hear it fall. Draw your own conclusion.

written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010
Rating:

"IT Men Not Men says Which

In a Which survey 8 out of 10 men said they prefer IT - that is prefer - sitting at a glorified typewriter all day rather than doing a real man's job like Ice Truck Driving, Building and Plumbing.

written by iscrivener, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Just A Slight Change

Some gay men getting married in Vermont have had part of the ceremony change to "For bitter or for wurst".

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Could Puff Up!

While last year's tests show that eating watermelon can have the same effect as Viagra, scientists say that you must be careful about swallowing watermelon seed.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Couple Found Dead In Bed

A doctors study group now say that the use of Viagra does not lead to blindness, but too much could cause it to explode!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Viagra Study Released

A doctors study group now say that the use of Viagra does not lead to blindness unless your enthusiasm causes the wife to get poked in the eye.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Baseball Bets

New York Mets Clubhouse manager admitted baseball bet. "You can sure bet it wasn't on these clowns."

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Could Be Causing Global Warming

Do we still need daylight saving time? Shouldn't we have saved enough daylight by now?

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Money Is Money!

Bargain-hunters should check toy recall list first. Then get that bargain, recall or no recall, before it's gone!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Bush: Pic A Mistake

George W. Bush calls Katrina photo of him looking out plane window a 'huge mistake'. Obama says the same about Tuesday's voting.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Upset About Mid Term Election Losses

"At least I could look at Pelosi's tits when I got bored with her. This Republican Majority Leader won't give me anything to state at."

written by Jalapenoman, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Joe Biden Mototcade Crashes!

Joe Biden's motorcade has been in record number of crashes. "Joe keeps trying to drive with one foot on the gas and one in his mouth", says one Motorcade driver.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama & The Dolls

No, Pentagon says, president will not be guarded by 34 ships. Instead, he will have over 100 Obama Dolls from China that will confuse anyone trying to do him harm.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Olbermann Suspended

MSNBC Suspends Olbermann Over Political Donations to Dems. If that's true, why not all the others on MSNBC, GOP on FOX?

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Nuns Sell Rare Baseball Card

Nuns sell Honus Wagner card for $262,000. Bill Gates grandson will put it in his bicycle spokes.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Is Back Already?

Pelosi will seek to stay as House Dem leader. That large cheer came from the GOP, not the Dems!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Bears DO shit in the woods.

Ages-old mystery solved.

written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Pope DOES Wear a Funny Hat.

Centuries-old mystery solved.

written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010
Rating:

New Lord of the Rings promises Less Violence!

The newest Lord of the Rings movie will be out soon, promising to cut out all violence and senseless killing of strange creatures with no apparent reason for being. Runtime 1 minute.

written by Jean Le Fete, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Bedbugs On Shuttle

Space shuttle Discovery launch scrubbed due to leak in hydrogen fuel feed line, presence of bedbugs; next possible launch date is Sunday

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

MSNBC Anchor Suspended

MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann suspended indefinitely without pay for political contributions to three Democrats, sick in bucket during election telecast.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Cold & Elitist!

DER SPIEGEL: 'Obama Comes Across as Cold, Arrogant and Elitist'. You would think he was French!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Two Tumbled To Second Place

Obama knocked off FORBES power top spot. Last week, it was Tiger Woods.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Who Needs Solar Heat With Global Warming?

Solar panel maker touted by gov't scales back expansion plans. Why are we not surprised?

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Better Get The Lead Out

Warning Issued For Entire NYC Water Supply; Elevated Lead Levels Detected! Officials blame gang shootouts, Mafia wars, filling victims with bullets.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Better Get The Lead Out

Warning Issued For Entire NYC Water Supply; Elevated Lead Levels Detected! Officials blame gang shootouts, Mafia wars, filling victims with bullets.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Amount Of Mercury Up Too!

Warning Issued For Entire NYC Water Supply; Elevated Lead Levels Detected! Theory, too many who had lead in their asses buried lately.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

No Global Warming!

