Order by:
Rating:

Where's Our Security?

Pickpockets, muggers and prostitutes join in on strike in France over retirement changes.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Yes Sir, I'm Positive

Manager tells police that the shooting that was reported by someone in his apartment complex was just a roomer.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

LPS Guy Lost Money On Invention

Creator of the Local Positioning System says he's not made a dime off it yet. "I guess we all know each other around here."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Not Another Election

Pools for 2012 Presidential election show that Ralph Nader would not only finish behind Mickey Mouse but could finish below Santa Claus, should he run again.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Bill Wagers Hillary

Former President Bill Clinton has promised his wife Hillary that, should she run again in 2012 and win, he's wear a pantsuit for two weeks.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Sparky Anderson Dies

Hall of Fame manager Sparky Anderson dead at 76. Family says he still had dreams about Pete Rose whom he called old mullet head!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Generous Couple Wins Lottery

Nicest Canadian couple in world dole out lottery winnings but the old farts never considered giving anything to me!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Near Gatlingburg

A new study says that most gay male marriages end with the couple going on their honeymoon at Mount Leconte!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Tells Citizens To Quit Worrying

President Obama says that US citizens should stop worrying about a bad economy and spend some more cash. "There are now nukes everywhere, so you can't take it with you...and you may be leaving soon!"

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Man accused of missing wife murder pleads innocence

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world" he claims.

written by Mike Gatspy, 04 November 2010
Rating:

"Old Timer's Disease"

Man arrested for the 5th time for walking into the woman's bathroom in a mall in Boise, Idaho is claiming to have "The Old Timer's Disease". "Going in there makes me remember what a life I've had."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

"There Once Was" Almost Here!

Only 14 more days until Maine's yearly "Nantucket Poetry Contest". All entries have to be in by Friday!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

New York Law Passed

A new law was passed yesterday in New York Tuesday that Wendys, McDonalds and other fast food restaurants have to place an updated card that says "_____ Days Since Our Last Heart Attack On Premises!"

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Drunk At Sperm Bank

Drunk shows up at city sperm bank once again, this time asking for a bucket. "I've been drunk for a month and I'm all backed up."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

The Yucca Monster?

Troops guarding Yucca Mountain's store of nuclear waste claim there's something running around down there and cackling.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

You're Outa Here. So Are Your Clones!

Student in science of cloning kicked out after being caught as a copycat.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

New Bush Book

In his new book, President says that 'Osama' is OK as a president but he hasn't the sense of hummer that I had when I was in orifice.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Sounds Just Like Him

Former President Bush in his new book about Iran, NKorea: "The enriched keep getting enricher."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Things Are Looking Over!

President Obama running out of Euphemisms for the state of the country. Has aides looking for more.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Pelosi: It Was Great!

Nancy Pelosi says that she enjoyed her term as Speaker of the House and is ready to take the water boarding coming to her with eyebrows held high!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Defending Cyberspace

Military ready for war in cyberspace. "We're not defense only. Wait till Iran tries to fire missiles."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Headed For Margaritaville?

Tropical Storm Jimmy Buffet staggering all over the Caribbean.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Norway The Beat

United Nations: Norway the very best place to live, especially if you like below zero weather, women wearing no bras.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

GOP A Bump In The Road

President Obama says that GOP victory only a hiccup in the road..then gets the hiccups!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Someone Sneezes, We're All Outa Here!

Guyana announces that their nuclear facilities are for energy. Apparently bought them from the Congo.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Castro's Lament

Castro: After all that mess in 1961, Cuba probably only country without nuclear weapons.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Politician Equals "Crook"!

U.S., British citizens demand that as soon as someone becomes a politician, he be arrested.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Third Verse, Same As The First

Spending watchdog ran up £4.8m bill for hotels and used taxpayers' cash to fund gay rights workshop for staff!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Second Verse, Same As The First

As 500,000 public sector staff prepare for dole... Cameron's personal photographer handed job on government payroll

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Hell's Mobility Scooters

'I have to go to Tesco': What disabled driver shouted after knocking down elderly couple with her mobility scooter. "Now she'll also go to court", states injured woman.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Parents Warned About Daycare

The missed warning signs that paedophile Vanessa George was abusing children at Little Ted's nursery. Looks like the twin of Nurse Ratchet.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Revolving Door Justice

Britain: Revolving door justice: 3 in 4 offenders return to life of crime after punishment. May turn them over to Taliban!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Money For Nothing

