Order by:
Rating:

Tea Party Gets Down to Business!

Washington - The newly elected Tea Party members get down to the important business of saving incandescent light bulbs.

written by Cal Jennings, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Leaded Toys For All Good Girls & Boys

Consumer groups warn of holiday hazard from deadly toys, especially from the Chinese Santa.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Vatican Promotes 26

At the Vatican Sunday, the Pope promoted 24 new Cardinals and a couple of Peckerwoods!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Condoms For All!

Vatican: Everyone can use condoms to prevent HIV, even monks, priests!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Three unidentified politicians held at Dulles Airport

"We can confirm, that three male politicians are being detained, after a full-body scan detected pork and earmarks on their shorts," was the only comment made by an airport security official.

written by JAB, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Paris Hilton turns heads at LAX

"Having lost my cell phone three times in the past year, I'm not taking any chances," was her response to the strange looks she got from TSA security after going through the full-body scan.

written by JAB, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Hillary Clinton goes through full-body scan to alleviate people's concerns

An official was overheard saying, "Man, she's got balls." It wasn't known whether he said it before or after she went through the scan.

written by JAB, 23 November 2010
Rating:

RuPaul spotted at the Jackson-Evers International Airport in Mississippi

After going through the full-body scan, one TSA woman was heard to gasp, "Lordy, he is all M-A-N!!"

written by JAB, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Monica Lewinsky detained at Miami International Airport

Officials would only comment, "We detected five Cuban cigars when Ms.Lewinsky went through the full-body scan."

written by JAB, 23 November 2010
Rating:

"Gee Wally, They Gave Me An Award!"

An embarrassment for the AMA Awards Sunday night when Justin Bieber actually won 5 awards but came out with four. It seems that a member of the audience, Jerry Mathers, left with the fifth one.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

The Geezer Bandit

An old man they call "The Geezer Bandit" has been holding up banks in San Diego. He tells the teller to hand over her money or he'll begin showing her 500 pictures of his first great-grandchild.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

"I Knew It Was Something!"

George W. Bush in his new book, Direction Points, forgets to mention the war in Iraq.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Thank YOU MUCH!

Of all times for Justin Bieber's voice to change, why did it have to happen in his acceptance speech for his fourth award Sunday Night? Sounded like he was suddenly possessed.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Dead Nazi Won't Be Tried

A Nazi suspect indicted on charges of involvement in the murders of 430,000 Jews at Belzec death camp has died in Germany aged 89 before he was to go to trial. That's 65 years of appeals.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Then A Quick Nap

Increase of number of layovers blamed on heated pat-downs.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Today's Odds From Bookies

Vampire books outnumber werewolf books 20-1 while 15-1 against zombies, 20,000-1 over Bernie Madoff.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Then Used For Compost

Tipper Gore states that Al Gore using tree bark in the bathroom for toilet tissue was the last straw.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

A Little More Patience Please

Pentagon: Next twenty years will be the key to winning in Afghanistan!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

A Pinch Of This, A Dab Of That!

Emiril Lagasse on Good Morning America says that he always uses a pinch of ground Mussolini to top all his homemade pizzas!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

No Bad Memories?

Breakthrough Pill to block out the bad memories! Like that blind date you had last month.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Swiss Change Slogan

The Swiss Alps have changed their slogan to "The Best Place In The World To Break A Leg With Free Beer & Yodeling Contests".

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Don't We Know You?

In Oldham yesterday, detectives who raided the house of a suspected drug-dealer found cocaine, cash - and an off-duty policewoman inside.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Not Mentioned In Infomercial

Japanese makers of Ginsu Knives say their product is so sharp it will cut anything but a fart!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

A Wicked Tongue

Bishop who said 'shallow' William and Kate's marriage would fall apart within seven years has been suspended, as the Bishop said to TheSpoof.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Canadian fast food fatties score hit on U Tube!

U Tube has 3 new heroes, fast food fatties from Canada devouring a 5 thousand calorie pizza and more, skinnies watching should put their fingers down their throats!

written by Jaggedone, 23 November 2010
Rating:

"Did You Hear The One About Putin?"