Nudist Colony in Anchorage, Alaska say they voted Republican because they don't believe in global warming.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Wear Less Clothes

UN calls for global taxes to fund 'climate' change problems. Us response: "Sorry, Republicans inn here now!"

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

No Hillary Run!

CBS: Hillary Clinton Rules Out 2012, 2016 Presidential Runs. "Unless the people keep calling for me, Me, ME!!"

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Young Asian disguised as old man arrested #2

Young Asian disguised as old man arrested aboard plane. Giveaway? Teeth was solid white!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Young Asian disguised as old man arrested!

Young Asian disguised as old man arrested on flight to Vancouver.. Giveaway? Not one single hair growing out of nose and ears.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Is He Popping Viagra?

Young Asian disguised as old man arrested on flight to Vancouver. Giveaway? Boner every time hostess walked by.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Wants Minority Leader Position

Pelosi Will Seek Office of House Minority Leader. "There goes 2012", says Barney Frank.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Goebbels Wins Nazi Poll

Dr Joesph Goebbels is world's favourite Nazi, according to a new poll. One fan of Goebbels, who beat Henrich Himmler in a close contest, said: 'He murdered his entire family - and that's pure class.'

written by parveen liddy, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Tunnel Entrance Modelled on Star's Growler

The new owners of the Channel Tunnel are to redesign the British entrance in the shape of Stevie Nicks' vagina. The 40 ton relief will feature an fully illuminated clitoris.

written by parveen liddy, 05 November 2010
Rating:

John Kerry Still Owes Yacht Fees

John Kerry still has not paid his yacht rental fees & taxes. The wealthy show how that got that way!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

US Circumference Grows

Obesity rates to expand to 42% by 2020, say fatheads doing study.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Print It & Weep!

Brazil, the country that fired the gun on the so-called "currency wars", is girding itself for further battle. "US bringing down other country's currency."

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Vanity Fair Not Being Fair?

LETTER: VANITY FAIR EDITOR FREAKS OVER ELECTION: VOTERS LIKE 'HORMONAL TEENAGERS'...'Better than same old farts in there!" voters reply.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Oil Headed Higher

Oil is now above $87...better get off the computer and go fill up!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Just Like Old Times!

Retired Chinese, American generals hold talks, arm wrestle!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

He's Back At It!

Frustrated Tiger Woods sizzles and fizzles in Shanghai! Opponents were hoping he had cut the farting.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Clinton Duckin & Doggin!

Earthquakes, machine guns firing over her head dog Clinton on overseas trips

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

FOX Wins Ratings

Broadcast nets behind Fox on election night. Mostly because their candidates won and the others candidates lost.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Conan O'Brien New Studio #2

Conan O'Brien ready to break in cozy new studio with entire audience drawn from infomercials.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Conan O'Brien New Studio

Conan O'Brien ready to break in cozy new studio with an audience of twenty.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Lots To Choose From!

New series shows family hurting financially by selecting one out of a one hundred million every week.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

The Spanish Inquisition

Spanish authorities inspect 10-year-old mom's home...turns out it's up a tree.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Love Them Mint-Flavored Kisses

Wyoming, West Virginia lead the United States in chewing tobacco use....most of them women.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

"And While I'm Here..."

Bloomberg applauds Chinese mayors at Hong Kong meeting. Asks for a few bucks to help NYC, "your sister city".

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Doc: He's Breathing Better

High school quarterback in fair condition after huge fart by Center before ball snapped!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Kim Not Impressed

Swiss man performs aerial loops with jet wings. Kim of NKorea says cartoon people have been doing that since the 1940s.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Why Not Give Peole Money To Spend, Not Banks To Hoard?

Obama welcomes new ideas on firing up the economy. "Seems like nothing has helped thus far!"

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Gitmo detainee not to be released!

Appeals court overturns release of Gitmo detainee who helped train 911 terrorists. GOP effect already being felt!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Radioactive rabbit trapped !

