Order by:
Rating:

Island Practically Uninhabitable!

South Korean island hit by shelling is practically uninhabitable as shells blow 20-30-year old buried cabbage out of the ground that had been forgotten over the years!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Three Survivors From The Sea

Three Teenage boys survive 50 days adrift in South Pacific. How did they survive? "We started out with six."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Chocolate Wars!

Hershey sues Mars over similar candy packaging. Ex-Lax says they are both full of shit!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Most Went Crazy Before Death

Study: Second-hand smoke kills 600,000 a year, second-hand farts only 6 but they died a horrible death.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Stalin The Butcher

Russia admits Stalin ordered Katyn massacre of Poles. He was our Pole Pot!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Happy! Happy! Happy!

Welcome to the happiest place in America! It's the Funny Farm in Loony Bin, Arkansas!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

I Almost Fell !

Obama gets twelve stitches after errant elbow to mouth. Michelle's mother say's it was an accident.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Found Near Crane Creek

Police in London have nicknamed another body of a decapitated murder victim 'Ichabod', until he can be formerly identified.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

President Obama needs 12 stitches on upper lip after taking a shot in the mouth while playing basketball

So, what would it take to get Mitch McConnell or John Boehner or somebody like that involved in some of these games?

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 November 2010
Rating:

"Gaia works in mysterious ways"

Harriet Harman sees bright side in economic downturn, citing reduced capacity to celebrate "Imperialist, class-dividing, Christocentric late December event."

written by Catherine the Average, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Pay Per View Stunt Fails

The Times hires publisher of The Big Issue to boost sales

written by Catherine the Average, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Horse-drawn wagon delivers White House Christmas tree

Douglas fir arrives at White House today in horse-drawn wagon after American economy leaves Lehighton, Pennsylvania Christmas Tree Company too broke to repair delivery truck.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Holiday food poisoning overwhelm hospitals

Hospitals across America are reporting an unprecedented surge in food poisoning cases this Thanksgiving holiday season. Epidemiologists trace the source back to turkeys tainted by Monsanto granary.

written by Skews Me, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Obama/Woods Thanksgiving redux

Woods last year gets stitches from a golf club, Obama this year gets stitches from basketball. What kinda f**king turkeys are these people eating?

written by JAB, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Not That There's Anything Wrong With The Name

New study shows that when you take a big bite of really cold ice cream and it goes right to your head & causes a headache, it can affect your brain. So I would avoid Golden Gaytime Cherry.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Must Not Be Important?

New Just-released Study Refutes Earlier Studies Claiming That That Particular Study... Is Now Considered.........Now I've Forgotten!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Sit And Absorb!

Internet and Facebook may be affecting body changes. Science says both our forehead and asses becoming bigger.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Bored! Good!!

Al Gore complains that with the global economy and possible Korean War plus new royal couple planning marriage, "no one gives an rat's ass about global warming."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

All We Are Saying, Is Give Ono A Chance!

Yoko Ono sues the United States Military for using her music and songs to torture jailed suspected terrorists. Demands royalty fees.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

There's A Lovely Spot Harold!

More Americans Plan to Delay Retirement! Most picking burial plot last few weeks before.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Signing Gorilla Beaten Up

Stupid gorilla beats up on signing gorilla who complains that "Dumbo doesn't even recognize the universal sign for 'time out'"!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Why Is Obama Afraid Of FOX?

President Obama says FOX News must black out all photographs of him. FOX says to stuff it. "We have legal rights."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Vatican drops Glitter

Pope chooses theme song, Gary Glitters 'I'm The Leader Of The Gang' to appeal to younger members, the Vatican has dropped this for the 'Back Street Boys' down to controversy.

written by Julian Shure, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Pete Rose Offers A Deal!

Baseball great Pete Rose, banned from baseball for betting, says that if Cooperstown will install him into the Baseball Hall Of Fame, he'll return all the bases he stole during his long career.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Addresses Soldier Families

President Obama tells families of troops still in Iraq, "They're still on my 'To Do' list. Got a game on for now!"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Ghana bans the sales of second hand knickers, "mucho bare pussies"

The Ghanaian government have banned the sales of second hand knickers and many women can't afford new ones, what a load of lovely naked "pussy"!

written by Jaggedone, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Shoper's For Dropping 'Turkey Day'!