FUN AND GAMES: White House speechwriter set to moonlight as stand-up comedian. Embarrassed Obama by giving him the wrong script at recent conference.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Scientists at Oxford University claim dogs are quite smart

Finally, puts to rest why Camilla is smarter than Prince Charles.

written by JAB, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Protection For Sharks

Experts demand better protection for sharks, as Bernie Madoff attacked in his sleep once again.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Still, Better Than The Year Before

UN: Emission pledges fall short of climate target by 99%!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Minnesota Vikings Were Fed Up With Childress

Sources close to the Vikings now say it was the coach's catering service menu requirements that were responsible for the team's poor performance this season. Negotiations with McDonalds are rumored.

written by Lightning, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Tea Party Taking Over Tea Vee?

Predictably, Tea Party members deny a conspiracy to help Bristol Palin on 'Dancing with the Stars'. Predictably, someone will accuse the Tea Party of anything they can.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Dalai Gives Up Ceremonial Duties

Dalai Lama wants to give up ceremonial duties and will do so in a ceremony early next year!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Housing Down

Home sales dip 2.2 percent in October. No one wants to purchase a dipping house!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Dips Out Of Luck

Home sales dip 2.2 percent in October. Dips moving away from selling real estate.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Imposter Poses As Taliban Negotiator

Man involved in Afghan talks said to be impostor as soon as they see Mrs. Salahi.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Terrorist Sweep

Belgium: 11 detained in 3-nation anti-terror sweep, finding explosives in their brooms.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Yeonpyeong!

North Korea Fires on Island of Yeonpyeong! And that's exactly what it sounded like!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Gridlock?

Impact of midterm elections? Most Americans bet on gridlock until a new president turns everything back around.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Why Moderate Alcohol Good For You

Scientists learn why moderate alcohol use can be good for you but haven't sobered up enough to explain yet.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

They Told Me This Was A Stock Market

Stocks head to lower open after Korean conflict, EU debt and some poor farmer misunderstanding letting three cows get loose on the floor.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Irish Know How to Crash a Party in Europe

The Irish know how to crash a party, and this time their party crashing ways are slowing economic growth in Europe. The Irish blame banks for giving them free whiskey with every bad loan they made.

written by UWGB-Beek, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Kim Kardashian Doesn't Believe in Sloppy Seconds

Kim Kardashian claims she doesn't like sloppy seconds because she needs to feel special; even if almost every male in the world nows what she looks like naked.

written by UWGB-Beek, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Bishop Who Claims Royal Wedding a Joke -- Loses Job

Bishop Broadbent claims the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate won't last and it's a joke lost his job when his boss, the Queen, fired him for going against her family.

written by UWGB-Beek, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Vampire Fans Can't Sleep During Day, Anymore

Vampire fans can't sleep during the day, because of rumors that Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be coming out of retirement with a new movie.

written by UWGB-Beek, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Both Turkeys Pardoned?

Rangel and White House Turkey could both be pardoned Wednesday.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Date Of Royal Wedding Given

Prince William and Kate Middleton to wed April 29 at Westminster Abbey, royal household announces, earlier if WWII begins.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

American Indians Already

'Half of Americans' Facing Diabetes by 2020. Meds for Diabetes stock makes stock jump.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Bill Clinton Likable!

Bush 41 and Barbara: 'You can't dislike Bill Clinton. He's very likable'...Our son is not speaking to us.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Fun & Games

FUN AND GAMES: White House speechwriter set to moonlight as stand-up comedian. WWIII starts in Koreas.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Just Fire It Anyway!

REPORTS: Technical woes halt some Iran nuclear machines, especially after Israeli computer attacks.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Trains, Subways Next?

Are Trains and Subways Next For Searches? "Hope not", says worker. "Some of those guys wear up to ten pairs of pants."

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

White House Wants Searches Continued

White House Fights Back: Terrorists Have Discussed Use of Prosthetics to Conceal Explosives. "If one went of we'd not have a leg to stand on."

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Koreans Going At It!