Radioactive rabbit trapped at nuclear reservation.May appear in the next Spiderman movie!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Radioactive Rabbit Caught

Radioactive rabbit trapped at nuclear reservation. Acts like the one on Monty Python's "The Holy Grail".

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

They Don't Dare!

Cuba and Iran blast U.S. human rights at U.N. forum. "Notice that none of our people complain!"

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Good wind behind him!

High School kid punts football well over eighty yards...even though it rolled for 40!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Gridlock Better Than Goldilocks

Obama: U.S. can't afford two years of gridlock! GOP: Nor two more years of Goldilocks!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

MSNBC One-Sided Coverage

MSNBC's election night lineup draws criticism. "You could tell they were liberals by the way they cried all night", says Bill O'Reilly.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Didn't Get Through?

Obama acknowledges his message didn't get through. "Somebody screwed with my message board."

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

151,000 Jobs Added

Employers add 151K jobs, most since May. "NOW you tell us", says Obama!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

National Security Battle Coming Your Way Soon!

GOP gains set stage for national security battle! Tickets to staged event $200 each. Fake chairs and bottles brought in for effect.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Earthquakes Follow Hillary #2

Earthquakes dog Clinton on overseas trips. Several have now announced that she is no linger welcome.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Earthquakes After Hillary

Earthquakes dog Clinton on overseas trips. Scientists blame five degree drop when she comes into a room.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Judge To Make Decision In Tough Case

Judge has tough call in Calif transit killing case. Spotted inside private chambers throwing darts.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Better Before, Than After

Space shuttle springs fuel leak, may delay launch. "We don't mind", say astronauts. "Take your time & do it right."

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Old Battle Axe Makes News

World's oldest battle axe found in Australia. I'm sorry, that should be "axe", but you should see the old hag bringing the message.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Russian Spies Caught

Georgia 'busts Russian spy ring', outrages Moscow. Outlaw Google earth.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Once Over Locals To Sell Lava Lamps

Erupting Indonesian volcano seems to have crawled 300 feet north during the night.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Shuttle Launch Taking The Piss

Piss leak around the water converter halts launch of space shuttle once again. Astronauts re-examined for prostate problems.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Space Shuttle Delay

Fuel leak, discovery of funny-looking ink cartridges, halts launch of space shuttle

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

No News Here!

GOP, Obama embrace Bush tax cuts, 'we all get rich', compromise!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Doesn't Sound Encouraging

Afghan Taliban threaten death to all talking peace, especially those saying "Shalom!".

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Taliban "Death To Peace!"

Afghan Taliban threaten death to all talking peace. "There's our excuse say reps from PLO, Israel!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Worked For 234 Years

GOP, Obama embrace Bush tax cuts compromise. Both agree to leave it alone. Most hope that's what Washington will do about everything: Leave it alone!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Liberty In Myanmar

Myanmar military set to win elections on Sunday as voters made to vote at gunpoint.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Not Again?

Georgia arrests 13 accused of spying for Russia. Northern US attempt to burn down Atlanta if others don't step forward.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

More Russian Spies In Georgia

Georgia arrests 13 accused of spying for Russia. Jimmy Carter lead away in handcuffs.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

MSNBC Prejudice

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and Bernie Goldberg slammed MSNBC for having the network's top liberal hosts and commentators lead election night coverage. "They even did chants & lighted candles."

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Hadron Collider Latest

Recent tests in Switzerland show that time travel will be realised by 2015. UK PM David Cameron has issued a statement "...that the country will no doubt be empty by 2016...!"

written by iscrivener, 05 November 2010
Rating:

MSNBC Very Bias On Election

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and conservative media critic Bernie Goldberg slammed MSNBC for having the network's top liberal hosts and commentators lead election night coverage. CNN, FOX were fair.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Deep Impact Flies By Comet

NASA Deep Impact spacecraft flies by small comet, belching poisonous gases. So a near-miss of the earth could still poison us. Just one more thing to worry about.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Brain Booster

Good Conversation Can Boost Brain Power, Study Finds! Also taste, claim zombies.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Conversation Helps Brain Power