Many say stupid Thanksgiving day ruins a great shopping weekend!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

"You'll Cause A Missed Free Throw!"

AP: The US does not want to be seen overreacting to NKorea. That's the reason Pres. Obama hasn't made on-camera statement about NKorea. Besides, he was busy playing basketball.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Too Tired For Kim

Obama spent about 90 minutes playing basketball at Ft. McNair & has returned to the White House. Kim of NKorea invites him to ping pong match.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

No Protest Songs?

New anthology with 300 Vietnam-era protest songs, closes by ripping current musicians for absence vs. Iraq & Afghan wars. "Only one with guts is Weird Al"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Donkeys More Expensive

In Gaza, it's tuk-tuks over donkey carts, partly because fuel has become cheaper than donkey feed. Many served up as donkey fazoo!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Needs To Hear From Others Than Yes-Men

Sunday Roundtable: "Obama needs to hear a voice from outside the presidential bubble. Those ears couldn't miss the disappointment of American people."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Something Like That

Suspected U.S. missile strike kills approximately three alleged militants in northwest Pakistan or somewhere near there, intelligence(?) officials say.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Sneaked One By!

Old buddy Jerry Lewis says Dean Martin meant to sing "Mammaries Are Made Of These" on live TV years ago.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Mountain Violence?

Mountain violence before historic Ivory Coast vote. Sorry, that should be "Mounting".

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Palin Upset Over Press Blowups!

Palin attacks media over coverage of North Korea gaffe. "They knew I meant South Vietnam!"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

US General Tours Island

US general views SKorean devastation. Former Vice President Cheney threatens to 'shoot Kim in the face'. "It would improve it considerably."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Saudis Using Excuse To Clean House!

Saudi forces arrest 149 al-Qaida suspects, enemies of the royal family!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Russia: We Were The First

Russia opens key plant to destroy chemical weapons, keys.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Nixon Tapes On Display

Secret Nixon tapes now available at the Nixon Library in "Adults Only" room.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

WikiLeaks At It Again

US briefs allies about next WikiLeaks release, especially French, Polish jokes.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

NKorea Defiant

Defiant North Korea fires artillery warning shots into the ocean. Threatens to start a tsunami.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Black Friday Maybe Freaky Friday!

FACEBOOK posting leads to assault with frying pan, stabbing. Woman pees in aisle to slow those behind her.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Black Friday Alright

Mall food court placed on lockdown after fight, reports of gunshots, three men tear doll apart.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Have To Get It Going

Australian Firm To Sell World's First Armpit Testosterone Lotion In US! Many women say armpit farts before sex a turn-off.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

AARP Calls Simpson, Simpleton

Debt commission co-chair Alan Simpson calls seniors 'greediest generation'. "They expect the US government to send them Social Security from what they have paid in for 40 years!"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

What A Treat We Have In The US!

Palin: My fellow Americans in all 57 states, the time has changed for come. With our country founded more than 20 centuries ago, we have much to celebrate: Obama accuses Palin of stealing HIS message.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

False Advertising?

Shoppers accuse WAL-MART of false advertising. "I'd like to wipe that smile off that little yellow spot's face", says customer!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

More WikiLeaks

US briefs UK govt about next WikiLeaks release. "Blair and Bush only dressed in skirts and tops for fundraiser."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Koreas Near War

NKorea warns region is on brink of war. Former President Bush in Crawford, Texas: "Bring It On!!"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Taliban Hiring More Actors

The Taliban is hiring more actors in their attempts to make fools of NATO. The Taliban is offering 70 Virgins to these actors in hopes of getting more men to take important Taliban roles.

written by UWGB-Beek, 26 November 2010
Rating:

CIA asks IMF for bailout

Afghan heroin harvest blighted by fungus

written by Julian Shure, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Carter Apologizes To Jews

Former President Carter officially apologizes to Jews for remark last year. "I apologize to all Jews. Now will you end embargo of peanuts?"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