S. Korea denies seeking redeployment of U.S. tactical nuclear weapons but tells US not to stray far.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

NKorea Attacks SKorea

NKorea's military command vows 'merciless' military strike against SKorea. Japan, US Navy on alert.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Better Sell The House & Get One

Nissan Leaf runs equivalent of 99 miles per gallon and only costs about $40,000.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Unhappy About Sex

Middle-aged Americans unhappy about sex, especially those still living with parents.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Small Bump Still There

Small bump expected in economic growth in Q3 as Wall Street jumper still in the road.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

50% Obese!

Arizona school district sends letters home about overweight kids. Blocking up halls so bad everyone is late to class.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Ready For 2012 Elections?

First ads of 2012 GOP presidential fight going up in Iowa. Placing them over 2000 and 1998 posters.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Watch The Skies

Forecasters warn of buzzards in Washington state. Sorry, should be blizzard.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Swap Shop

Pilot transplant project aims to spur kidney swaps at local farmer's markets.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Skip The Monkey Pat-Downs

TSA pat-down leaves pet monkey traveler and TSA employee covered in shit.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Call Me Lama!

Dalai Lama 'to retire' from government-in-exile role' after swear-in today.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Disaster In Cambodia

Cambodia festival stampede leaves nearly 380 dead. Leaders told to call off next year's festival stampede!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

High In Lockups!

Juvenile lockups high in Kentucky. Officials think friends are smuggling in drugs.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

NBA Lockout!

NBA's Hunter is 99 percent sure a lockout looms for pro basketball. WWIII begins in Koreas?

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Kids Do Better W/O Meds

Kids' ER visits fell after cold medicines' removal. Were side effects worse than colds?

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

First Things First

Rivers throws 4 TD passes in 35-14 Chargers win. WWIII starts.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Portugal Is Next

Portugal prepares to be market focus after Ireland. Other countries ask to join EU so they can be bailed out.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Oil Rig Victims Kin Protest

AP Enterprise: Rig victims' kin feel left out. "Doesn't human lives outweigh oiled birds, fish and coast sand?"

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Tea Party Is For It

Should Pluto Be a Planet After All? Experts Weigh In. Plutonian lobby efforts helping.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

WW III?

NKorea fires artillery onto SKorean island, 2 dead. World War Three begins. Palin Wins Dancing contest.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Plane Passenger Pissed

TSA pat-down leaves Mich. man covered in urine. Being pissed on has other passengers angry.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Feds Raid Hedge Funds

Feds turn up heat on Wall St., raid 3 hedge funds. Found them to be more "moneytrees" than hedges.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Still Catching Blame

Auto industry success a hard sell for White House. But the long term results turn voters against Obama.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Dems and Republicans Agree To Ignore The Deficit

In a rare show of unity, both parties agreed to let the nation hurtle toward bankruptcy. Releasing a joint statement, they said "Plenty of talk, but no painful choices. That's what people want."

written by kslaught, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Irish Bad Debt Gamble Fails Again

Hopes of saving the Irish economy failed today when Lazy Tinker pulled up after leading the Paddy Power Handicap Chase this afternoon. "There's still Eurobillions" said Finance Minister Brian Lenihan.

written by Ron Smith, 23 November 2010
Rating:

TSA announces the hiring of Santas

The uproar over the patting down of children has prompted the TSA to hire Santas to help with security. The kids will get to sit on Santa's lap, and he'll find out if they've been naughty or nice.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 23 November 2010
Rating:

North and South Korea test their pea-shooters!

North and South Korea have shot at each other with their pea-shooters. The reason: the North accused the South of kidnapping their dogs, a delicacy in Korean cuisine, the south denied it, woof, woof!

written by Jaggedone, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Tea Party Questions Presley's Patriotism

"Why just a blue Christmas? What about red & white?" rant party brass.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Breaking...

Other journo's scoop goes here whilst we frantically work the phones...

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Developing...

Unconfirmed rumours too good to pass up go here.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Wee price fixing scandal?

News of the World pursuing claims unusually corrupt leprechauns behind spikes in gold price. Daily Mail and readers shocked and appalled by disgusting, greedy short people.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Harriet Harman: William Missed My Hints

Ex-Minister for Spoiling All the Fun admits she'd have chucked it all to become Queen.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

"I genuinely did not understand I am not a sovereign nation."