Northern Rock chief quits... but taxpayers will still keep paying him £82,000-a-month to do NOTHING. And he is not even a politician!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Homemade Movies To Pay For Them

UK traffic cams check to see if insurance, tax payments up to date, passengers having sex.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Tequila Recall

Mexico recalls several brands of tequila as several worms in bottles still moving around.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

China Upset Over Dollar Drop

CHINA WARNS FED PUMPING 'HUGE RISK'. Bernanke says not to worry. They ran some Chinese currency also. "You sell us junk, we buy it with junk."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Official Papers Missing Again

President Obama tells Republicans that water dog ate all official papers and accidentally erased computer files. NKorea offers to sell their hacked copies.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

GOP: Prepare Foe Investigations

New House Judiciary Chairman to Obama: Prepare for thorough Investigations. Just like those done on Bush Administrations.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Cameron Visited Obama On Commercial Flight

FLASHBACK: UK's Cameron flies commercial to meet Obama without a single warship.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits India #5

Coconuts removed from trees 'to protect Obama' in India. Monkeys will wear diapers, hands watched closely for poo.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits India #4

Coconuts removed from trees 'to protect Obama' in India. Guy who helps relay message board to President speeches will be introduced.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits India #3

Coconuts removed from trees 'to protect Obama' in India. Everyone coming within 25 feet has to be barefooted.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits India #2

Coconuts removed from trees 'to protect Obama' in India. Those who do the rope trick are to be checked for weapons.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits India

Coconuts removed from trees 'to protect Obama' in India. Cobras confined in boxes.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Nutty Visit

Coconuts removed from trees 'to protect Obama' in India. Cow shit removed at the last minute.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Would Lose To Hypothetical?

CNNPoll: GOP candidates top Obama in hypothetical 2012 race. But let's give the election crap a rest for awhile, most say.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Iranians Still Think We're Great

Iranians stage mass protest against 'Great Satan' USA...or else!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Good Thing It's A Friend

OBAMA taking 34 warships, 3,000 armed bodyguards in trip to visit, India.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Dollar Down, Oil Up!

Oil hits six-month peaks on falling dollar. Government fines on BP double.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Money Advice

Study shows that when taking out loans, the 50% thirty day loans at "Have The Money You Need" fleecers still better than those from someone whose first name is "Big".

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Good To Be In New Guinea

A wonderful day to be in Papua New Guinea, says Hillary. Especially with all the political bloodshed back home.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

And He Wonders About Political Losses?

34 warships sent from US for Obama visit for protection. That should help with government waste.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

"Sunrise, Sunset!"

'Fiddler On the Roof' composer Jerry Bock dies of old age! L'chaim.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Better Forget It!

Election Day unkind to many wealthy candidates. Many already asking Government for bail-outs.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Was Ready For Big Celebration!

Twenty tons of marijuana found in California tunnel. "Thought the vote would go different", says owner.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Same Daily Message Deleted As Spam

From 'Hope' to Spam: How Obama Lost the Digital Generation. Most say they were out looking for jobs.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Those Silly Eyebrows

A chastened Barack Obama admitted he had suffered a "shellacking" in this week's US mid-term elections, but refused to see it as a repudiation of his transformative domestic agenda. "I blame Pelosi!"

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Sure To Draw A Crowd

Burger King offers free coffee on Fridays in Nov. after one AM!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Drops Global Warming Plan

President Obama drops plan to limit global warming gases. Environmentalists calls him a Lame Fart!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Toy Story

Illegal Happy Meals toys avoided as burgers now shaped like duckies and grenades.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

No Toys Law Already Side-Stepped

Happy Meal toys outlawed in San Francisco replaced by fold=out box that creates Tank!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Many Happy Returns

Greece: Suspect package returned from embassy with 'postage due' sign on it, has been destroyed.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

17 Minutes From Going Off

Official: 1 Yemen bomb 17 mins. from exploding. "It's a good thing we had already moved clocks back", says officer.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

A Chastened Obama

A Chastened Obama Faces the World.May just play golf, shoot some hoops the next two years.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Stalkers Bad As Molesters

Erbe says stalker suspect mocked her child online. Tea Party demands beheading to set example with stalkers.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Computer Wars

Report: NKorean hacking increases ahead of G-20 as "Hacking Wars" grow around the world.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Can't Fool Mother Nature

Flooding that swamped southern Thailand kills 12 as earth rebels against treatment with earthquakes, volcanoes, flooding, storms daily!

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Hillary In A Hurry

Clinton urges lame-duck Senate vote on START. But Tea Party say they will veto bill if passed. "Can't trust Russians".