McDonald's Announces "Turkey On The Go" For Thanksgiving Day Shoppers

Shoppers enjoyed a Thanksgiving meal at the Food Court in the mall. Ordered "family style", the meals include "fortune cookies" called McThanks. "We want to keep the spirit alive," an official said.

written by kslaught, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

To prevent drowning, hold breath when head is immersed in water.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Honesty Best Policy

According to Dr. Ruth, honesty is the clue to any relationship. "If you can fake that, you're pretty well in like Flint!"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Bernard "Turkeyman" Matthews Dies

Bernard Matthews, who made his millions bringing cheap turkey to the masses, meets the Grim Reaper's Chopping Block at 80!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Bush On Horseback

Former President Bush states in his new book that Putin was a big show-off, riding on horseback in pics. "I had done that many times but before Laura could take a pic, the quarter would run out."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Gore: My Best Feat Since Inventing Internet

Global warming has slowed down over the past 10 years, say scientists. Perhaps even the past 50 years.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Ireland In Worse Shape In Hundred Of Years

Ireland in worse shape since St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland and into the world's law schools!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Just As Safe

NHS Study: Meat and milk from cloned animals is 'no greater safety risk' than ordinary artificially fattened producers of regular meat and milk.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Somebodies Selling Weapons!!

"Nuclear Nations" jump from eight in 2005 to 107 by 2011!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

No ObamaCare!

Shocking extent of Britain's 'postcode lottery' of NHS care revealed that patients are simply left on hospital wards rather than being looked after in stroke units. Many Mailing this to Obama.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Palin May Divorce to Support Presidential Bid

Admits confusion as to whether being married to the First Lady conflicts with her opposition to gay marriage.

written by Catherine the Average, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Many Blame Beer At Bars

Passenger hauled off plane for too many bathroom breaks. Objects that pilot took three visits before take-off.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Germany Hurt By Bailouts

The escalating debt crisis on the eurozone periphery is starting to contaminate creditworthiness of Germany and the core states of monetary union. German leaders may do a beer conference of their own.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Saints Still Win!

NFL's Saints steal win over Cowboys with late touchdown. Cowboy owner breaks toe kicking booth.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

What Halftime Performance?

Black Eyed Peas to perform Super Bowl halftime. Perfect time to refill on snacks, get rid of all that beer.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Apparently It's A Clock Warning

More than 600,000 people killed by 2nd-hand smoke. Consumers advised to remove second hands from clock before they begin smoking.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Flat TV's Still Have No Programs

Sharp holiday price drops seen for flat-panel TVs, Pong games!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Criticized

Critics say Obama lagging on endangered species like far-left voters.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Joint Adventure At Turin

Fiat wants Chrysler joint venture at Turin plant. Negotiations 'shrouded' in mystery.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Being Thankful For!

What liberals and conservatives can be thankful for this Thanksgiving: That we haven't thrown both of them out of office.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Carp On Shakedowns

Asian carp create nagging fear in Lake Erie towns as chemicals in water has led them to grow legs.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Just A bit At A Time Not So Painful

Portugal adopts deficit-reducing austerity plan to use over 40 year period.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Mammals Succeeded Dinosaurs

Dinosaur die-off cleared way for gigantic mammals. Two different Kirstie Alley types dug up in two different locations.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Lab Grown Instead Of Soil

Amphetamines growing drug threat in Asia: UN report. Earth-friendly natural drugs on the decline.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Passive Smoking Criticized

600,000 die each year from passive smoking: study states that more should get off their ass and go outside & walk around while smoking.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Jail Half Finished

Locally, Barren's new jail about half finished, builder says. Hopes rest is completed soon as over 50 prisoners have walked out so far.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Viking Explorers Came First?

The Viking explorer, Leif Erickson may well have been the first European to reach the Americas, but it is a certain Genoan sailor who gets all the glory. Both drawn in by lights of Indian casinos.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Three Great Rescues!