News of the World dupes Sarah Ferguson into seeking EU bailout.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

No charges as FBI raids hedge fund offices

Anemic economy blamed for lack of progress in screwing investors.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Royal Wedding Off?

Middleton considering postion after realizing she is not a contestant on "I'm A Celebrity..."

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

"Can't get much more miserable than that!"

Wills and Kate seek to avoid downhill slide of Charles and Diana by starting life together in Wales.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Beggars Can be Choosers

New poll shows 95% of Irish credit leprechauns for providing bail out funds.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

British Constitutional Experts Confess

'truth be told we make it up as we go. Otherwise it doesn't pay terribly well.'

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Lanky Daniel Day-Lewis to Play Lincoln

Susan Boyle tapped for Mary Todd.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

The similarities end here

Middleton declines summer holiday on garish yacht with bonus trip to Paris.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Pope says he could resign if his health fails

No mention of logic or morality.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

New Constitutionally Sound Thinking is Required

When is the USA going to stop using 19th Century laws to solve 21st Century problems? For example playing cops and robbers leading to TSA invasive screening & tickets/fines for texting while driving!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Americans have Lost Patience with Karsai

Karsai indicates Afghans losing patience in war! Pres. Obama we Americans have lost patience with Karsai's corruption, so how about bringing US combat troops home & let US covert forces do the job?


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2010
Rating:

California Bureaucrats to Remove Toxins in Products

Chemicals are to be guilty until proven innocent! Some household adhesives were very good until the liberals banned ingredients that made them stick, as toxic. Now these products are worthless.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2010
Rating:

What do we do now?

Yanks to experience identity crisis if WikiLeaks actually does post 3 million U.S. secrets.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Fourth Amendment Rights (Search & Seizure)

Mr. TSA Director, as an American citizen what part of "I don't want anyone touching my body, don't you understand?" See you at the Supreme Court sonny!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2010
Rating:

A Shortage of Invasive Full Body Scanners

A TSA screener (Dr. Mengele) was seen waving people to the left for an enhanced pat down or to the right to go to their airplane, after they emerged from the existing airport metal detector equipment.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Obama and Social Conservative Republicans Don't Get It!

Federal/state elections were about the economy/jobs, e.g. less spending, taxes & regulation; not abortion, same sex marriage or gays in the military. Obama & the GOP are headed for history's dustbin!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Irish Shrug Off Bailout

Poll shows 90% prefer a drink and a nice chat over solvency.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Ring of truth...

Chelsy Davy changes Facebook status to Also Ran.

written by Catherine the Average, 23 November 2010
Rating:

No Global Warming

Hundreds of scientists say that global warming is a myth. "We have to come up with something or other every few years or everyone would ignore us."

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

No Gate-Crashers This Time

President Obama said today that he was going to be more careful about his state dinners and not allow those gate-crashers, Mr. & Mrs. Joe Biden in this time.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Sir Paul McCartney

Sir Paul McCartney says that his last few weeks with his former wife Heather were rough. "I would always be just sitting there, waiting for the other shoe to drop."

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Super Bowl Halftime

Due to cutbacks this year, the February Super Bowl halftime show only a TV warning for kids and the a parade of NFL cheerleaders with one boob hanging out!

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Security Searcher Fired

New York City Kennedy Airport fires security searcher for continued goosing incidents.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Now Watch This Five Minutes Closely

International chess championships to begin having instant replays.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
Rating:

Give An Arm & A Leg

In Bear Wallow, Kentucky, the long arm of the law finally caught up with some local bootleggers.

written by Bureau, 23 November 2010
« Oct 2010 November 2010 Dec 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
100
2nd
99
3rd
113
4th
91
5th
112
6th
103
7th
121
8th
87
9th
87
10th
91
11th
76
12th
78
13th
103
14th
96
15th
106
16th
97
17th
120
18th
114
19th
117
20th
102
21st
134
22nd
94
23rd
109
24th
110
25th
141
26th
108
27th
76
28th
120
29th
108
30th
130
 

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