Good Conversation Can Boost Brain Power, Study Finds! So jump right in on TheSpoof forum if interested in the subject being discussed.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

On The Dole

More people on the Dole in Britain to be given bananas.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Nice Canadian Couple

Nicest Canadian couple in world dole out lottery winnings. Nicest couple in Kentucky on the dole.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

James Blunt

Pop singer James Blunt is said to be following a career in comedy, after appearing on Have I Got News For You. He is taking advice from Lempit Opik.

written by Ben Macnair, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Clegg

Nick Clegg, the wonderboy of the Conservative Party is set to play Prince Charming in Pantomime this Christmas. Boris Johnson has been offered a part in a new farce......The Conservative Party.

written by Ben Macnair, 05 November 2010
Rating:

ironic Twist to Costumed Man's Arrest for Drunken Driving

A Nebraska man was arrested early Monday morning after a night of partying at a Halloween Party given by his friend. His costume? A Breathalyzer.

written by Charpa93, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Norway #1

Norway the best place to live: UN. "Don't you believe it say locals. Stay where you are."

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Norway Number One!

Norway the best place to live: UN. However, they DID pick Haiti last year you know.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Nice Couple Win Lottery

Nicest Canadian couple in world dole out lottery winnings. Let's all send them a special card from TheSpoof and mention that we'd all like to get together somewhere, if we had the funding.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama The Paranoid #2

Obama heading for India to open Asia trip with 50 ships and one to be nuclear, 50 fighter jets as bodyguards.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama The Paranoid

Obama heading for India to open Asia trip. Now with 50 ships, 100 tanks and 1,000 armed troops as bodyguards.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2010
Rating:

A Crap Ash

For the poor people of Indonesia: Equally as bad for America, it's an anagram of SARAHPAC.

written by pinxit, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Trainee Doctors "Not Supervised"

"Chuck 'em in at the deep end, I say," says top surgeon. "Heart surgery ain't rocket science!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Better 'phone me mam this weekend.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Pass the Celery

San Francisco CA has appointed brothel and bathhouse inspectors to make sure customers don't get any toys with their "happy-meals," unless they eat their vegetables!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

So Much for Campaign Promises!

What reelected east coast blue state governor promised no tax increases in his 2012 budget? The blue state legislature is going to add separate bills boosting tax rates on gasoline, alcohol and etc.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Dancing with the Mullahs

Iran changed its position again on meeting with world powers about its nuclear program. The USA, Germany, France, China, UK & Russia anticipated the Kabuki dance would be replaced by the Hokey-Pokey!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Election Day November 6, 2012

Voters still upset with the Democrats performance gave Republicans 16 more US Senate seats in the election, knocking Democratic SML Reid from power. Republicans also retained control of the US House.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Slime Ball Award for the Second Week

The Slime Ball award of the week again goes to SML Reid. Reid made promises to his union buddies and about passing the DREAM act, in exchange for votes. Nevada still has a 14.4% unemployment rate!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Another Obama Vacation

Pres. Obama travels to India to escape the American people telling him that he wasted their time, money, & are tired of being treated as stupid by the arrogant incompetent fools in his administration!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Deluder in Chief

Obama says Republicans against Aids funding to Africa; wrong President Bush provided lots of money. Obama says court order called CO2 a harmful gas; wrong EPA reclassified greenhouse gas definition.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

History Lesson 2013

What do Presidents Jimmy Carter, Herbert Hoover and Barack Obama have in common? They were all one term presidents!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Obama is in a Dream World of His Own

President Obama is a deer caught in the headlights of the GOP/Tea Party train. "He didn't realize he wasn't communicating his ideas to the American people during the emergency health care crisis!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
Rating:

Ideological Proliferation

Pres. Obama says "Senate ratifying START Treaty with Russia sends a strong message to Iran that USA serious about stopping nuclear proliferation." Iran's Pres. Ahmadinejad says "Ha, Ha, Ha, and Ha!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 November 2010
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