Teenagers adrift in Pacific for 50 days reach land. 17 rare sea turtles rescued off Cape Cod, Mass. Man who dropped by for cup of coffee at mall rescued from mad shoppers.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

SC Man Arrested

SC man accused of threatening to shoot president. He says he's upset with man he voted for.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

US May Open One Soon

Russia opens key plant to destroy chemical weapons. Estimate ten years to finish job.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Bombing Stopped

Pakistan police say bombing plot in capital foiled. First success in five years.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Rangel Punishment Thursday

Punishment phase for Rangel set for Thursday. Will be drawn (by artist) and quartered (Fined 50 cents).

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Europe Debt Hurts Market

Europe's debt crisis weighs on markets again plus helps to hide that of the US!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

First Book Out On Royal Couple!

First Kate and Wills book published; more in store soon. First one has 1500 photos of the couple standing by microphone.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

As Nkorean Threats Increase

Japan election sure to show opposition to US base. They sure picked a good time for it.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

New Drug Tunnel

Sophisticated drug tunnel found in San Diego. Police needed map of discovered underground maze!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

NKorea Usual Nutjobs At It

NKorea warns region is on brink of war. Japan say their Kamikazes ready to take to the air!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Mammals Still Huge

Dinosaur die-off cleared way for gigantic mammals like you see in today's WalMart!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Mall Too Full To Leave?

US shoppers crowd malls all night long. Many still there at 6:30 this morning.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Ready To Lap The Kiddies

US shoppers crowd malls all night long. Today, Santa Claus arrives wearing adult diapers.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Rat Mauls Rottweiler

Obesity Epidemic Threatens Fido, Fluffy, New York City Rats Too!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Animals Too Fat Also

Obesity Epidemic Threatens Fido, Fluffy, Too. Example, 150-pound cat featured in the World Weekly News!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Russia To Destroy/Sell Chemical Weapons

Russia has inaugurated a plant designed to destroy the country's largest stockpile of chemical weapons or at least those they cannot sell to Iran, Syria, NKorea.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Shop Till You Drop!

US shoppers crowd malls all night long. Need to spend it while we can!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Shop All Night

US shoppers crowd malls all night long after holding back the last few years.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Brink Of War

NKorea warns region is on brink of war. As Kim Sr. instructs his son on being the same pile of crap as he has been.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Region Brink Of War

NKorea warns region is on brink of war...and has been for 50 years!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Head Size

A new survey over men's preference for the size and shape of women's faces has determined that all men like a little head.

written by IainB, 26 November 2010
Rating:

'Global Warming Liberalist Hogwash' says poorly educated Right-Winger

NEW YORK - A right winger has yet again attacked Global Warming as communist plot, like 'soccer', even though he failed to pass high school.

written by Inhopeless, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Black ice Blamed for black out on black Friday

Retiree Mel Black in a black Mini to buy blackberries got a black eye after blacking out on black ice, and hitting a pole on the Blackhorse Pike. "Blackie, our black lab is OK," said his wife Blanche.

written by JAB, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Ooh, my bloody shoulder hurts!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Pacquaio Knockout

Manny Pacquaio scores a knockout both in the boxing ring and in the Philippine Congress!

written by foodallyoucan, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Martha Stewart Loses it On Thanksgiving Guest

Said the celebrity about one of her guests, "She was just horrendous. First, she swilled her wine like a drunken sailor, and then she ate her dessert with her salad fork. How gauche.

written by Charpa93, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Kim Jung & Son

WIRE: North Korean leader and son, a chip off the old blockhead, visited artillery site before shelling.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

China, Russia Quit Dollar

CHINA, RUSSIA QUIT DOLLAR! United States should quit buying their products! Where's the Tea Party?

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
Rating:

Slow The Spread of Heretics

Pope Benedict XVI has recommended that all none Catholics wear condoms.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2010
« Oct 2010 November 2010 Dec 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
100
2nd
99
3rd
113
4th
91
5th
112
6th
103
7th
121
8th
87
9th
87
10th
91
11th
76
12th
78
13th
103
14th
96
15th
106
16th
97
17th
120
18th
114
19th
117
20th
102
21st
134
22nd
94
23rd
109
24th
110
25th
141
26th
109
27th
76
28th
120
29th
108
30th
130
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

2 21 10 5


70 readers are online right now!

Go to top