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

No Happy Meals Toys #4

San Francisco Law curbs McDonald's Happy Meal toys. Instead they will learn how to hotfoot, wedgie classmates, taught by Ronald himself.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

No Happy Meals Toys #3

San Francisco Law curbs McDonald's Happy Meal toys. Instead they will get a coupon for half-off their next Happy Meal.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Toys For Pots

San Francisco Law curbs McDonald's Happy Meal toys. Instead, they will get a rolled medical cig. for parents.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Ban On Toys #2

San Francisco Law curbs McDonald's Happy Meal toys. "If we can't smoke marijuana, kids can't have toys."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Ban On Toys

San Francisco Law curbs McDonald's Happy Meal toys. "We don't want children having fun around here."

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Average Citizens The Major Victims

18 dead found in Mexico mass grave shown in video as war continues between government and drug dealers.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Need For More Locally Grown Food

FDA tests confirm listeria at Texas food plant. The FDA asks, "What's in YOUR stomach?"

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Giants Parade

Thousands cheer on Giants at San Francisco parade. "With today's steroids, they really look like Giants", says one fan.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Qantas Makes Emergency Landing

Qantas jumbo makes emergency landing in Singapore. Rain Man's brother disappointed.

written by Bureau, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Rioja! Oh yeah!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Republicans Propose New Spending and Social Programs

In a shocking turn of events, new House Republicans apparently drank from water fountains on the Democratic side of the chambers, radically changing some of their legislation. They raised taxes 30%.

written by Jean Le Fete, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama to Anyone Who Will Listen: "Were Screwed!"

President Obama spent the day on the phone to Democrats, Republicans, lobbyists, foreign leaders and Al Quaeda, with basically the same message,"Were Screwed".

written by Jean Le Fete, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Obama to Bill Clinton: Were Screwed!

President Obama today told Bill Clinton in a candid manor, "Were Screwed". This should not be confused with a conversation he had earlier with Hillary, where he also said, "Were Screwed".

written by Jean Le Fete, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Republicans Propose Cuts To Previous Cuts Before the Last Major Cuts To The Cuts Happened

Incoming Republicans have already proposed major cuts to minor cuts that hey say were not major enough cuts. These cuts would come on top of cuts meant to alleviate the cuts that they did not cut.

written by Jean Le Fete, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Mutation of Skank Gene Proves Mary-Kate and Ashley are Fraternal Twins.

You can tell that the sequenced eukaryotic genome for skankiness has manifested itself more in Ashley than Mary-Kate, indicating that they are not identical twins, they are fraternal.

written by anthonyrosania, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Same Logic as the Pro-Marijuana Supporters

California Proposition 69 would make murder legal, freeing up the police agencies to chase offenders who drive while using a non-hands free cell phone!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

New San Francisco Treat

The Pelosi Sandwich: Two slices of Sourdough bread covered with lard, a slab of ham and smelly melted Limburger cheese "lying" on top. Sure was hard to swallow and digest!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Parlez-vous anglais?

The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) Chairman who boasted of a Democratic US House victory has applied for asylum in France!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Old American Proverb

The sleeping tiger awoke voting out the Pelosi from the new red house, but the Reid managed to escape into the other slightly blue house. Beware of the tiger when she approaches the white house!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Mid-Term Election Strategy Update

Senate Majority Leader Reid has retained his Senate seat. He asked the ladies at the Chicken Ranch Brothel near Las Vegas NV, to get out the vote by having them call on all the local union members.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

The People of the People's House Have Spoken

Knock, Knock! Who's there? The Botox lady! Go away Nancy, as you're out of a job in 2011.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

Let Me be Clear About……

President Obama held a press conference, while drinking a cup of tea. He blamed the loss of the US House on Michelle, HS Pelosi, Bo (first dog), Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, not his spending policies!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
Rating:

What Campaign Skills?

The voters of Ohio nominate President Obama for the "Empty Suit Award" for spending US taxpayer money on political travel to their state. Major Democratic candidates were not elected in Ohio!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 November 2010
« Oct 2010 November 2010 Dec 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
100
2nd
99
3rd
113
4th
91
5th
112
6th
103
7th
121
8th
87
9th
87
10th
91
11th
76
12th
78
13th
103
14th
96
15th
106
16th
97
17th
120
18th
114
19th
117
20th
102
21st
134
22nd
94
23rd
109
24th
110
25th
141
26th
109
27th
76
28th
120
29th
108
30th
130
 

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